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05.22.08, 10:50 AM Special Needs
27 replies
Okay sn moms when I posted this to toddler everyone thought I was overreacting. WDYT? My ds was scratched in the face by a very delayed 3 yo with very little language today. For full disclosure I have a sn older ds. The mom was not there. I am a little frustrated that she doesn't really do enough intervention for him and then leaves him for others to watch. Do I tell her that her ds scratched my son? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Special Needs 05.22.08, 10:50 AM Flag
 

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Where was this, at the playground? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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playgroup at someone's home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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i don't think you can say anything unfortunately. It's just how some moms are. They are more hands off. i'm currently frustrated with my good friend who doesn't intervene AT ALL with her sons, who are very aggressive. She thinks they should work it out. Drives me crazy, but there is no telling her, she thinks her ways is right and that I'm too hands on. I want to ask her how it's working for her, since her kids are always aggressive, but I bite my tongue. Instead I just don't get together with her as often. I'm not a sn mom btw, but I'm a speech therapist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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or: realized I didn't answer your question. i would say to her that he scratched your child, but I wouldn't expect anything back from her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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I think you just really need to watch your kid around this other child, intervene if anything is about to happen in the future. If you go back now and make an issue of her dc scratching your ds, you are doing it for other reasons. You are trying to teach her a lesson, make an example of her kid because you don't like how she is handling (or not handling) her child's SN. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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This is true. I don't like it. He is a very delayed, aggressive child. All the other moms were there and she takes off to Staples. I made a point of telling my son around the other moms that this child was not a good playmate and that he should not go over and play with him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Well that is very sad that you are punishing this special needs child because his mom is a ditz. You sound very, very petty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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How exactly am I punishing him? And just bc it seems to be important on her I too am the mom of a sn child. She however i don't believe wants that label. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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"I made a point of telling my son around the other moms that this child was not a good playmate and that he should not go over and play with him." Hmm...seems to me that you are trying to launch a campaign against this kid to turn opinion against him. I agree that the mom shouldn't leave her child and run off to Staples. You don't point out loudly to your kid in front others that the child is not a good playmate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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np: you sound like you are scorning him in front of the others by saying he is not a good playmate. Instead you should try to help the kids find ways to play nicely together. This should happen regardless of how the mom is. Your child is going to run into tough situations, help him to dissolve the situation and not make the other kid feel bad for his challenges. Have some empathy, the kid's mom is not helping him, maybe you can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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No, I told this to my child not to the other little boy. I have to say that I, as the mom of a sn child who gets full intervention, am actually apauled that this mom does not "get it". She doesn't get this child the intervention he needs and assumes he's okay in a group. Then expects the other moms to intervene. Sorry, but i don't have that kind of patience and it is not up to me to raise her child. I've done what I could to point out resources to her and she is not getting it. This is very frustrating to me whether you think I have empathy or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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its none of your business what this mom is doing outside of playgroup- but the playgroup itself can say whether its a bad idea for her to leave her kid at the group without her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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Okay. You're frustrated with HER. That's fine. Why did you not point out the scratch to her right after she returned from Staples. Calling the kid out in front of other moms does NOTHING except turn opinion against the child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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I get what you are saying. I meant only empathy towards the child b/c his mom is an idiot. I would be extremely frustrated also, but there are so many people who just don't do enough for their loved ones. Don't let it bother you too much. You tried, that's all you can do. I'm sorry if my post sound harsh, I'm sure you are a great mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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but you said it around the other moms. how do you know that the other kids didn't hear it? not good, mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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WOW, I would have been heartbroken if anyone ever said that about my DS when he was having his difficulties. Instead, the moms at his preschool were so patient. They continued to have playdates w/ my DS because they knew he needed the practice. :-( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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ditto. Don't take your anger at the mother out on the child [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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ita- you sound like you are blaming the child by putting it this way. And it doesnt matter at all if you have a SN child yourself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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Sometimes I think we SN moms are the worst, anytime any kid is a bit "behavioral" we cry ISSUES INTERVENTION!!!! Well, I have two kids and my completely NT, social DD sometimes hits! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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yep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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then the mom should be told not to leave her kid with all of you- that he needs her help while at the grp [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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exactly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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not rocket science [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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WHOA - you singled out this boy in front of the other moms??? And you are a sn mom? I find this totally reprehensible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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you know what? stuff it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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how about OP stuffs it the next time she feels the urge to pick on a CHILD, to single out that child in front of a roomful of people, you have to be kidding me if you think that is appropriate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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Only if you want her never to speak with you again [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 03:11 PM Flag
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