< Return to Talk
05.22.08, 12:34 PM General Topics
191 replies
"you just continue to find new and innovative ways to disappoint me"-- DH to teenaged ds [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 12:34 PM Flag
 

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Really shitty thing to say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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i think it's hilarious. ds got his 3rd speeding ticket [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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NP: Jesus, the guy is not beating the crap out of his kid and calling him a loser. He is DISAPPOINTING him! If you don't think your kids will disappoint you quite a few times in life, especially as teenagers, you're delusional. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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ITA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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PREACH!!!! this coddling parenting baffles me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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because it's hilarious. ds is the type of kid who runs car into the garage door, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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np: Maybe you and DH should try to figure out why he is trying to get attention this way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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maybe he should stop driving so fast, and notblame it in the parents all of the time- I drove fast as a teenager, not to get my distant parents attention, but because I was a know it all punk who believed myself to be invincible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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exxactly. ds is a great kid, no screams for our attention. he just.. drives fast and is not the best driver [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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I didn't say it was the parents' fault. But even your idiotic behavior was probably rooted in getting attention - if not from your parents, then from someone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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speeding is not about getting attention, you know. new drivers, including teens, tend to have really bad gauge of speed... and teenagers are stupid drivers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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yeah, like being in a rush to get wherever I needed to be at that time- were you perfect as a teen? No? Then stfu. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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Sounds like you still have issues! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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Bitter much? I am sure you have perfect children who never get in trouble, you and your dh were perfect kids and have lollipops growing out of your ass. Please, this is real life, and sometimes, saying something like that to your kid is the only way to get through to them. How is that different than saying to a child who has failed a test, " I am disappointed in you?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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My kids are in trouble a lot. Making it about me is not likely to make a teenager care about bad behavior. Punishment and consequences can though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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if you can't see the damage that is done by words and think that people who don't handle it this way are "perfect", how can anyone tell you differently? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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omg you're such a sissie! the damage done by words??? please, fathers and sons have said MUCH worse to each other and pretty sure op's dh was being facetious [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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yes, I'm a sissie. Are you going to beat me up and call me names? You sound like a bully [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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Should he be facetious, given that his son just got his third speeding ticket? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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you don't think the kid knows that his dad isn't happy? I don't see what good it does to point out the kid is a continual disappointment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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why should ANY dad be happy with repeated driving offenses! OMG! CHILDREN NEEEEED TO KNOW WHEN THEY HAVE DISAPPOINTED THEIR PARENTS! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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speakign from my own experience, i was a very good kid who tended to lack common sense. my father's face alone said OP's entire sentiment. and i challenged myself to be more responsible. tough love goes a looong way. had my parents said "that's okay, it's not your fault" i would still be a stupid immature person [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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Are those the only two options in your world? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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I have a diagnosis: teenager [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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lol, exactly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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Perhaps, but from his father's self-involved response, I doubt it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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LOL, please, raise a teen. just one. juuust one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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I am. And he's far from perfect, and so am I. But this DH's comment is really telling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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i think you're reading faaarrr to into this. watch a sitcom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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yeah because sitcoms are a model for the rearing of our children...jesus christ, I think I 've found what's wrong with this country! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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You're an idiot. She is suggesting you remove the stick from your ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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WOW the chip up your ass is astounding. it takesa looooott of humor to get through raising a teen. i for one feel inspired by the dr. huxtable/theo relationship [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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how is "You continue to disappoint me" humorous even a little? I'm not saying there isn't a humorous way to deal with things, but you can be angry and stern even in a funny way, without being snarky and belittling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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he said, and i quote "you find new and innovative ways to disappoint me." and if ds is continually acting irresponsibly then saying 'you continue to disappoint me' is something i could certainly imagine myself saying, have heard my parents say, etc. are you supposed to say the behavior is NOT disappointing? grow some gonads, hun! your teens are gonna eat you alive! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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Sorry, you sound like a total bore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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You're going to raise a complete monster. Mark my words. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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Oh gag. YOu are surely raising a coddled entitled little turd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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the people who love to call names are really funny on here. Negative, hateful talk is obviously the right thing in their minds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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I bet you're fun at parties! