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05.21.08, 17:55 PM General Topics
24 replies
Anyone on who has been through a divorce?? I am in the middle of it and it is just so hard... when does it get better? I am hoping I will feel better when the legal part is over.. but the problem is that it seems to go on forever. any btdts? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.21.08, 05:55 PM Flag
 

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well I haven't but I was reflecting on my parents' divorce today. I'm 40 and I still feel the effects. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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wow... I just can't believe how hard this has been... how old were you when your parents divorced? my dh left when my db turned 6 months old [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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my sister and I were in high school, but I've discovered there's no "good" time to divorce. I hope you will feel closure when the legal part is over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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np: I agree, there is no "good" time. What I think is most important is putting the kids first and interacting as well as you can w/your ex. My parents divorced when I was just out of college, and I wish they'd done it earlier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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Ugh! How old is baby now? Does dad see him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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baby is 20 months and he sees him once a week for 5 to 6 hours... he started thi schedule when he turned 1yr. however, he is planning on spending the summer weekends in teh hamptons [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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When will he see the baby??? Do you have supports (friends/family/boyfriend?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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family is out of state, no boyfriend, have friends.. but I can only lean on them so much. it is really hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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he thinks he will see him during a weekday.. but I don't know for how many hours since he works. he said he will be gone thursday through sunday every week [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:04 PM Flag
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so sorry. what is the hardest? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:04 PM Flag
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really raising my baby alone and at the same time having to deal with my husband who is really troubled. I am exhausted and scared about the future. I wish my family lived closer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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Could you move to be closer to them? Is ex dh mentally ill or more of a jerk? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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he is both... I can't move out of state b/c of legal reasons (can't take db out of state). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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I hope it gets better soon. It sounds like you are a strong woman and will find your way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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thanks so much for saying that... I haven't felt very strong recently. I think it is just that I am dealing with so much that I have never felt this worn down. again, thanks for saying that... I am going to try and remember that I can be strong [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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ok strong lady! Logging off here . goodnight! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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that stinks that he just leaves for the summer.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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Been through one (w/no dcs) and getting ready to go through second (2 dcs). Never in a million years thought I would do this once, let alone twice. It will get easier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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can you tell me when it gets easier? so sorry you have to go through it again. what do you think is helpful in making it less devastating and stressful? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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My first ex wanted nothing to do w/me after we separated (I think it hurt him so much he wanted to get over it as soon as possible) so I had very little contact w/him--he signed off and didn't even show up at hearing. Since no dcs haven't seen him since and that was 10 yrs ago. Second dh is a great guy and we have worked out a lot of stuff in the course of separating so we are working together really well. I think you can't be too hard on yourself--whatever the problems/issues were, you can't go back and change the decisions you made, just learn from them for the future. If all you can do some days is take care of yourself and db, that's enough. Find little things to do for yourself--hot bath, glass of wine, time alone while db is with sitter. It will get easier when the legal piece is done but b/c you have a dc you will always have some involvement w/your ex. If you are having trouble w/this, find someone to talk with about how to make it easier--friends, counselor, divorced parents group. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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from watching my mom and listening to others, the legal part does seem to drag on. One party (the mean one) always seems to wait out the other and make life miserable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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my parents are going through a divorce now and it is a horrible, lenghty process. I am so sorry. How old are your dcs? I don't care what people say, it's difficult for the kids even as an adult. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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np: It's always difficult for everybody in some ways but the more you can get along w/your ex and put your kids first the easier it will be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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i haven't been through it, though friends have. you might want to check out firstwivesworld.com -- a site for women going through divorce. good luck to you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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