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05.22.08, 15:53 PM General Topics
16 replies
Anyone on ever had to fire a nanny? Can you tell me your story to steel my resolve to fire mine... [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 03:53 PM Flag
 

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She wasn't a great match for us but I hung in there despite the fact that I felt like she took advantage of our generosity in many ways. She was having financial troubles and asked to borrow money (which I gave her). She then didn't show up and called later to say that her dh had been arrested. Her explanation didn't make sense and her story changed. I just didn't feel comfortable but felt badly that she was having so many problems. Dh let her go and gave her 2 wks severance. She had only been working for us for a couple of months but we had given her a weeks bonus for the holidays (in the interest of setting the tone for the future-before we knew the situation stunk). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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Wow, similar to our situation. Her life is totally dramatic, always leaving early to see lawyers about this or that latest drama, telling us about her financial troubles. I think you said it right -- she isn't a good match for us. I'm just dreading finding a new nanny and letting her go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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or: I totally understand. I got flamed on here at the time for firing her right after her dh got arrested (accused of kicking someone while they were down). It was just too crazy and now that we have someone who is the right fit, a lot of the stuff that made me uncomfortable with previous nanny was really just my gut telling me that something was wrong. Dh and I were just saying the other day that we probably would have had much more serious problems with her if things had gone on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:02 PM Flag
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You had me until you sent your husband to fire her. Why do grown women act like such girls? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:02 PM Flag
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or: I know what you mean but I can be such a pushover hence the money loan etc. I had just had a new baby and chose to take the dc out in the stroller while dh dealt with it. He was her employer too. He had more emotional distance from her situation as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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not me! I had no prob telling her! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:04 PM Flag
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i'm not one to defend women with nannies, but YOU SUCK. why can't her husband (and mine, too) do something for once??? we do all of the birthing, teaching, cleaning, hiring, etc....why can't her dh do something? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:07 PM Flag
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how about either one can do it - and just take the gender thing out- if we are 50/50 in the relationship, then it is a toss up as to who gets to do it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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You know exactly what I mean. Otherwise capable women can't seem to man up when it comes time to do something uncomfortable. Firing a nanny does not replace the expectation that a man will participate fully in the rearing of his children and the maintenance of hishome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:09 PM Flag
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yes, i get you, but sometimes we women do all of the shit and leave the uncomfortable things to our absent husbands. i think it's a fair trade. if you stay at home all day (and work from home on top of it, as do i), you might agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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I am a WAHM mom too - am taking a break as I type. I am just noting the ease with which some women hide behind their husbands when it comes to uncomfortable confrontation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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yes- told her to pack up, gave her money for a hotel for a week and took her housekeys. This was a pretty severe situation though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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Can you share the details? Was she live-in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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yes she was live in, there was neglect and abuse (found out bc a neighbor dropped in) - then we started to put things together and it seemed to be true - it was not horrific, but bad enough to warrant immediate removal from our home- for everyone's safety! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:02 PM Flag
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what happened?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:03 PM Flag
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I am on my way out, but here is my advice FWIW- she had our 3yo scared to where she wouldn't tell us there was a problem- which I guess is pretty common with abuse. This was in a very short amt of time about 10 days and the abuse was not obvious- dc was very scared but did say some odd things, like when I am 4 will nanny still be here?......anyway moral of the story always be careful- this nanny had great refs and seemed so cheerful and sweet....you never know :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:08 PM Flag
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