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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Teachers aren't going to teach this fall. https://www.dallasnews.com/news/public-health/2020/06/30/coronavirus-cases-in-texas-daycare-centers-continue-to-rise-after-recent-spike/?fbclid=IwAR37ZYKa4rNkL2EVH_q40QtTM0XmyABpO4B950mEcVPC17YD3_lfTZmOY18 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:13 PM Flag
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I can’t wait to get into my classroom. This has gotten me into a funk. I posted below [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:18 PM Flag
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:18 PM Flag
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:18 PM Flag
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:19 PM Flag
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smh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:24 PM Flag
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Have you looked at the news lately? The virus doesn't know city boundaries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:27 PM Flag
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a story about the virus spreading rampantly largely in suburbs represents why your friends moved out of a large city? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:30 PM Flag
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haha, right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:32 PM Flag
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Seriously! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:43 PM Flag
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We rented in a burb for a month and I am feeling more isolated here now than in NYC. I could go out and be among other people. Go run or bike in the park with hundreds of others. Here I feel more isolated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:46 PM Flag
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Texas? really? you can't use Texas as a measure for anything in NYC. How about the NYC studies that show there hasn't been any rise from the school/care that has been provided for emergency care workers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:24 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:25 PM Flag
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This is a dumb example. It's Texas where people didn't believe in the coronavirus and did stupid things. Of course they are having a spike in cases but it has nothing to do with what is happening locally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:35 PM Flag
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:42 PM Flag
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This is an unfounded, over simplified blanket assumption and opinion. I hope NYC is fine with no relapse or spike as things open up. But reading the posts about camp and vacation ideas seems like there will be eventual uptick as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:57 PM Flag
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Why do't you post the NPR article about how the YMCA here in NYC took care of the essential workers of NYC and had zero-zero-zero transmission of covid amongst the kids? You can't trust Texas. One great thong the daycare workers did was put a stamp on the hands of the kids and it was a game when the kids washed their hands to make sure it was off. I'll find the article [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:10 PM Flag
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here it is ----->. https://www.npr.org/2020/06/24/882316641/what-parents-can-learn-from-child-care-centers-that-stayed-open-during-lockdowns [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:10 PM Flag
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Who knows what’s going to happen in the fall. Texas, California and Arizona are spiking. Mexico is spiking bad too. The US is restricting seasonal migrant workers for farming and harvest season. We may not have school and veggies come September. There’s no one universal best approach, one size does not fit all. What works in NY might not work in Montana, etc. The shit is hitting the collective fan and I don’t think anyone in any country can take a victory lap just yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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Texas teachers are looking at striking over having to go back. And legally, they aren't allowed to strike. But, I think they finally figured out that there aren't tens of thousands of other qualified people ready and waiting to teach. I expect the same thing to happen in NYC and Chicago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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First of all, even if school is remote, teachers will still be teaching. Secondly, if we don't do stupid things like Texas, hopefully we will be able to reopen. This article in the Globe explained it well: we have to choose how we spend our "risk" as a community, and schools can only open if we reduce the risk in other areas: https://www.bostonglobe.com/2020/06/26/nation/reopening-schools-scientists-say-proceed-with-caution/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:28 PM Flag
[ - ] I feel so down. I need to get back to normalcy. I need routine. I am off from work for the summer. Please give me tips to help me. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:03 PM Flag
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Op- I am considering part time work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:05 PM Flag
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We are at our beach house. We have been here since mid March. I told DH that I want to go back to the city. I am so lonely. He has worked through this all. Being out here proves to me that I am not cut out for the suburbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:08 PM Flag
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I am in the city and lonely. At least you have outdoor space and a beach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:21 PM Flag
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Op- I miss being around people. I miss seeing crowds. I am not meant to be in the suburbs. There are few people around me. I know I sound whiny. DH has his practice on the island so staying here since March made sense as I taught remotely. I have had enough:( I miss the city. We all may complain about it, but we love all love it deep down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:26 PM Flag
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Same here. I can't seem to come. up with much of a routine but I'm learning that if I do my little run and my little workout video every day then things are MUCH better. Also really helps to write down a checklist so that one or two real things get done each day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:25 PM Flag
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+1 Exercise makes such a difference in my day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:28 PM Flag