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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I bet you think you are fun, but people actually loathe you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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omg so self-righteous! name calling? did you even read OP? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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did you read that she thinks that people who disagree with her are raising "coddled entitled little turds"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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OP didn't say that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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and I was talking about the people who like to call names. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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hateful talk? telling a teenager they disappointed you is the truth! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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OKAY! ITTTTTA! these people have nooooo idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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you are a self-important loser [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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I can picture you now. Are you Jewish? A psychologist or someone who majored in Psych at college? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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None of the above. But interesting you went right for the religious slur. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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ita, these people are angry and hateful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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I love how the only two options for them are either telling the kid it's fine that he breaks the law or telling him he is a continual disappoint to them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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if your kid's irresponsible behavior continues to disappoint you, isn't it your obligation to let them know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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I think it's more important to set limits and have consequences for bad behavior. My child would not still be driving after the second speeding offense, me being disappointed in his idiotic behavior gets me nowhere if I keep letting him drive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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you have to really be clear with teens when they're being irresponsible. they honestly don't know. i see no problem with OP whatsoever [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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if you establish an identity for them that depicts them as a constant failure, and let them know you expect them to screw up, you are setting up a very bad dynamic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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ITTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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sounds like you need to take his car away [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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Ditto! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:35 AM Flag
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Wow. He is a crap dad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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what is he supposed to say, "oh it's ok sweetie, i'll take care of it?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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he sounds like a peach [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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ds DOES eff up.. a lot... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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i think it is fine. they probably get along pretty well, and the third speeding ticket is a bit much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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I see therapy in your son's future, or at least a self sabotaging ne'er do well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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please. stop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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Oh man, you have issues [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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THIS IS WHAT TEENAGERS DO. sheesh! every month is something new with them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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right, so belittling them is the way to show them you understand that "THIS IS WHAT TEENAGERS DO" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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LOL, lady, i can only pray you have op's level of sense of humor when dcs hit teens. belittling? loving a teen is also abotu reminding them how completely stupid their actions can be sometimes... which is what OP sounds like to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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The kid's behavior was stupid because he is breaking the law and could hurt himself and/or others. Not because his father didn't want him to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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teens (and all children) need to know when they are disappointing their parents or makign the same stupid mistakes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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Yeah, I well I think OP and her DH should have just taken away the kid's car after the second speeding offense. What are they waiting for? The kid to cause an accident and kill someone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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CALM. DOWN. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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wow, glad you've obviously never gotten a speeding ticket [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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you know, teens do get killed in accidents all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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they certainly do, and i imagine op is a aware of this. isn't that part of why the behavior is disappointing? because ds could hurt himself and others? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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I've never got three, especially in a short amount of time. And for damn sure my parents wouldn't keep letting me drive if got two speeding tickets! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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well it doesn't sound like op and her dh are not taking actions against this 3rd offense, but, let's remember, speeding can be going 55 in a 45 zone, so, we don't know if the kid is reckless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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Does that really matter? Even if it's just that the kid is completely selfish and doesn't give a shit about the fines the parents have to pay or their insurance going up. You break the rules, the car gets taken away. Simple as that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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we don't know what the punishment was for the 2nd offense. could be that the kid earned his driving privileges back, what do we know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:25 PM Flag
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ita. To make an impression on him you don't have to tell the kid he's a contant f-up, you just have to tell him he's taking the bus for the next 6 months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:25 PM Flag
