UrbanBaby

09.09.19, 21:03 PM General Topics
9 replies

Spin off to on line dating post. I realize I get in my own way with trying to meet someone. Here are some reasons why, both practical and more psychological—1) I have limited resources for keeping my appearance at date worthy levels, 2) I’m still traumatized by the failure of my marriage, the toll on my self esteem , 3) I’m embarrassed about my financial situation, 4) deep deep down I feel I still need to be 100% available for my kids (now teens). Even though shared custody ds sometimes requests to stay with me .. 5) facing reality of limitations of my options. I’m lonely and don’t want to be alone but these issues are holds my me back. If you’re divorced/single, what holds you back ? If you overcame, how? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 09:03 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

Holding me back ^^^ [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:04 PM Flag

I'm you, for the most part. I can think of a million reasons not to try. Told my friend over the weekend that I've kind of given up on love. That made her sad. We drunkenly decided I need to watch some Brene Brown motivational videos to trick myself into caring. I mean...it would be nice to ever have sex again. I miss it. :) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:23 PM Flag

Op here thank you! Yes I loved sex and had fairly excellent sex with ex. It’s been almost ten years I can’t believe it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:44 PM Flag

I am sort of disgusted with men. (Society at large, the patriarchy, etc.) And with myself for letting them matter so much to me and basing my view of myself too much on what they thought of me. Obviously this comes from upbringing, I have been to therapy to deal with the issues, but I’m just not sure I want a man in my life again anytime soon. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:20 PM Flag

I feel this too about the typical man and all of my serious relationships were fraught. But I wonder about one day finding respectful mutuality with chemistry affection support and trust. The kind of relationship people in good ones describe. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:02 AM Flag

Or: I haven’t given up hope completely. And honestly I think, for me at least, this is part of my path, this phase of wanting nothing to do with them and needing them in no way. GL to you!! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:31 AM Flag

Thank you. You sound like you’re in a good place. Gl to you too! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:23 AM Flag

I was you and then one day, after about 10 years (seriously!) and a bunch of therapy, I was just done with my pity party. Made some other changes in my life, started taking better care of myself (doesn't cost anything to exercise a bit and take a few minutes to style your hair and you can buy some clothes that fit well on sale). Then I decided that I was truly ready to meet someone and I did. Mind over matter is real and it's amazing. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.09.19, 11:13 PM Flag

Thanks for this. I feel that this is where my head is at now too. I’m ready but I’m scared shitless. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:03 AM Flag