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Create structure by getting up, showering and getting dressed, having a daily zoom yoga class (for example). Focus on others. If we are not sick or worried about money we are hugely lucky. Research where you want to give donations. Get a zoom therapist to speak to if needed. It is natural to be down and feel powerless, and hate the isolation. But we need to find new ways to foster fortitude for the long haul with this virus. I am trying to make decisions based on helping other economically (ie masks work so wearing them will help not just medically but to bring back the economy; big backyard bbq doesn’t serve the larger good so I wouldn’t try to justify it, etc). Perhaps it is time to extend your pod cautiously to one like-minded family? Hope these suggestions might help. Hang in there !! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:38 PM Flag
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Op- thank you for your thoughtful response. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:20 PM Flag
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academic with summers unpaid but not "off": get up early, run, write for 4-5 hours, or do the research I can with limited access to libraries; lunch, afternoon reading; dinner. Some email, then one hour of tv unless weekend movie. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:46 PM Flag
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I'm off too - I started listening to side hustle school every day for a like an hour - hoping to start my own education related side hustle - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you think the Canadian border will open to the US this summer? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:42 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:44 PM Flag
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Ugh. I agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:45 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:49 PM Flag
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The overwhelming opinion I get from friends & family in Canada is that they don’t want it reopened until trump is out of office. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:23 PM Flag
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Can't blame them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:37 PM Flag
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They would be foolish to let Americans in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:05 PM Flag
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Can Canadians travel to the US? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 07:06 PM Flag
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Oh Canada. They have a small population in a huge country that is geographically isolated from impoverished or war torn nations and people (no jokes about the US). Their immigration point based system favors educated applicants and they accept a handful of applicants for citizenship. Even in the midst of coronavirus outbreak there were 20,000 apprehensions/encounters last month at the USMexico border. Canada benefits greatly from their geographical position and the buffer the US provides. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:50 PM Flag
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So when they say they don’t want us, what are they really saying? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:52 PM Flag
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SO they are saying we have a chance?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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yet no one calls them or Australia racist for putting their citizens first [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:52 PM Flag
[ - ] If you are middle class two parent working family with young school age kids n HCOL area, you have been SCREWED by COVID-19. No stimulus check, extra work with remote learning, stress of trying to do your job remotely. No wonder we all have been drinking so heavily. And yes, I understand life has been stressful for everyone else as well but the government has at least put a small helping hand out to you. You have my sympathy even more if you are essential worker. 95 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:16 PM Flag
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We have not ALL been drinking heavily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:22 PM Flag
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Calm down Debbie Downer!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:25 PM Flag
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np- It's a sign of the times that the person saying we haven't all been drinking heavily is the downer. (signed a heavy drinker) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:32 PM Flag
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OP: I meant it tongue in cheek but there is always one that has to take it literally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:58 PM Flag
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ITA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:46 PM Flag
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But how has it impacted you financially that a stimulus check would help? I bet you’ve saved money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:25 PM Flag
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np -- when you are middle class, of course it helps! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:28 PM Flag
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Or. Ok I guess I worded that poorly, of course money is always good. My point is that the op was not harmed financially by the current situation and probably has benefited financially even without a stimulus check [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:29 PM Flag
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OP: I worded my original post poorly because I wasn't actually talking about me personally. But the fact people can't understand there a middle class people out there struggling are the same people wondering why parents want to send their kids to an "unsafe" school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:17 PM Flag
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But couples with HHI under $199K DID get checks. If you're making $200K+, you're not middle class. You may have to do things like nix the fancy private ballet lessons and not eat out as much, but it's not like you're not going to be able to make rent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:52 PM Flag
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OP: Its not just money. It's the day to day quality of life. 2 working parent family with kids is not in the same situation as unemployed, SAHP, single household. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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Of course - we're all struggling with that. But take it from me, the stim check didn't help that one bit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:22 PM Flag
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So one of you quit your job, you will still be better off than the majority of the population. Cry me a river when you have a real problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 07:29 PM Flag
