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05.21.08, 19:17 PM General Topics
35 replies
We live well below our means, as HHI is decent, and I have a trust fund that is sizable. Decided to send 2 dcs to public G&T. They will have access to a trust fund at age 25 that could allow them to live without working ever. We have decided not to tell them about it until then. We also decided to go public at least for the early years in order to help them stay grounded, and to avoid exposure to too much privilege. I want them to think about careers and achievement before they know they will be welll off. My sister thinks this is all wrong. Wondering if others care to weigh in. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.21.08, 07:17 PM Flag
 

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the bad thing is that your dcs may find out from others about their $ situation and might be distrustful of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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doesnt sound like a bad idea. care to share where the $ came from? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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my grandparents. set up trusts of this sort for all dcs, grand dcs and their dcs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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After 18 you won't be able to hide it from them. Legally they will be given notice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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and just who do you think we be giving notice? Will the govt come up and knock on their door and say, here is your trust fund statement for 20M? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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LOL. Don't know much about trusts do you? It is mailed to their legal address. Its the trustees duty. Sure, I guess parents could try and hide it; but that seems wrong [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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op: we will not hide it once they are adults, but they will not have access until age 25. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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Thats different. I thought that suddenly at 25 you would say "surprise"! I wouldn't tell them until they are 18 either FWIW [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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Sounds like a great plan to me. What is sister's objection? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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I think it's not a bad idea except for the public school thing. I think in most cases, private is a much better education. Unless you have a great school in your district - and I mean really great - I would find a school that would give them a great education. That is really important in my book [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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you are brainwashed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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why do you say that? In my experience and going by test scores, most of the time private schools are better. And they are not all full of spoiled entitled kids either. Don't believe stereotypes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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lol. Plenty of smart successful people went to regular, not even "great," public schools. Success is from within [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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OR ITA with that but if she can afford it, why not give them every possible advantage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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If you can give a good public school experience, why not? Where I live, the public schools are excellent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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well that's great then but many many are not. I am not saying she should not send hers there - just that she should be really careful that they are actually good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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So they don't become spoiled bratty entitled obnoxious dolts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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do you seriously think that everyone who goes to private school turns out that way? Really? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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they are in a very good selective public, and doing very well. May not stay public forever, but I like it and dcs are thriving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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in that case, keep it up. I would be very watchful though and make sure your schools really are doing the best possible job. I know they vary greatly but where I live (atlanta) public schools - even the better ones - are pretty bad [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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the point of public is to teach them to achieve by their own steam, and to grow up with people with more socioeconomic diversity than at private school. also, we like the vibe. if it stops meeting educational objectives we will look for another option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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and again - that's fine if it's working for you. There are plenty of private schools that have all sorts of diversity though and many in some areas of the country also give a better education. If you are happy with where they are though good for you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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bad idea. this is similar to what happened to me. if i knew, I would've went to school for something I really enjoyed. I would have devoted my career with helping others and working non profit. instead I went to law school because it would provide me with a decent living. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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but you could always switch and the law school experience will serve you in the role [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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only problem is that I hate it and wont do it if I didnt need to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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Rich kids in non-profit jobs are the most pathetic people I have encountered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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well, I didnt grow up "rich". I think im pretty grounded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Are you joking? They want to work somewhere altruistic and thats "the most pathetic" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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huh? I'll bet if they have good careers, you get all jealous and talk about evil rich people. Some people just can't be pleased [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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what is wrong with you? someone's gotta do non-profit. why not someone who can afford it and not quit because they need more money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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I could not agree more. would not want kids to grow up to do this if I had a say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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would've gonel devoted to [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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We're in a similar position. DC stand to inherit quite a bit of money from dh's family(They're gifting 12k a yr per dc also). We do okay and want dc to learn to live at our means or improve them, before they get their money. We live in a non-trendy Brooklyn neighborhood, oldest dc goes to public school and we volunteer with children in a battered women's shelter so she has a chance to see people that really don't have many material things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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Think you are smart to do this. We met a private school K student at park today with his goofy polo sneakers, shorts that resembled knee pants and little argyle vest over a polo. He looked really vulnerable and had a really big mouth, poor little chap. The other boys wouldn't play with him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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I don't know what the best approach is. I know a family with billions and they were all raised very don to earth. None of the kids knew how much they were getting until sometime in their 20's. The older kids did fine but the youngest dd went nuts. The first words out of her mouth were "You mean I am richer than Paris Hilton?" and she was off....she is now in rehab for serious coke problems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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