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07.22.08, 18:09 PM General Topics
97 replies
4:30pm on the B train, I'm at the end of the car with 8mo in stroller and 3yo on two seater with me. (I try to situate myself at the end of the cars so my stroller doesn't block the flow.) A fat lady gets on, sits her butt on the handrail right next to 3yo dd. Then she offers to hold dd in her lap so her fat self can sit in her seat instead. I switched seats with dd so that fat lady would have to sit her butt next to me instead. Fat lady didn't have much room anymore so gets up, still miffed that I wouldn't let her sit & hold dd. Then another fat lady across from me says that I should hold dd in my lap and give up dd's seat for passengers. Was I unreasonable in not giving up my two seats in the corner or was I simply being attacked by resentful fat ladies? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.22.08, 06:09 PM Flag
 

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You should have the two seats - F those ladies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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i don't think you should have given up seats, though technically you are supposed to fold up stroller. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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8mo sitting in stroller, I try to fold up stroller when I can, but then I'd have to hold 8mo AND stroller AND deal w/3yo's incessant needs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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sling or bjorn db. totally doable (and yes, have btdt) and set limits with older dc so his incessant needs don't bother you. but you have to expect a little attitude if you take subway at rush hr with unfolded stroller. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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well, ergo was used half the time (going down stairs), but it's very hot and 8mo can't stand the ergo after about 5 stops. we were going from grand street to 109th, it was a long ride and when we started out, barely anyone in the car. The rush starts around West 4th upwards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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Not on the subway... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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actually, you are supposed to fold it on subway. look at mta website. it is rarely enforced though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 04:35 AM Flag
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I would have either folded the stroller and held the baby, or left the baby in the stroller and held the 3 y/o. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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to what end? she was a party of 3 taking up 2 seats. folding the stroller and having the baby on her lap wouldn't free up any seats, and would provide only marginal additional standing space. op already worked out the best place in the car to park the stroller so it wouldn't be in anyone's way. the fat lady was rude, pure and simple [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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That fat lady was trying to get some relief on a crowded train. OP's kids had to share a handrail??? How unforgivable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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?? you mean the 3yo and the 8 MONTH old? how exactly would sharing the handrail work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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I wasn't there--ask OP. I am forever having people lean in on that handrail when I'm sitting there and somehow I deal with it. I just don't get OP's outrage, I guess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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OP: there is leaning, which happens often in crowded trains, and there is literal sitting. Fat women was sitting, and looking to slide down into dd's seat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Maybe fat woman was actually leaning but seemed like sitting because of all the excess flesh on her bottom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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What does one leg swinging freely off the ground mean - leaning or sitting? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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And fat lady's pocketbook was resting on her lap? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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where are you reading outrage? op asked "was i unreasonable in not giving up my two seats . . ." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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she's not taking about the handrail above shoulder length. she's talking about the curved rail at the side of the actual seat. the fatty was sitting that rail -- so literally sitting on top of her daughter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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...who paid one fare and is pissed someone who paid one fare wants a seat? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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you were NOT out of line, kids deserve a seat too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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I had an incident on the bus the other day. My 4 yo is very clumsy and falls down a lot. We got on the bus and there was 1 empty seat so I told ds to sit there and I stood next to him. Then this fat woman sitting across the aisle starts lecturing me that I should sit and let dc stand since he will take up less room in the aisle and it will teach him to be a gentleman by standing. When I mentioned that I wanted him to sit for safety reasons she then starts this tyraid about kids needing spankings etc. She kept talking at meet and wouldn't shut up even though I was completely ignoring her (and ds who wasn't saying anything was looking at her confused and bewildered) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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What's up with fat women wanting to cajole and position other people's children? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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don't comment on others when you don't even know how to spell. "tyraid" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:01 PM Flag
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wow! I always let kids, preg. women elderly sit before I do. If nothing else, it's a safety issue. People who are less able to move quickly should be out of the way of the stampede of a disaster. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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You sound so understanding. Maybe the woman needed to sit down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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perhaps, but if one really needs to sit down, getting on a subway train during rush hour at rock center is not the place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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And OP's excuse for bringing a double stroller on the subway at rush hour is what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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where did she say it was a double? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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You presume too much, there was no double stroller, lightweight single that I have specifically for subway rides. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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Sorry--I read "two seater" as double stroller. Question remains: why was OP entitled to her PITA trip at rush hour when overweight woman was not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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op's pita trip didn't keep the fat lady from having her trip. why should the fat lady be entitled to op's seat? if op had skipped the trip altogether, the fat lady still would have been standing, as the two-seater would have been occupied before she got on no matter what (which we know because if the train wasn't already crowded she wouldn't have been left trying to squeeze on top of a rail in the first place [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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I think people who get the seats first are entitled to stay in their seats unless they volunteer to give it up. There is no rule that riders are obligated to give up seats for fat women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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Or for toddlers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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do oyu not grasp that the toddler was in the seat already? nobody gave up a seat for the child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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I do grasp that, which is why I don't understand OP's problem. She had the seat. She kept the seat. What's the problem? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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OP didn't have the problem, she kept her seats. Fat women had the problem, they were pressuring her to give up a seat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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You must be fat if you are using the term 'overweight', that's why you are defending the fatty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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np: you women are ridiculous. you always feel the best way to insult another woman is to call her fat. not sure how girth came into play in this story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:07 PM Flag
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over 20 years in nyc subways i can say that fatties usually want to sit - all that weight can be exhausting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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There are several groups who will stampede you for a seat. The overweight are not the first (or second or third...) to come to mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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are you insane? if she "needed" to sit, she should have asked, rather than pulling the passive-aggressive sitting on the rail shit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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a 3 year old can stand between your legs. children should give up their seat to elders. (only exception: if child is so tired/sick (s)he's falling asleep.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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stroller was between my legs. and yes, after a full day at school, walking to subway in this heat, waiting for 2-3 D trains to pass before a B finally pulls in (as it happens every afternoon), 3yo is TIRED, so am I. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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why didn't you put 3yo on your lap if the 8mo was in the stroller? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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stroller was between her legs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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how would putting the 3yo on her lap help the fatty anyway? she wouldn't have fit into 1/2 a two-seater. op would have been mashed into 1/4 of a seat with 3 people -- to accommodate one rude pig [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Do you actually take the subway in NYC or any other city? 3 year olds don't have the balance or strength of grip to stand on a moving subway. Seats should be given up to elderly, disabled, pregnant, and moms juggling 2+ little kids. Sorry, first come first served as to any others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:25 PM Flag
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ita! why is dc not worthy of the seat she is already in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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sorry, I don't think small children should stand. I give up my seat for elderly, preg. etc. I do put my small child on my lap on a crowded train. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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regardless of the stroller, the fat bitch was looking for a seat and wanted to make you feel guilty. This is New York, Not Kansas, you don't have to be polite. I know I'll get flamed for that but hey, its true. Screw her, don't give it a second thought. Her saying she'd put dd on lap is ludicrus. She was looking to sit her fat ass down at any cost. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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And OP was not looking to get a seat at any cost and make the fat lady feel guilty? Please. There are only so many seats--sometimes someone has to stand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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?? she got that seat when the train was empty. she didn't like a huge fat chick sitting on her kid -- i think that would annoy you too, no? i imagine if the fat chick had been a little less over-the-top-rude in the first place, maybe op would have shifted her 3yo as a matter of course. (of course her reward would then have been being squeezed into 1 third or less of a 2-seater with 2 children) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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I'm always annoyed when people enter my space (such as it is) on the subway, but my highest level of annoyance is reserved for parents who bring kids on trains at rush hour--unless going to/from school or daycare. Maybe OP was, but I don't know. Just as I don't know whether the fat lady was ill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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OP said they were coming from school. but who are you to judge the necessity of others' trips? maybe you should linger an hour later at work to reduce the rush hour load. do you really NEED to get home right away? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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LOL--and who are you to judge whether or not this woman really needed a seat? Are you for real? You can judge others but no one can judge you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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how am i judging whether she needed a seat? i'm judging her rude behavior in sitting on a child just because she could, rather than expressing any actual ned she might have had. were YOU the fatty on the train? why are you her champion? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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I'm not her champion as much as I'm trying to be a voice of dissension in this crazy mob. It's funny to me that so many of the people here who are outraged by the "fat lady's" behavior will post tomorrow (or the next day) about how no one gave them a seat on the subway when they were pregnant. Guess why? Because so many women just look fat when they're pregnant! Maybe if we were all a little more understanding of other people on the train, it would be better for everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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see next-to-last-post. i was on on subway and needed a seat, so i asked for one. there's no need to be understanding of of someone either passive-aggressively or merely uncaringly crushing a child. you need to sit, ask to sit. maybe if people didn't take their annoyance at a random parent they think has taken something they deserve out on a child it would be better for everyone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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if the fat lady was ill she should have said something -- not taken it upon herself to sit on top of a child just because she could. she wasn't shy about asking to hold a stranger's child on her lap -- if she had a need she could have mentioned it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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For Chrsit sake its the NYC Subway, do you really have a choice at being COMFORTABLE on the train?? Where are you from Alaska? Sh$t happens you move on, end of discussion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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stop dissecting my post . .Jesus you need to chill. Read it as you will. I'm simply saying the fat lady was wrong. and NO OP wasn't trying to make her feel guilty for HAVING a seat. Fatty was putting on the guilt trip [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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Heaven forfend I should actually respond to your post! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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OP was there first- First come first serve! besides I have a huge issue with all the fat asses and the way they always force themselves into a seat and then spread their behinds gradually over two seats squeezing all remaining passengers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Fat lady was trying to guilt OP into giving up the seat since she was an easy target. I'm sure there were plenty of other strapping young men in other seats who were even better candidates for giving up their seats, but she was not targetting them because OP was presumed to be more likely to fall for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Aren't those 2 seaters the ones you're supposed to give up for people who are sick/disabled? Maybe the fat lady was (and was trying to accomodate both her need to sit and OP's kids). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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you are so PC that is what is wrong with society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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That's where we disagree. I think people calling other people "fat lady" is what's wrong with society. OP is looking for confirmation that she wasn't acting in her own self-interest. She was. Own it and get over it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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Ok fatty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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No indication of that in OP's post. FWIW, I have found that people who are disabled (or at least think they are more disabled than you are) tend to tell you so directly and ask for the seat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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how the f%$#k do you know my situation?being fat doesn't entitle you to a seat on the nyc subway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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once when i was pregnant and standing on the subway i suddenly felt like i was going to puke/faint (equally) if i didn't get my head between my knees immediately. i asked the person sitting in front of me if i could have their seat, and they gave it to me. that's how it works. you don't just sit on someone's small child because you decide you want to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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I seriously doubt that was the case. I believe the woman was just fat and too lazy to stand. Might do her good actually, standing up burns more calories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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you paid for 1 seat and took 3 spots. you should have held 3 yo on your lap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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you don't pay for a seat, you pay for a trip. the seats are nice if you can get them, but they're not an entitlement that comes with your fare [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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you have never riddent he NYC subway. Talk to the hand cause you are just typing foolishness [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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What's the point of mentioning the women's weights? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:32 PM Flag
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What's with all the fat bashing? You can make your point without it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:34 PM Flag
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I hope one day you get to be fat. And if not, I hope you get to be old and stand on the subway ride. You are such a jerk! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:45 PM Flag
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if i'm fat one day i will not be expecting others to let me hold their child so i can take the kid's seat. that's ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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FWIW, if a child is 3+, I think they should give up their seats to adults, and especially older adults, if this lady was one. I'd probably make my child get on my lap... but that's just me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:04 PM Flag
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OP, for some reason you need justification for your actions. Mean fatties tried to snag your seat. You seem very insecure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:17 PM Flag
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^ I'd probably say look at that white trash dragging her kids through the heat from crappy LES up to Harlem. Where is there a full day of school for a 3 year old and 8 month old? Where is this full day school in August? If you can't stand being near people, maybe you should splurge and take a cab next time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:19 PM Flag
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not white, 3yo in daycare, i can stand to be near people, people who insist upon others for a seat should be the ones to opt for cabs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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then stay in your own neighborhood and you won't have to commute [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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I guess I'm in the minority here, but I always put my child on my lap on the bus when it gets crowded and I would do the same on the subway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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"Young enough to ride for free, young enough to take a knee." That was the motto when I was a kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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this is getting kind of ugly. Sounds like the overweight person wanted a seat like everyone else on the train, but once she got it she really wanted TWO seats (which she would have if OP let her hold her child). She got up because she couldn't get two seats together for one person. So yes, OP and her two kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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were taking up room, but the reality is that one woman+one toddler+one infant+one stroller is best managed as the OP did it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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two kids mean a lot of junk to lug around. skinny little fold-up strollers have no accessory bag. where's at bag of kid's and mom's stuff supposed to sit, on the infant's lap? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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Fat people should have to pay double fare on the subway and still never be allowed to sit. Nothing I hate more than an entitled fat person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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Airlines charge extra for POS (Persons of Size). But then they sell seats and not rides. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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Would you be so outraged if this were a thin person? i really don't see why her being fat has anything to do with your reaction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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cuz fat people tend to do this sort of thing, squeeze against other people and think nothing of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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no, everyone does this on crowded public transportation. you think nothing of it when a thin person does this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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A thin person can be obnoxious and try to spread their legs wide to take a 2 seats, but a good subtle shove or elbow usually gets them to move over. Can't do that with a morbidly obese person who is half in your seat since there's is nowhere else for the flesh to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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thin or fat, it doesn't matter, it's annoying. but gotta say, the fatter the buttock, the more in-your-face (literally) the gesture it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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