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At the start of Covid we had a HHI of 45k once DH lost his job. No check because of previous years income. Unemployment supplement will soon run out and he still has found a job, and he isn’t sitting back and taking the money instead of working as Republicans would have you believe! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:15 PM Flag
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That SUCKS. Hope he finds something soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:23 PM Flag
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You are us. DH lost his job immediately (March 10) and he was the breadwinner, so we are now down to my salary of 55k and have just about run through our savings, so once the unemployment supplement runs out we will have to explain to our landlord why we can't pay rent and hope for a lease renewal anyway. I get we can't be evicted *yet* but it's a pretty shitty feeling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 03:15 AM Flag
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My family makes about 160K a year and we got checks. Socked it away for college for our kids. We're doing better during Covid than we normally do. Our costs have been cut in half, our kids are thriving, and we're enjoying our life. And honestly I think we shouldn't have qualified for that money. People with incomes under about 75KHHI should be the only ones getting that money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:49 PM Flag
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I disagree. It should be for people who lost their jobs or people making small amounts of money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:32 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 03:59 AM Flag
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OP: Did we? Because I kept paying my daycare, ballet classes, hairstylist, eating out to help restraunts. We saved some money but my quarantine hasn't been Netflix and Chill. It's been the exact opposite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:29 PM Flag
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You paid your hairstylist? If you spent the same eating out to “help” that’s on you and pretty ridiculous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:30 PM Flag
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This - eating out to help is a wonderful thought, but it's not a middle class behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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OP: You didn't order from a local restaurant to help make sure they can stay in business. I'm not talking every night but we do order occasionally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:54 PM Flag
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Did you order in less than you normally eat out? I’m guessing yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:55 PM Flag
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OP: No, we probably order the same. It's more...do you feel like cooking dinner/yes/no. I'm not talking expensive meals. I have two kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:00 PM Flag
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Well maybe that’s why you are staying middle class if making choices like that. I don’t know anyone whose spending on eating “out” stayed the same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:02 PM Flag
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OP: I don't think ordering Chinese every two weeks is breaking the bank but okay... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:07 PM Flag
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But that’s all you do normally? You don’t grab lunch, get coffee, popcorn are the movies? You’re being evasive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:09 PM Flag
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OP: Actually no for me personally. My husbands expenses have gone down however...Not being evasive. Usually bring lunch...(on diet)...office has coffee and I have two kids...last movie I saw were kiddy movies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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NP: I ordered out occasionally during lockdown, but maybe once every other week tops. Still massive savings versus "normal times" where we're out grabbing coffees here and there on our way to work, snacks after practices, etc. and eating out/getting takeout more regularly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:59 PM Flag
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This. Op is absurd. Should be grateful she was able to stay home without financial repercussions and stay safe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:00 PM Flag
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OP: Again, not necessarily personally for me. I doubt a nurse married to a police officer is getting a stimulus check...Add in small kids and tell me again how grateful they should feel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:15 PM Flag
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Who is saying anyone should feel grateful?! This pandemic SUCKS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:24 PM Flag
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OP: Yes it does suck and I was saying hey people in this particular situation...I see you and think people have kind of ignored you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:29 PM Flag
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But they are both still fully employed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:26 PM Flag
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We lost income so yes, we did not order. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:47 PM Flag
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Exactly. That's the problem with people today - they think they are entitled to a kind of lifestyle they cannot actually afford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:03 PM Flag
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OP: First of all I'm NOT middle class. I wasn't actually talking about myself in terms of finances but I can see how a family on the cusp of 200k would be sitting around like...what about me. I can afford my lifestyle...Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:08 PM Flag
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BS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 04:01 AM Flag
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Why would you do this? I hope you didn't believe the fake UB "I keep paying everyone"...I paid my housekeeper 3 weeks, and that's about three weeks more than most people I know. And if you are feeling so screwed as to post here, your first priority is to your family, not to restaurants or your hairstylist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:34 PM Flag
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OP: I don't feel "screwed". I have zero regrets to continue paying daycare and ballet etc because it was the right thing to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:58 PM Flag
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So stop whining [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 07:32 PM Flag
