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07.22.08, 11:18 AM NY Schools
27 replies
DS seems to be acting out unappropriately in camp lately. Hasn't really acted like this before. Seems to be a difficult kid in the group that he finds frustrating. I've already talked to the teacher, talked to him, taken away prividges, etc. Don't know what else to do to get it to stop? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
NY Schools 07.22.08, 11:18 AM Flag
 

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how old? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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5 and a half [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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Anything going on at home? Move? New baby? More fighting? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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No, nothing really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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maybe stop blaming the other kid in your mind. there are kids who will be difficult from time to time or much of the time everywhere. right now, yours is one of them. maybe just take a hard line about hitting or aggression, but otherwise back off. camp should be fun, not the source of punishment and tension. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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He's not usually all that difficult at least not with other kids and teachers. He complains a lot about a particular child at camp and doesn't want to go now. Usually loves school and loved camp last year. So, somethings up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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ah yes. it is someone else's fault. your dds is usually an angel. now he has been corrupted by the bad kid. funny thing is, he's the one getting in trouble. maybe you need to get out of denial. like I said, sometimes it will be someone else's kid, and sometimes yours. the sooner you realize it the better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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I agree. I have an occasionally difficult kid, who seems to do well in school and camp, but less so on playdates. sometimes another mom will blame her kid's bad behavior in class on my dc. But I know he is well behaved in school by all reports. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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I agree that she shouldn't blame the other kid for her son's behavior however maybe something happened between the two kids and now her son is acting out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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she said her son was frustrted by the other kid. maybe his frustration tolerance is lower because he is in a new environment. a bit different than the other kid did something to cause him to act out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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op:ds complains that the other child spits, kicks, calls him names, takes toys and the usual garden variety of behaviors. It's been awhile since he's dealt with a child like this. He doesn't seem to know how to deal with it. And yes, the teacher has mentioned that this particular child is frustrating children in camp. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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and what is your dc doing?? sounds like he is doing things to get in trouble as well. also, the way you posted this made it sound like you were asking about how to help your dc. now you sound like you are blaming another, and saying your kid's behavior is only related to the other kid. I really finbd this annoying. if there is a problem between the 2 kids, the teachers/.counselors should sit them down and work it out. far more productive than blaming, saying your kid never did it before etc. he is doing it, maybe having a bad time with another kid. the focus should be on helping them get along if they are not. the blame is useless. he is not in preschool anymore, and has to be helped to learn to deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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I would like to know what to do to help my child deal with this. It's not just my ds and the other child. It's between the other child and many kids. But, I haven't heard what I could do so my ds doesn't act out when confronted with this situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 03:09 PM Flag
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tell him to ignore the other kid. tell him to tell the counselor if the kid spits at him or whatever. tell the counselor to sit them both down. you still haven't said what your ds is doing. perhaps the other kid is acting out in response to him. obviously if they are the only two getting in trouble there is a problem that ivolves them both. I would have the counselors sit them down and try to work on making them get along. play a game together, or whatever. this happened at our school. one dc said something mean, but it turns out the other kid wouldn't give him any space. the teacher handled it brilliantly by putting them together and setting the ground rules. they became great friends. this is camp, so no long term possibility, but they should be made to deal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 03:48 PM Flag
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NP: Good advice. It is true that it is unclear whether its just a bad dynamic. Perhaps, working on the dynamic will help Op's dc calm down and behave better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 03:57 PM Flag
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They aren't the only two getting in trouble! I think it is effecting several kids. I think bad behavior can be infectous. I am trying to drill him to move away from the child, tell the teacher, don't respond or lash out, taking away prividges at home when he does. It's a very difficult situation, I don't want my child to misbehave, but also don't want him to get use to it either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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np: get used to what? if its such a problem, affecting so many, whay aren't the counselors dealing with it? If your dc and this other boy are harming other kids, why is the camp tolerating it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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geeze! The other child isn't necessarily harming just very frustrating for some of the other children to be around. Camp is suppose to be fun, the question is how to teach my dc how to deal with kids like this? I don't want my dc to act out, I certainly don't want him to join in, but I don't want him to tolerate it either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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loosen up. its camp, and will be over soon enough. it sounds like you are more upset about it than anyone. if the camp is laid back about it, it probably isn't serious. these are 5 yo boys who are thrown in together and have a negative reaction to each other. hardly a tragedy. your kid won't even remeber this is a few months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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And what do you do when it's your kid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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is he going to camp because he has to go for daycare? if not, just take him out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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Yes, I work part time. But thanks, I have thought about keeping him home a few times to mix things up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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Just try to be as consistent about discipline every single time. Other than that, what can you do except love him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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Does your name start with an E? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:46 PM Flag
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no, but I wouldn't tell you if it did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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dc=M? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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op: no. Sounds like this happens a lot? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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