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05.22.08, 16:58 PM Toddler
21 replies
My nanny decided to drop a bomb on me tonight: apparently, the $18/hour I pay her for 2 kids (though I'm home 50% of the time and my older dc is at school or in various after school activities almost every minute my nanny is here) is not enough $$$ for her and that she knows of people hiring "on 95th and Park" and "85th and Columbus" $750/week on the books for 45 hours. (Mind you, that's barely more than we're paying her.) I feel held up by her, and betrayed. So we got in a huge fight and I told her that if she leaves us -- and my special needs child -- for $.70/hour or thereabouts, without even giving us a chance to match it, then I will be forced to withhold a good recommendation; I'll have to tell the new person that she's a good nanny but will likely leave you for the person in the park who offers her $.50 /more. Am I wrong here? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 05.22.08, 04:58 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

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screw her. tell her to go to 95th and park -- she might just be bluffing... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:00 PM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:00 PM Flag
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Find someone else. Do NOT let your nanny extort money from you. I'm really sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:00 PM Flag
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not wrong at all. she's awful. i'd fire her if she doesn't leave [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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you said the right thing, though my heart strings were tugged by the SN child. before then i was indifferent [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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np: I was merely annoyed at the nanny until that. Now it really seems like extortion, just awful - I might have fired her right there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:02 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. She is a great nanny, and came recommended by my son's OT because of her work for 6 years with a SN child. She knows we need her and we feel we pay her fairly, and yet I feel like she just wants an "easier" job even if it doesn't pay much more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:13 PM Flag
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$18/hr for 45 hours is $810, you are apying her better than those offers so I'm confused about the nanny's math skills. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:13 PM Flag
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op: Nanny said she knows of a job (hasn't interviewed for it; her friend told her about it) that pays $750/week NET for 45 hours. That comes out to $16.62/hour net and more than $18/hour gross. We pay her what amounts to less than that, but it costs us nearly $19/hour to have her on the books. Complicated. But her net is less for us in part b/c she's only 35 hours/week. If we found a way to pay her for 45/week the hourly difference would be negligible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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i'm not sure what to think. first of all, i think $18/hour for two dcs is really high. unless your special needs child is really special needs and requires more work or special experience. Secondly, it was very unprofessional of her to broach the subject this way. You shouldn't ask for a raise b/c you heard someoen else is getting that much. You should be able to say "i deserve a raise because of x and y, and i know that this is a reasonable amount to ask for b/c i know of people getting hired at that rate". But i don't always expect nannies to be very professional in how they ask for raises. many of them are not professionals. (same as many people hiring nannies aren't really experienced at hiring or managing). Bottom line, i think you are taking this personally and it is really just business. If you think her demands are fair or warranted, see if you can meet them. If not, then just tell her you aren't going to. She knows herself that if she leaves you high and dry she's not going to get a good reference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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18 an hour is not that high, i started my nanny at that for two kids (3y and 6mo) but we are in burbs and she drives [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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She would be so finished with me after that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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I'm on 94 and Park and I'm NOT hiring!! I'll be a UB vigilante and scout the 'hood and tell everyone not to hire her!! (On a more serious note, who knows what she is thinking?! The question is: do you want to match? Will you be able to get past this? Maybe it's time to cut your ties with her.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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:) That's the thing. She's amazing with my kids and I trust her completely, but this really has me thinking that maybe we need to part ways b/c of the tension now. I was in tears when she left. My youngest son (just turned 2) was then crying her name out b/c he knew she and I were upset. To the poster above, my son has special needs, but he's actually easier at 4 than my NT 2-year-old is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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np: Ditto about my SN child being easier than my hell-raising toddler. Came as such a shock - right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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Vigilante poster from above: sounds like a very tough situation and I don't have much advice. I'd probably have a hard time getting past this (which is why I asked) -- but I also realize that it's hard to find an amazing nanny. How did you leave things? What do you want to happen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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Vigilante poster again: She may want an "easier" job...but she may also find that another family is a lot harder (frankly, you sound nice and level-headed and realistic)! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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I totally understand your situation. I would not want to offer it to her because of how badly and meanly she handled the situation. It's kind of hard to forget something like that (unless she comes back and apologizes and explains that she came at it the wrong way and just approached it more professionally.) to me, this situation tells you a lot about her (and also sounds like she is quietly resentful -- I was a PA and was very quietly resentful -- so maybe it's time to let go.) She may be great with the kids, but it is still a job to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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i'm the poster above. i really think you should not take this personally. She asked for a raise, which she is entitled to do. You can decide whether or not to give it. I also suspect she doesn't have another job lined up. I think it just hammered home the idea that she can leave at any time. But you'll manage. You'll be fine. And if you are paying $18/hour, you'll easily be able to find someone to replace her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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I pay $15/hr for one child and she does zero housework. So I guess from this post my nanny is well paid??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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uh, no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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