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Maybe you didn't need ballet classes, hairstylists or eating out to begin with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:02 PM Flag
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OP: LOL, you do understand I'm not taking ballet lessons. And yes, I actually need a hairstylist and I'm pretty low maintenance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:10 PM Flag
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You're not low maintenance if you need a hairstylist [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:25 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you white lady for telling me I don't need a hairstylist... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:30 PM Flag
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Who said I'm white? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:24 PM Flag
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No, of course the ballet classes aren't for you. Your KID doesn't need ballet classes. That's my point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:58 PM Flag
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+1. In lockdown we haven't had to pay for any of the basics like transit fares, new clothes/shoes, field trips, etc., and have done virtually none of the "extras" (dining out, going to plays, movies, buying birthday presents for random kids' parties, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:57 PM Flag
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This! I got over $1,000 in refunds just from shows being canceled that I had already bought tickets to. Plus the camp refund. We did get a streaming service, but it is less than one night out at the movies. Colored my own hair for $20. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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Same! I saved money on commuting, activities, housekeeping, Camps. I spent on a new printer and ink and paper but we saved a lot of money. I also had tickets to two Broadway shows and the NCAA tournament which were all cancelled [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:36 PM Flag
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I agree and relate 100% with what you're saying, but FYI - truly middle class parents got stimulus checks (we live in Brooklyn, HHI $149K). If you make more than $199K, sorry, but you are not middle class, even in a high COL city. But I get that your life is no less stressful in this time, and sucks for those in that income bracket who just recently lost income. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:27 PM Flag
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OP: Fair point but a lot of people at 200k with two small kids, mortgage, daycare aren't rolling in the money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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Of course they aren't... but if you're paying for daycare and ballet, you're still "stimulating" the economy (vs. trying to decide between groceries or rent) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:13 PM Flag
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OP: You do understand that essential workers (and two in the same household) didn't get a break from daycare. They had still find ways to make sure their kids were watched. The only reason I made the point of ballet, daycare, hairstylist is because those places still need an influx of cash while the government sorted itself out. People are taking it as a sign that I personally feel like I'm middle class. I'm not but I have sympathy for those who are in the weird middle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:20 PM Flag
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Are you in NYC and in public school? You'll be at least getting $420 per kid in the next month or two for groceries, regardless of income. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:32 PM Flag
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OP: No, not in NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:02 PM Flag
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You keep saying this but no where have I read or heard anything about this plan in the news. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:11 PM Flag
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This is the first time "I" have posted this, but if you google "NYC DOE EBT" you'll find plenty of links to details, like this one: www.nysenate.gov/newsroom/articles/2020/julia-salazar/money-groceries-coming-all-nyc-families [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:15 PM Flag
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Ok, just googled. this benefit is only for kids whose family would qualify for free/reduced lunch. People are making it sound like it is going to every NYC public school child. Not true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:29 PM Flag
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Everyone in NYC is getting it because everyone gets free lunch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:42 PM Flag
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Exactly - everyone in NYC public schools gets free lunch. Some kids in Charters and Privates do too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:06 PM Flag
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It's been all over. Our 2 schools email a few times about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:57 PM Flag
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I have barely been drinking. Feels too weird/gross when I'm sitting around all day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:33 PM Flag
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I get what you are saying--I don't make a high salary, but because I file jointly with DH, I didn't get a check (even though I have DCs). My coworker with an identical salary lives with a high paying DH, and no children, but because she files separately got a check. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:34 PM Flag
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So true. I have gone back to the office which has been great for my sanity but DH is not coping well with being the one at home [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:35 PM Flag
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A lot of companies got govt money, so that may have helped people keep their jobs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:36 PM Flag
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I work for the government and they may run out of money to pay me my middle class salary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:39 PM Flag
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OP: I can assure you my company got exactly zero dollars from the government. This isn't about money. It's about this silent group who has been shouldering a lot of the work to keep this country going quietly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:55 PM Flag
