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07.23.08, 15:42 PM General Topics
88 replies
Has anyone else noticed that when pregnant, they get offered a seat on the bus but not the subway? When I take the bus, at least 1 person offers me a seat every time. When I take the subway, nothing. I haven't taken anyone up on the offer yet (only 6 months and not too many stops) but I find it interesting. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.23.08, 03:42 PM Flag
 

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I have the exact opposite experience. Offered a seat 90% of the time on the subway; more like 40-50% on the bus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:11 PM Flag
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i noticed that when i was pregnant that it was mostly women who would give up their seats. and if it was a man it was usually a latino man, sometimes a black man, but hardly ever a white man. i traveled to london when i was pregnant and thought i would notice a difference there (would more men offer a seat?) as it turned out the same held true in london on the tube - it still was women who would give up their seats more often than a man. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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It's not our fault you're pregnant, hon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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i wasn't saying that people had to give up their seats, i never expected it, it was nice when people did offer, and it was interesting to see who was more likely to offer a seat - a man or a woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:46 PM Flag
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Go away [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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i noticed it too. women and non-white men gave up their seats. you will find how rude people are when you have the stroller and they don't open the door for you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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I was shocked to find that the bigger I got the less offers I got on the subway. I think it has to do more with the NYC attitude of having tunnel vision and not caring or noticing as you run over people. I will teach my children to always offer a seat if they see someone who needs it more than they do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:36 PM Flag
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Who the hell are YOU to decide who "needs" a seat more than anyone else? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:39 PM Flag
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woah! you're saying an able bodied man shouldn't offer a seat to a prego woman? Granted I know some disabilities aren't visible and people who seem able bodied may not be, but that's obviously not everyone who stays seated while seeing a prego woman standing.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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Unless you take a poll of the people who are seated, you have no right to make assumptions. If you really NEED a seat, take a cab. Or stay home and put your feet up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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np: you are obnoxious. WHen I am pregnant (currently 36 weeks with #3), I ask a person who looks able-bodied (young guy typically) for a seat. I've never been refused. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:56 PM Flag
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Ha. You haven't met me. This happened to me a couple of times. I ignore them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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Idea -- why don't you go to xtube.com? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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I was close to doing that. I asked for someone else (pg lady) once. I'm amazed at the rudeness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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not everyone can "take a taxi" or "stay home". Do you realize there are lots of women very pregnant out there working until birth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:57 PM Flag
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clap clap clap [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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Their choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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what?? Their choice? Have you never heard of needing to work for a living? Some people don't have choices...single moms, working poor, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:07 PM Flag
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They could have CHOSEN birth control until they were better able to afford a child ... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:08 PM Flag
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A fan of Eugenics, are you? dude, you're sick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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No. Just a fan of personal responsibility. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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oh go to hell [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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what about people that WANT to work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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Again ... their CHOICE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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what's your overall point here? Some of us are arguing for decency and kind gestures of offering seats, while you seem very angry at pregnant woman who take public transportation. what's your POINT? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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My POINT is that these women shouldn't EXPECT kind gestures. If I want to make a kind gesture, I'll make it. But don't get pissed off when I don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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You're a ray of sunshine in many people's day, huh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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I feel sorry for you. You sound sad and angry. People who haven't experienced kindness and love generally don't offer it widely...sorry that's been your experience. good luck to you... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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It's not a "kind gesture". rather: "it takes a village". Troll. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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So what if it's your first baby and you're working until you have the baby - would you give a seat to that person??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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That is such a load of baloney. Everyone except the elderly and kids should offer their seats to the pregnant ladies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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The disabled should? Are you high? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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i agree with you. i remember once when i was on a train when i was pregnant with a man and his young son (he had to be about 12) and the man told his son to offer his to me - and he used it as a teaching moment and told his son, how he may be tired but it is always nice to offer a seat to someone who appears obviously appears to need one (whether pregnant or otherwise). it was nice to see this man teaching his son this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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That's sweet. I'm a guy and I rarely offer my seat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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Because I need it more than they do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:02 PM Flag
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why, are you disabled? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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No. Just tired. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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question for the guy - why is more likely that my 92 year old grandfather will give up a seat on the subway than 30-40 year old guy? I bet he's more tire than you - but he still will offer a seat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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He was pu$$ywhipped in a much earlier era. We men of today grew up in more enlightened times ... "I Am Woman" and all that jazz. You're welcome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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you sound like a gem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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ITTA. You can't have it both ways, ladies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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i was thinking that maybe he just had manners [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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he does (a chivalrous older man). this poster...not so much... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:01 PM Flag
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Manners? How often do you, a woman, offer your seat to a man? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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If they are obviously having a problem or look like they need a seat I would ask, but most men's "problems" aren [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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^^aren't outwardly visable like being pregnant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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You were pregnant with a man and his son? Must've been uncomfortable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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LOL - that was my post - see i didn't read what i wrote before I sent - funny now that i re-read [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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I think its actually a law that you can claim a disable seat when you are pregnant. They used to have subway posters up about it. It makes sense, by the way, cranky, lazy selfish people. God, I've seen people not give up seats for people with canes! Unbelievable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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you are a jerk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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I've noticed this too--I wonder if it is because bigger = less attractive and ppl are more likely to give seats up for attractive women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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I totally agree. I'd be mortified if my children don't offer their seats on public trans to the elderly, disabled or pg. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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Not to start a war, but in my personal experience, Hispanic men were always willing to give me a seat (train and bus) when pregnant over anyone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:57 PM Flag
