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09.10.19, 19:32 PM General Topics
13 replies
My colleague was promoted and I was not. He promotion is well deserved, and it's a position I would not want and can not have, but I still feel like crap. And for how it looks to the rest of the firm. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.10.19, 07:32 PM Flag
 

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Sorry. Imagine all the top brass on Wall Street being exited in the news . Or John Bolton. At least you’re not headline news! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 07:46 PM Flag
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OP: thanks so much for this. You're right, and it's a helpful comment. I'm actually at a kind of loss as to how to behave. I congratulated her immediately on our Slack channel and haven't changed my disposition towards her or in meetings/calls. But I feel super weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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I am similar to you. I’m raising 2 SN kids and dealing with my own personal issues as well. I just can’t do it all. Some days it is disappointing and work seems vapid and with no growth. But I am here. I have a job. I know it sounds sad but I have to accept this as it is at least for now. Plenty of people my age are aged out and I still have something. Every week people I know in high powered jobs are being let go. Honestly? It might be better to fly under the radar. High earners are in the crosshairs, at least in my industry (finance). Sure congratulate her. And congratulate you too. Surely you have things she doesn’t. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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kudos to you. i was you. some days i regret that i did not push myself, then i remember, there was no way to do so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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There’s always a way. But it would be at the expense of my family. H is incredibly involved and supportive but I want to see my kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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that's what I'm saying - sorry I didn't make it more clear - there was no way to do so save at the expense of my family and parents. I just couldn't do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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OP: you guys are fantastic. Thank you so much for your words. This is exactly how I feel. My DH is the higher earner, and gets kid-coverage priority. But this means I am in neutral- indefinitely. My colleague has made the other choice, and for her this promotion means a lot of travel that is just not an option for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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NP. everything is a tradeoff. I look back and wish my career had been a little more successful, but then I think of the family sacrifices I would have had to make and I don't think I would have chosen differently if I could do it again. As for me, I've watched younger people leapfrog me, that's humbling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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OP: thank you, this insight is super helpful. This is exactly right: and every time I've been given the choice to make a sacrifice (miss a school event, other), I've chosen in favor of my family whenever possible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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If it’s a position you would neither want nor are eligible for, why do you feel weird about her promotion and how does it reflect on you st all? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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Yeah. It stings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Living well is the best revenge. Enjoy your work, get on well with your colleagues, and wait for the promotion to the job you actually want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:36 PM Flag
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It happens. Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.11.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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