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Oh oh the silent majority lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:59 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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I would not describe middle-class parents who are wfh while kids learn online as having been silent about their struggles [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 10:00 PM Flag
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how are we defining middle class? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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OP: UB middle class. (I'm kidding) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:04 PM Flag
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You're not though - stimulus checks were sent to married-filing-jointly couples who earn $199K or less (full amount to those under $150K, smaller amounts were given to those earning $150-199K). So in this case, while $200K in NYC might not feel particularly "wealthy" most folks in that bracket probably aren't worried about deciding between paying housing costs and buying groceries this month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:17 PM Flag
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You're not though - stimulus checks were sent to married-filing-jointly couples who earn $199K or less (full amount to those under $150K, smaller amounts were given to those earning $150-199K). So in this case, while $200K in NYC might not feel particularly "wealthy" most folks in that bracket probably aren't worried about deciding between paying housing costs and buying groceries this month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:17 PM Flag
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So you're thinking those with joint income of $200k and below? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:41 PM Flag
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See, you have ballet classes, dining out, and hairstylist among your regular expenses. When you see this, it's hard to sympathize that you "have" to work two incomes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:04 PM Flag
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+1000 Needs and wants get conflated quite a bit. This is what leads people to feel "poor" on 600K incomes or cry that they want to SAH for a couple years but "can't". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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OP: No one is poor on 600K...That's some old school UB thinking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:21 PM Flag
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OP: I'm not middle class but I can have empathy to those that are middle class. And when is ballet classes and dining out some sign of great wealth. If you can't afford those things...you probably aren't middle class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:14 PM Flag
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Ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 07:05 PM Flag
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If you run the numbers and it's not in affordability after normal expenses, but you think you should have them, it's entitlement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:59 PM Flag
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Ummm, since wages stagnated, college costs and housing got ridiculously expense -- that's when. Welcome to 2020. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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I agree w OP.... People keep stretching what middle class means, but a few activities should fit in a middle class budget. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 10:07 PM Flag
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+100000000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:20 PM Flag
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Agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:38 PM Flag
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I don't agree. If you kept your job, you are lucky. Heck, I lost my job, and my DH's income was cut in half, so we went from $360k last year to $120k this year, and I still feel lucky. And we have 2 kids and live in NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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We are in the very slim gap where we are just above the cut off for the stimulus check, so if we had a lower income, we would have made more money. We're still so fortunate, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:09 PM Flag
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It phased out from $150-200k, so it’s not like you would’ve got the full amount. Not that it reallly helps but at least you didn’t miss getting the full amount because you made $100 too much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 04:05 AM Flag
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Oh, exactly, and it is on that scale. Like we would have been a couple hundred ahead if we made slightly less. Certainly wouldn't have affected anything. It is just amused me that we were in that tiny sliver. I know how fortunate we are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 04:20 PM Flag
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They used last year's taxes if you hadn't filed this year's at that point, but DH filed early. We would have qualified with last year's, but didn't with this year's. So we were penalize for being on top of things (for once in our lives!) It is all fine, and clearly we're OK. But that will teach us to be on the ball! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.02.20, 04:22 PM Flag
[ - ] What advice would you give to a DC who is driven, hardworking and talented, but often gets overlooked by teachers/coaches in favor of more outgoing kids? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:00 PM Flag
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I think it will be fine in the long run if they continue to work hard. Why does it matter if teachers notice them. I can understand coaches. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:08 PM Flag
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Find ways to promote themselves, even if it isn't overt or in front of the whole team/class. Things like sending a video or work sample of something they did independently to the teacher or coach directly. Not to fish for complements, but just like, "Wanted to share something I've been working on. Thanks for the help/advice." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:19 PM Flag
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*compliments [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:19 PM Flag
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I was that kid growing up, and I raised one of them too. We are both very introverted and tend to underplay our strengths. The drive, hardwork and talent will always serve him/her well, but I think it is good for their confidence to be noticed as well. What I'd tell your child is they need to do one small thing to speak up/get noticed in their classes and practices--try to say one thing each time in class, try to ask coach about something during practice; just one small thing. It gets easier and easier. My DS now speaks up at college, approached professors about doing research, and has now established ongoing relationships with professors and TA'd classes. Baby steps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:20 PM Flag