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but when your kid does someting stupid, or establishes a stupid pattern of behavior it's appropriate to tell them how stupid their actions were AS you are punishing them. believe me, they won't get it otherwise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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I just believe there is a difference between telling your child their behavior was unacceptable and telling them they continually disappoint you. The difference in those two approaches matters to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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ehhh 3 times speeding, i think you can let them know they have continued to disappoint you and have clearly not learned their lesson [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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Grow a pair of balls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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ITTA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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You are INSANE [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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I hate this kind of negative crap, and it only gets worse, as your son will provoke it in response. You all need therapy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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You are an idiot. What would you like her DH to say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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that he's going to have to take responsibility for his actions, pay his own insurance, lose his license, what ever. But this kind of thing, where the son is a continual disappointment, always the f-up, is not good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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repeated driving offenses are continual dissappointment, though! what was op's dh supposed to say? "at least you're consistent, son"??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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he should say, you pay for this. He should take away his car. What good is it to tell him that he's a loser? He should tell him that he knows his kid knows better than to do these things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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np: Exactly! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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telling a kid they have disappointed you is NOT calling them a loser. don't you understand that? my parents let me know i disappointed them and i never felt like a loser. it was more of a "we raised you better" thing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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how about taking away his driving priv's? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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i'm sure op had a punishment along with the comment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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You fucked up.. You do this again and I will take your license away. You need to learn that there are consequences for your actions. Maybe taking his license away will teach a better lesson than "When I screw up it disappoints my dad" However, if you want your son living his life largely to get the approval of his dad, then by all means continue............. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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oh, i'm sure Op did NOTHIGN to actually discipline the child. right. and in my experience, you have to TELL teenagers that they've messed up and have been irresponsible, which is what OP definitely sounds like [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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saying they are doing something wrong is not the same as saying that they are a continual disappoinment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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a third speeding ticket IS another disappointment though. and it's beyond doing somethig wrong, it's a pattern. and you should certainly let ds know when he's established a pattern of irresponsibility [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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but you don't have to do it in a way that lets the kid know you don't expect any better of them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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um, actually i got just the opposite from OP, as in "you know better, why do you find new ways to disappoint me" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:13 PM Flag
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that would have been a better thing to say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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to me it's so implied in OP, though. dh was probably trying to have some humorous but stern tone for such a stupid stupid act [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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That's all I'm trying to say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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What makes you so sure he didn't say this after telling him how disappointed he was? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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I can only go on what I'm given [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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Nary two brain cells to rub together? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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oh PLEASE sister. you raise a teenager and then come back and tell me your dh doesn't ever throw up his hands [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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I continue to be amazed at the sissies on this site. If you think this is bad, you're truly living on another planet. NP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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half the people on here let their kids hit them and say it is their way of showing affection. Normal people with normal families have better ways of resolving issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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HAHAHAHA you are so right about the 'show of affection"! SHEESH, what parent hasn't looked at their teenager and just been like "you have GOT to be kidding me! you CANNOT be this dumb!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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My sister said the other day to her 16 yr old son, I know I did not drop you on your head when you were a baby, so please explain how you thought jumping off the back porch on to the trampoline was a good idea? The conversation was in the er while getting his arm set in a cast. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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so breaking his arm wasn't enough for him to figure out he screwed up, it's good for his mom to tell him he's an idiot, in case he doesn't know that already [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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um, mom of teenager, and sometimes, you blatantly have to tell them "this is BY far the stupidest thing you have every done." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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^^i should author 'happiest teen on the block" btw. clearly the sissies on the board don't get how you have to straight talk with teenagers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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np: I think what your sister said to her son is very different than the comment from OP's DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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not really, actually. i could have said either, btu im not so witty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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Your sister didn't make it all about her, she made it all about his dumb decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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how is OP all about the dad? i don't get it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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He made it all about the child disappointing him all the time, rather than about the kid breaking the law and risking his and other people's safety. I find it really weird that OP's son was still allowed to drive after the second ticket. Driving is a privilege, not a right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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ok, stop pretending to read OP's dh's mind, please. from that one snippet of post you don't know ANY of this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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We know that his statement, and we know that he and his wife let their kid continue to drive after two driving offenses. It's enough to question their approach to all this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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we don't know that there wasn't punishment after ticket 1 and 2.... or how far apart these have been. we're assuming way too much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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If he's still a teenager, it can't be so far apart, can it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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oh, i don't know. guess he could be as old as 19... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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np I strongly dislike you and your wacked, coddling parenting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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I'm okay with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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OMG she's makign me totally barf. good god i hope her dcs stop growing at 12. a teen will run right over her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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I know how to set limits and stick with them. My kid would not have a car to drive if they got that many tickets. One of my limits is not saying nasty things to people I love. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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I'm trying hard to see it your way but you really don't know wtf you're talking about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:37 PM Flag
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three strikes you're out sounds like a pretty normal policy for telling a kid you've disappointed me (again). and who re you to call that nasty? telling a teen that they know better and have disappointed you when they act irresponsibly is quality parenting in my book! wow, are you one of these moms who won't tell toddler it was wrong to hit someone because they don't want dc to feel 'shame"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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"you just continue to find new and innovative ways to disappoint me" - sounds like a pattern between the father and son. My brother and dad were locked in a pattern like this, so I grew up around it and it was corrosive. I have no problem telling my child what I think is wrong, but I don't do it in a way that establishes them as perpetually at fault. My dad never got tired of telling my brother about all the bad things he was doing, and my brother loved to provoke him. It's sick, and not necessary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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raise a teenage son, then we'll continue this conversation. he didn't say "you're gay, you disappoint me" or "you're short, you disappoint me." was he supposed to congratulate him on being an irresponsible driver or act like it wasn't disappointing to get ANOTHER speeding ticket? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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I could be wrong, and they could have a wonderful supportive relationship except for this one remark. But it sounds like it's not uncommon for the dad to tell the kid that he is a loser, and if it is constant, then it's harmful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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telling your kids that their pattern of irresponsibility has disappointed you is not calling your kid a loser. at all. indeed it's telling them you expect better because they can do better. calling your kid a loser is saying "oh, you don't know any better." THAT'S what being a loser means! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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and that's what the OP's husband sounds like he is doing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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itd, i didn't read that from it at ALL. maybe because i had parents who would have said the same thing to me. like "wow, your complete lack of responsibility just continues to reach new heights" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:28 PM Flag
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That would have been a much better statement than the one he made. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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i just find the statements so similar imo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:36 PM Flag
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holy mother [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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LOL EXACTLY! this is the kind of tone you have to take with teenagers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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Ha ha! Don't listen to these losers, that's a funny comment... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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i think it's hilariously bill cosby-esque! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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I am watching reruns of Sir Cosby as we speak (type?) Too funny! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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I realize this is taken totally out of context, but I think it's mean too...and I do have a teen. My dd would be devastated if I told her I was disappointed in her...even if I said it jokingly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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WHAT A SISSY FUCKING KID THEN! omg, teenagers eff up alll the time, and great parenting in my book let's them know you raised them better and that they have disappointed you with their behavior. wow.. where can i buy you some courage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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np: It's so sad you keep name-calling, especially now directed at children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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seriously. I really didn't know how to respond to that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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she only 15. she hasn't done anything to warrant my saying that yet. and you're incredibly rude [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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devastated that you would tell her you were disappointed? maybe you're not giving her enough credit. you have created a wimp, when i imagine she could handle it like the rest of us [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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but isn't the kid supposed to feel bad for disappointing you? okay, devastated might be too strong a word, especially if she knew she had done something wrong. but I would hope my disappoint would have a negative impact [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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i know i felt bad for disappointing my parents. for me this was how i knew they loved me, because they expected better from me and let me know when i wasn't acting as they had raised me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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How old is your dd? Is she really that fragile? Yikes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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i just don't get it. my parents let me know alll the time when i was effing up. had they not told me.. i would not have ever known. a 15yo being devastated sounds reallly like it's the parent's assessment and not the kid's [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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she's 15, she's a good kid and never gives us any trouble (yet). if I found out that she had done something she wasn't supposed to do, then I probably would tell I was disappointed in her, but that statement alone would have an impact. I think what's getting lost here is the way OP's dh said this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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but shes going to disappoint you at some point in her life. and she should know that this is not somethign she should be devastated about-- that she should learn from her mistakes, make it right for herself and her parents, and move forward. this grave fear of disappointment can be completely paralyzing because she IS going to disapoint you-- it's what teens seem to do best [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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but that's not at all about establishing that your kid is a constant disappointment to you and that you expect that from them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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i didn't get from OP that the kid is a constant disappointment AT ALL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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the speeding kid? I sorta did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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(i think it was op) said he was a really good kid, just a horrible driver, hits the garage, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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that really makes a lot of sense to me. so what can I do? I think it's normal for a kid not to want to disappoint their parents', at least this kid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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very normal to NOT want to disappoint your parents. this is the mark of a GREAT kid, actually. whereas a bush twin does everything possible to humiliate her family. but when the disappointment comes (and it will) she will feel automatically horrible because she's never done it before. then you tell her how out of her character her behavior was, how she has really disappointed you, and what she can do to make it right. all she needs ot hear from you is that she can get back in your good graces if she makes it right. she won't be devastated if you provide her with a way to correct it, i promise you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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good to know. thanks. so there is hope for my f*ing sissy of a kid ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:36 PM Flag
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fwiw, i was definitely that kid, and the day when i disappointed my parents (SHOPLIFTING!) certainly came. i nearly peed in my pants i was so terrified [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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what's new and innovative about a teenager getting a speeding ticket... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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that too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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I had a college friend who got arrested for not obeying the speed limit on the Thruway. He had done some mescaline and then headed back up state (he was not too bright.) It was late at night and he saw the flashing red lights in his rear view mirror. "Oh shit" he thought to himself. "I have no idea how fast I was going. Well, I'll tell the trooper, uhm what is a good lie... 60 mph. I was going 60 and nothing more than 60 mph. Heck, there were a lot of cars going faster than me. Yeah, that is what I'll say." The trooper knocks on his window. "License, Registration and Insurance please. Do you know why I pulled you over?" "No officer." "Do you know how fast you were going?" "Uhm 55 maybe 60mph. Nothing more!" "Son, I clocked you at seven miles per hour. Would you step out of the car please." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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HILARIOUS STORY! LOOLLLL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:34 AM Flag
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i don't understand this story [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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You probably can't read the end of the story. The trooper says, "Son, I clocked you at seven miles per hour. Would you step out of the car please." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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Hilarious! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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if it were original. That's from a Chris Farley movie, but it was Nitrous Oxide not tranqs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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I was already out of college when Chris Farley joined Sat Night Live. (I just checked IMDB.) Now, it may be that the guy I knew at Cortland wrote the scene for the movie or it could be his story made it to the writers or it could just be -- like the light bulb -- two different people had the same thing in different places/times. (What movie is it by the way?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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The movie is Black Sheep from 1996. Here's the quote "Motorcycle Cop: Tell me, officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going? Mike: Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get 'er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin' about... 65, tops. Motorcycle Cop: SEVEN! SEVEN miles an hour! And normally, when I stop people, they pull onto the *shoulder*! " [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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I'm gonna have to set the TIVO. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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if you enjoyed chris farley it's a fun movie, not quite as much as Tommy Boy, but still pretty good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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he leaves me -- warmish. I love Sandler, CF just never did it. (I grew up with Bulushi so...) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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I don't think this is way out of line unless it's over something trivial. Speeding tickets are serious. Your dh probably worries that his child is going to kill himself or someone else with his recklessness. He would be remiss to not let ds know how out of line he is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:25 PM Flag
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ITA. but if you read above posters they think that punishing the kid is fine, letting him know he disapointed you is not... which baffles me! teenagers really don't get when they're being irresponsible. you have to flat out tell them how stupid/dangerous their behavior is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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3rd speeding ticket, huh? well it sounds like his parenting is working like a charm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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I have a 13 yo and I think what your dh said to ds is just fine. It's nothing heavy or serious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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^^I mean the comment isn't that serious, like the way many posters above are saying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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ITA! I would have been a lot harsher. someone needs to have their licence pulled, and needs to get a job to pay for those tickets. totally unacceptable. and I have teenagers too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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ITTTAAA and will prob use this line with teenage dd this week! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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i love it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.23.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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