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05.22.08, 20:19 PM General Topics
23 replies
so told DH tonight I am leaving. What should i do to prepare. DH says he wants it to be nice, but I don't think he will be nice (he is not physcially abusive, but definitely verbally and I fear he will use this as a way to try and take everything from me, including the kids), and I want to make sure I and the kids are protected. TIA. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:19 PM Flag
 

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what did you do to prepare before you told him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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nothing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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you need access to money, kids paperwork, car keys, medication etc. go to this link at NCADV - http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/SafetyPlan_130.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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^^this gives more info about a safety plan [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/LegalGuidelines_133.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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this give info about legal guidelines [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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copies of financials - taxes, bank stmts, credit card bills, iras, investments, loans, mortgage, car info; your, dh's and your children's vital records (your lawyer will need his social in order to track him for childcare, support if it comes to that); insurance info. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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i have all that b/c I handle the finances. is there anything I can do to make sure he doesn't go after and get the kids? what are the laws about that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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well the law is that fathers have rights too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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I want him to have rights. want him to have a good relationship with the kids. I am just worried that he will try to take the kids from me out of anger. he is a very spiteful person. he has threatened to do this in the past. but i don't see what he could use. I used to work FT, but now I stay at home, i don't drink, do drugs or anything else. I am guessing they are empty threats but then I remember some of the newspaper stories like the woman who had her twins taken from her b/c her husband is rich and powerful. DH definitely has more resources and connections than i do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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^^^fear of him taking the kids has made me stay longer than I should have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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well if you don't get a good attorney you could be screwed then. have family and friends that will back you up in court as a support system. try to find a job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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no father can take a child away from a mother unless she's proven to be unfit. if you're a good mother, and people will attest to it, you will at least have joint custody. if he's a decent father at all, he wouldn't take his kids mother away from them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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thank you. that's what i needed to hear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:37 PM Flag
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you need to consult with a few attorneys and then hire someone asap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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He should leave [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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he won't and how can I make him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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Show him the door [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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don't be silly. she can't physically make him leave [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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I managed to do it. I did have to get a protective order, but it was surprisingly easy to do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:33 PM Flag
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he's not physically abusive. i would not be able to get a protective order nor would I do that to him. I am just trying to think ahead and try to anticipate what he might do or say to get full custody. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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the only thing I could do would be to lock him out when he leaves and that seems kind of nasty. I don't hate the guy, I just want to be done. I'm tired of all the fighting and the kids will be better off not hearing it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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