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prof here and I never know what to do with the kid who barely speaks in class and then offers something insignificant to a discussion. I was once very shy as a kid but knew how to perform in a classroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 08:04 PM Flag
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Teach dc to talk about all that he/she has done. It’s not enough to do the work. You have to talk about it constantly to decision makers - teachers coaches later boss [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:31 PM Flag
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I agree with this. As one of these kids too I only recently wrote my first email outlining some accomplishments in a certain field and I couldn't believe how foreign the feeling of doing so was. Hugely wish I had learned this earlier- might now be that badass mom complaining about her husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:37 PM Flag
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Only do this if it suits your family and DC's personality. I find self-promotion so obnoxious and look for quiet, driven, overlooked types who do not need a lot of reinforcement to do well. I see the behavior as a sign of internal drive and motivation that outperforms in the long run. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:11 PM Flag
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Unfortunately, this type of person tends to end up like that in the corporate world too. I would help that kid talk about self-promoting. It's hard though, because some people naturally have it, and others are just not built that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:53 PM Flag
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This will not be a popular opinion -- but the more we fight for equality and less for meritocracy, the more the ones who are above-average will be overlooked because they are "fine". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:01 PM Flag
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Wish I knew. DD is an A student but rarely speaks in class according to her teachers and refuses to speak during group discussions. Not an assertive bone in her body. I'm trying to encourage but she's very resistant. Sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:16 PM Flag
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Is she anxious? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:56 PM Flag
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I’m not sure if you want comforting words or actual advice. So much of society is based on rewarding those who play the game well or are great self-promoters, as opposed those who work hard or produce quality output (although some lucky people are both). If DC is really young, and “outgoing” is code for “badly behaved”, I found that this phase wore off and teachers do start to notice talented hard workers soon. If older, it’s time to start guiding them toward one or two things: become better at promoting themselves or seek out opportunities that reward people solely on merit/quantitatively measured output. If they’re into sports, seek out ones that reward the best times and output, like swimming, track, or rowing. If they’re into music, they should move to instruments that are less common and more needed (bassoon, French horn). Etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Hope I am not jinxing saying this but here goes. Week 1 of day camp and my kids are almost back to their normal selves. It’s amazing how much happier they are. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:56 PM Flag
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Where? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:59 PM Flag
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Burbs, small private club. It’s not sleepaway camp for sure, but it’s something to do, it’s outdoors, and finally they are interacting with other kids - and nice ones at that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:02 PM Flag
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It's funny, I was thinking the opposite. They still whine, complain, and have bad moods. (my kids were fairly normal during shelter in place, and still are). I thought to myself this morning that nothing is a panacea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:00 PM Flag
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OP: well mine were cooped up in an apartment so this is big for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:08 PM Flag
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I didn't mean to be down on your post. I'm happy for your kids and happy for mine to be with kids. I was just commenting that the old worries don't suddenly disappear [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:07 PM Flag
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Son super happy to be out of the house. Daughter having rougher adjustment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:08 PM Flag
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Happy for you and them! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:26 PM Flag
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so happy for you! mine need this... but we can't really afford it till dh gets. job. one ds is just a BALL of rage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:37 PM Flag
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Uggh I am sorry. Club costs a lot but the day camp compared to others is much cheaper (and also not as fancy). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 09:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone feel they are feeling somewhat better? Or still at rock bottom since this began?... 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:48 PM Flag
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I'm feeling better. When I think about the future, I get extremely anxious. When I think about today, I'm ok. Day to day, yes, there's other things I would rather be doing, but, ignoring these lost experiences, we are ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:53 PM Flag
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That’s a good attitude. Not focusing on what we can’t control. I have to weight that against contingency planning though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:53 PM Flag
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Honestly, I'm all about contingency planning, but at this point I'm looking to plan to "be ok" versus my normal planning which is focused on, for lack of a better term, optimizing. Meaning, normally, I try to figure out the best options for school, work, etc. Now, I'm just focusing on making sure we have good enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:59 PM Flag
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np- This helps me. I have been obsessively contingency planning to try to make this next year the best it can be and it was making me insane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:28 PM Flag
