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05.22.08, 09:38 AM Toddler
6 replies
i dont know what to do anymore with my 4.6yo and almost 3yo dds. If I leave them in the room alone for more that 5 min, they are bound to disagree on something to a point of screaming and pulling/pushing. What am I supposed to do. First I dont want either one getting hurt from pulling/pushing and second I dont want them growing up thinking its ok to argue all the time. i am so confused on how to handle it. any advice welcome. tia [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 05.22.08, 09:38 AM Flag
 

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i think trying to take a heavy hand is the right thing. some will say let them work it out, but i grew up in a fighting family where my parents didn't get involved, and i dont' think that's right. i think you need to give them consequences- don't take sides, just say, if you fight, you will each lose a privelege, and just keep taking priv. away until they figure out not to fight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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i do that already. i give both timeouts. Remove both from the situation. They will care for that moment and then next time it starts again. This has been like this for a while and its really frustrating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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Read Siblings without Rivalry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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have you read it? did it help? can you give me an example. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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leave them alone for shorter periods; remind them before you walk away not to fight; praise them and reward if they DO manage to work something out appropriately. Most of all, model good negotiating and arguing with DH -- no yelling! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:52 AM Flag
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My dds are slightly younger but I do get involved but not in the sense of "taking sides" or doling out punishments. I come in and ask what's going on and then ask them how we can work it out. I will suggest the older one find something to "trade" with her younger sister if they are fighting over an object. If one of them didn't respect something that the other child was seriously playing/working with, I will intervene and reinforce that they both have to be respectful of that. I help them "work it out" by helping them decide on a compromise. If they are too upset or not willing to do that then they both get "time outs" to settle down and then figure it out later when they have calmed down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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