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They're used to being more subservient. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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subservient...racist....say more polite. i am a latin woman and latin men are more polite to women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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i'm not latin, but I agree with this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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Only because they want some. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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my experience too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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it is part of their culture to do this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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never noticed any consistency with the seat offers. it's always nice when one is offered so profuse gratitude is in order cuz you are neither elderly nor handicapped. personally, i preferred to stand on public transit during pregnancies, it was actually more comfortable especially towards the end. it was too difficult to get out of a seated position too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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I'd give up my seat for you in both cases, but I'd probably be more aware of you on a bus. Also bus has a higher % of handicapped seats, so riders are supposed to be more aware of riders who needs seats and bus is more dangerous for you to be standing up in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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one time at about 39 weeks in the heat of the summer, no one offered me a seat on the bus. I finally got one and then was the only person to offer it to an elderly couple who got on (one of them anyway). they refused and insisted I sit. some people are just rude. I've noticed it here and in boston. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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Absence of chivalry does not denote rudeness. YOU are rude for calling people out on it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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it's rude and bad manners. I've never called anyone rude. it's obvious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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Again, it's not RUDE to be *not* chivalrous. It IS rude, however, to EXPECT chivalry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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angry poster: why do you care so much about this? I'd really like to know... as I already said, I feel sorry for you. You sound sad and angry. People who haven't experienced kindness and love generally don't offer it widely...sorry that's been your experience. good luck to you... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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it's rude to expect manners? that would be sad if it were true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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There's a difference between "manners" and "chivalry". Please familiarize yourself with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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have a nice evening. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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you are a serious a-hole, hope to never meet you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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Especially if I'm pregnant... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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...and how much class did that couple have in insisting I sit instead of they? we talked the whole way (they sat down next to me soon after) and they were lovely (had grandchildren, etc.). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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That's nice. Point? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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just sharing a nice public transportation story. it wasn't recent but I still remember them. it's nice when that happens in nyc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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I pretty much was always offered a seat. At the time, I rarely took the bus, so we're talking mostly subway. And I was definitely offered seats by a wide variety of people from all ethnic groups (I noticed, because I'd been told of people not offering). There's the sheer weight and unweildy-ness, the fact that if a pregnant woman falls there are more dangers for both her and her baby, and all the reasons having to do with blood supply and all the constant changes of pregnancy that a pregnant woman is more likely than average to feel sick or lightheaded. I've wondered why my experience was different than so many I've heard of, who were not offered seats much. I really don't know. All I know is that my attitude (which may have shown) was always (usually), yes, I need a seat, and no, I don't expect one to be offered. I was always gracious in accepting, and it was always a lovely shared moment. I'm reasonably attractive but not especially, white, was 39 yo at the time, tallish & thinnish. Today I travel w/ dd in an ergo, and am likewise almost always offered a seat, but not as quickly. Will anyone else fess up about how kind strangers were to you pregnant, or are we only complainers here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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i never expected a seat, it was nice if someone offered. and i too was gracious when someone did, because they didn't have to. a lot of times when someone offered the seat, it was a few minutes after leaving the station, and they would apologize for not offering their seat right away because they didn't notice (we're reading, or zoning out). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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i am 35 weeks prego and almost always get offered a seat on the subway (dont really take the bus) i find that it is almost always men - and mostly latino and black men who offer me their seats (rarely white men). i also find that women are nasty. they see me and my huge belly and sort of snarl at me. if they do offer their seat, they are are not kind about it - sort of look at me and say something like 'uhg - do you want to sit here?' i also find that teenagers NEVER get up or offer their seats. when my kids are old enough, thats one of the first things i am going to teach them! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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I gotta say, with the new style of womens tops in fashion lately it is getting harder and harder to tell if women are pregnant. Granted there is a point where it is not a question but you have to also remember, the rest of us don't know if you are preg or just heavy. I say, if you need a seat, just ask. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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it's just america and dare i way white western societies. white people have offered to give up their seat, but i do think it's more common from non-white people. and yes, usually more likely women than men. to be fair, sometimes i don't think it's intentional...i think people sometimes just don't notice. i think it's a sad commentary on the selfish individualistic nature of society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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I cannot believe how tolerant people are towards racism towards whites.How dare someone say "I only see latino men give up seats".That is so racist & if someone said "I only see white men give up seats".There would be such an outrage.Racism or bigotry of any kind should not be tolerated!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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It's not racist to make an anthroplogical observation. It would be interesting to investigate - why do hispanic and african american men give up their seats more often to pregnant women rather than white american men? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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Huh? How did racism come into this? It's about giving up a set or not. Who cares what race is the most accommodating in this situation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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I often got offered seats but it was always, always, always by black or hispanic men or women or white women. White guys almost always ignored me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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And I hate to say it but the Jewish men would run me over to get a seat before I did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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You are such a bigot!I've had plenty of men,jewish white,asian,give up seats for me.I'm just curious,the people who keep saying hispanic & african american men are more likely to give up their seats,are you hispanic or african american? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 03:26 PM Flag
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And I've had a guy who beat me to a seat. Squeezed in to a recently opened seat right in front of me. Must've been the poster rattling on about "our choice." Hey, how about this: if you twist your ankle playing tennis, do you expect no one to offer you a seat because it was your "choice" to play tennis? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 03:19 PM Flag
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once i hit 7 months seats started appearing everywhere. you may not look as preg. as you think! as for subway/bus difference, cannot say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.27.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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