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Now I'm getting mad. The rest of the developed world got this under control and is ready to reopen. We've got many more months of closures or an unacceptably high death rate or both. Our kids won't be able to go to school in the fall because 'Muricans won't wear face masks or hold off on getting their hair cut or eating at Denny's. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:57 PM Flag
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Hence why we have the president we do, but we can’t say Deplorables. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:02 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:37 PM Flag
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I live in LA. Was feeling better, went to dinner outside, saw friends, went to the beach. Now plummeted back to rock bottom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:03 PM Flag
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What changed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:07 PM Flag
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Cases exploded, stuff started to shut down again, feels like we are going backwards. Hopefully the beach only stays shut this weekend, my early am week d beach trips with the kids have been sanity saving [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:37 PM Flag
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I've noticed I feel better when it's sunny and I stay off the internet. Worse when cloudy and I sit on UB all day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:27 PM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:57 PM Flag
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I doubt that the internet has made anyone feel better, ever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:39 PM Flag
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You could go for a walk when it's cloudy: wear grey or camouflage and go for invisibility. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:40 PM Flag
[ - ] If your have a DC in a PRIVATE in either NJ or CT can you please say if you have heard anything from the school about plans for the fall since the governors gave guidance for reopening last week? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:44 PM Flag
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Yes. Start late August. Younger up to grade 6 in school all days. Older beyond that, rotating weekly between school and distance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:49 PM Flag
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Interesting. Thank you. When did they make this announcement and what sort of protocols have they outlined? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:04 PM Flag
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NYC, a few days ago. But this is in line with the briefing they gave us in May. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:06 PM Flag
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OP asked for NJ or CT because they are the only ones who have laid out specific guidelines for reopening [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:09 PM Flag
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which school/state? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:04 PM Flag
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In NJ, and ours is waiting until early August to make the call. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:05 PM Flag
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Are you at a k-12 ? How are they justifying delaying this decision? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:06 PM Flag
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NP. I think this decision is a game day decision, but the information they can convey now is about their plans and the different range of options. I know that in broad strokes there are three options, but it would still be nice to understand the details of each [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:10 PM Flag
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I am in NJ and have not yet heard anything from ours. Yet I did just receive a tuition bill, so I would like some answers before I start writing more checks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:08 PM Flag
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Oops. Sorry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:21 PM Flag
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CT here an no. Constant emails about racial issues at the school but no word on reopening. I’m getting pissed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:24 PM Flag
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Same with our DC private in NJ. I am also getting pissed and its time for them to start communicating with us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:31 PM Flag
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CT, starting in September as usual. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:01 PM Flag
[ - ] dh and i have been diverging in our political stances - i'm getting more liberal, he's getting more conservative. I really don't want to spend the next four months stuck at home with him fighting about politics... 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:11 PM Flag
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Who is forcing you to talk about politics? My DH and his mom differ greatly in politics and every time they talk about politics it turns into shouting within 5 minutes. Yet they keep talking about politics. I don't get it. There are a million other subjects to talk about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:12 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 03:39 PM Flag
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Np: unfortunately I’ve found - esp with trumpets - everything leads back to politics. “What a gorgeous day!”, Trumper - “yes it is. Who are these idiots trying to convince us the climate is changing?” Etc etc. I have an ex-friend who was like this. I tried and tried to keep our conversations light, but no matter the topic - toys for the children (evils of China), statues in the park (left wing vandalism), and basically anything else - there was an undertone of anger and deflection that just made me sick. Not worth it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:32 PM Flag
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This. I really have nothing to talk to my mother about other than my DD. Any talk of current events turns political [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 05:56 PM Flag
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I'm in the same boat. He's anti mask, thinks virus will just go away, don't know where this is coming from at all. He's not a bit conservative but this topic is hard to avoid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 04:48 PM Flag
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similar with us but its around BLM. I have decided to just keep saying we aren't going to agree and we don't have to and then changing the subject. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.20, 06:43 PM Flag
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same here, we are both fiscally conservative but I am socially liberal and he is not. hard to watch the news together, lots of yelling at the tv.