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05.22.08, 08:39 AM General Topics
40 replies
Is 41 yr old lawyer mom on? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.22.08, 08:39 AM Flag
 

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Yep! And great you've changed from "41 year dating mom". Sounds better. How are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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Good but please let me first apologize for calling you dating mom. I feel like a total snook. The only reason I put it this way was to differentiate from anyone else who might be 41 and on the board. You are absolutely above that moniker. Ah, my conscience is now better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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Thanks -- but I didn't really take it that seriously. Just sounded weird, but I guess it is after all true. Funny though because the only dates I have actually been on are those with the man I was originally talking about - not really playing the field [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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That's why I like chatting with you, you're smart! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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From my response, what makes me seem smart? Not taking things seriously or not playing the field? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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Both. Who needs the aggravation. I have this convoluted theory that dating works for people who don't date. Think about it, the minute you are not looking for someone,,,,, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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I agree -- life is what happens when you are busy making other plans... I think people who date a lot tend to miss the oat a bit -- they seem to make lists and do comparative analyses, rather than go on feelings [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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boat, not oat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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And wind up miserable because they are neurotic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:19 AM Flag
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Just saw this -- so true!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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Anything new on the dating front for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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Yes, I think I mentioned that a 2 1/2 year relationship ended in December and I have been taking a break from human contact. Anyway, a friend of mine set me up with a friend ... here we go again. We spoke on the phone a couple of times and met for lunch yesterday. She seems very nice and ended lunch saying "call me". I am probably the world's most relaxed dater. Are you still in contact with the man you were dating? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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OK, this is great. To me, your lunch sounds very promising -- you describe her as "very nice" and maybe you appreciated the "call me". Are you excited to see her again? For me, I have not been in contact with him, but am really considering asking him if he would like to go out (for fun) for drinks or dinner. I would be very sincere in saying to him that I really like spending time with him (and would not let him know that I miss him terribly). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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I would like to see her again. She is insanely easy to talk to, which we both agree is a top dating requirement. Your second question is a tough one to answer but here is my experience and take on your situation: I have had no contact with my ex-girlfriend except a quick birthday email saying that I hope she is doing well. There are any number of reasons but I believe that sometimes a person needs to move on and live in the present. I feel so badly for you that you miss him so much. He sounds like a nice guy but I wouldn't want you to feel even worse. If a man wants to spend time with a woman, he will call. And I think that someone can be more passionate about someone they went out with for six months than a few years. Please, just don't go into it thinking he had a change of heart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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"Insanely easy to talk to" -- you sound like me! It really is the number one requirement -- I think people who get caught up in all the other stuff, forget that talking to someone and loving what they say is what it is about (and the people you connect with on that level are the people you miss). Wow -- fabulous point about the 6 months -- I had not thought about that. We left each other (or, he left me) at the height of that period of intense passion -- we had not had time to go to that really comfortable level, say after a year or so and were still always touching, kissing. I really had not thought of the 6 monts idea, but that is probably one reason why I miss him (well, in the way I miss him) so much. I also know you are right about a man calling, just hard when you care a lot. I won't contact him. When we first spoke, you said you were familiar with loving someone you are not with -- was that the ex-girlfriend? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:21 AM Flag
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your message got cut off a little, but I always used the barometer that anything over six months is long term because by then you have told all your "stories", hit you favorite hangouts, etc. and your history with each other and ability to think up new things to see and do is dependent on each other. Also, let's face it, that intense passion cannot last forever. It is part of the newness. Your point about connection is so right. I was in love with someone before I met my ex-wife and we would just into the hours of the night about everything and anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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Question: where did you go to college and law school? Me - undergrad Michigan, business school NYU. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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This will definitely out me -- but maybe noone is paying attention but you -- undergrad Wisconsin, law school Cornell, then Masters in Economics at LSE [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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Another Big 10 graduate??? This is getting scary! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:36 AM Flag
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It is -- and I loved it there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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forgot the word "talk into the hours of the night". Could have gotten in trouble with this omission! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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Ah, you answered my question that must have gotten cut off. I had asked about when we first started talking you said you were familiar with loving someone you are not with -- I guess it was the woman you were in love with before you met your ex-wife. What happened? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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Don't remember exactly what I wrote back then but the story is, we were absolutely crazy about each other and we were the first bf/gf for each other after graduating college and living in NYC. We toured the city and did EVERYTHING. Anyway, I went to LA to work for a summer and when I got back it was never the same. She said she never saw my happier than when I was out there and said that she did not think longer term it would work out - talk about getting your heart splattered all over Park Ave. Out of curiosity, I Googled her and it turns out she is divorced with 3 kids. I have no desire to contact here but hope in some way she knows how special she was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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Wow, she is single. I think that btdt is a recipe for disaster, but you don't have late night thoughts about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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Not in the least. It took me a couple of years to realize that she was right. I have nothing but good wishes for her. Again, I believe in living in the present. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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Very wise, intelligent. Clearly the Big ten in you (I am a big fan of those schools). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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Maybe your sentence with the omission is true as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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My omission was somewhere along the line of please don't put yourself in a position to feel disappointed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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Thank you -- I think this one will take some time for me to get over. The connection was amazing, he made me very happy. So what happened in your marriage? You seem to have the right philosophical way of looking at things? What went wrong? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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Met ex-wife at work. She had three miscarriages before daugther came along. She then became addicted to prescription drugs and was taking up to eight different pills at a time. I need to tell you something else, it is difficult for me to not see my daughter every day. This is not the way I wanted things to turn out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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I am sorry about your relationship -- this must have been hard to watch. I am also very sorry about the time with your daughter, however, I am glad you told me how you feel about this. My ex was and is almost completely disinterested in his children, from the day they were born. I am still in disbelief about this -- children are the most important things in our lives, nothing compares, and his neglect is sad and painful. That is another reason I don't date much -- time away from the children for just a date is not worth it. When I do encounter potential dates -- either online or otherwise -- I highly value how they approach fatherhood and if they cherish it, if not we would just not connect. I am sorry again about your situation, but I am sure your daughter values the time she has with you, as you do -- the time away doesn't take away from her love for you as a father. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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Your message got cut off. Dou you want to keep chatting some other time? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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OMG -- I didn't realize how late it was. When is good for you? The reason UB is good for me is that it is not blocked at work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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Do you go online when the kids are asleep or is work time better? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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I can -- usually try to get them down by 9 or so, then clean up until 10. Is that too late? Otherwise work around lunch is fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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I'll send something out around 10 tonight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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you two should get together and smooch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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Remember the six-month yardstick! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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Oops. dropped this in wrong place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.22.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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