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07.22.08, 06:06 AM General Topics
17 replies
When my parents babysit dd, they let her stay up until 11pm. They say bc she doens't want to go to bed and it's not their responsibility to discipline her. My view is that it's not good for her. She ends up not listening to them or respecting them. And ultimately, it just impacts their relationship with her and means they shouldn't babysit very often. Yet, they want to spend lots of time wth her. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.22.08, 06:06 AM Flag
 

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That would make me crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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yep. it most def does. i know many say they're grandparents and dd isn't their responsibility, but they're saying they want responsiblity for her. they just don't want to deal with discpline. These are the same people who asked me to be sure to put them n our will as the caregvers for dd f somethng happens to dh and me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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Sorry. 11pm is just ridiculous--it's laziness on their part. My SIL is having similar difficulties w/ our MIL wanting to watch their 6 m.o., but then not doing a good job w/ it. Did your parents let you stay up until 11? Ask them, and if they didn't, then why not. I swear they sometimes lose all memory of what parenting is like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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If you think that it is laziness, you don't need to use them as a babysitter. Listen, these are your parents. If they don't want to fight with your child to get them to go to bed, they dont have to! Your parents are older and you have to decide- if it bothers you so much, find another sitter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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OP here.. the above wasnt' me. and you're right, i don't have to use them as sitters. and we have pretty much stopped. but they want to spend time with dd. they want to get to know her. and they want to be her caretaker if something happens to us. but obviously, if we don't feel comofrtable with them sitting, they're not going to be her caretaker in our will. (i know it sounds silly to be talking abotu that, but they bring it up often. a bit too often) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:21 AM Flag
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^^it's not just about them fighting with her to go to bed. it's that dd has no respect for them at all bc whenever they tell her something, she says no, they don't follow through. she's completely out of control with them. she's not like that with anyone else. it ultimately hurts their relationship with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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What you are saying makes alot more sense now. I am sorry that there is no easy answer. How old is your DD? As they get older, they tend to calm down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:26 AM Flag
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she's 4. and no one, no other babysitter has ever had problems getting her to bed. we used to, when she first moved into a bed, but now, it's rare there will be a problem. i think it's more bc they are somewhat neglectful of her when she's awake and it's her way of getting attention from them. which makes me sad bc i had the same problem with them when i was a kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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they're sayng now that they did. but remember them putting me in bed at 7:30 and completely ignoring me. it is TOTAL laziness on their part. dd sits on the couch with them while they watch CSI or Law and ORder (Sex crimes division). she eventually falls asleep. then they lie about doing it and tell dd to lie to us about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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Okay, that's all kinds of wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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well- you know the answer- pay someone else to babysit! I always tell people who want their parents to watch the kids, it is better to pay someone- they usually listen and do what you tell them vs. parents [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:21 AM Flag
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we usually do. this is my parents choice. this is something they ASK for. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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then use them to babysit during the day time some week-ends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:25 AM Flag
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here's the thing... that requires moe planning on my part. i have tried hard to make things as easy as possible for my parents to have a good relationship with dd. but they dont step up to the plate. we tried during the day sitting, but they don't do anything wiht her, she's bored and hates spending time with them. so then we try night sitting. get her ready for bed, etc etc. most times, we leave after she's already asleep. they ultimately need to step up if they want a relationship with her. i've done all I can do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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tell them that babysitting means you accept responsilbility for being the parent by proxy. If they can't accept that they are not willing (or allowed) to babysit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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I will save this post for my friends who lament that our families don't live nearby!! Thanks and good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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how old is your dd? i don't think this is a big deal. unless they are sitting for her on a regular basis and it's a weeknight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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