UrbanBaby

07.21.08, 18:51 PM Toddler
18 replies

Only serious answers please. My dear friend's 3 y/o said his babysitter hits him. My friend needs to talk to the sitter. Suggestions on what to say? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 07.21.08, 06:51 PM Flag

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nanny cam - stat [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:51 PM Flag

ita, does yoru friend think the sitter is going to admit it? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:54 PM Flag

np: You assume that the 3 y/o is telling the absolute truth. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:55 PM Flag

Not at all! But if there is something there you cannot find out for sure any other way. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:56 PM Flag

I would start by talking to my dc to find out the context, if they were hurt, etc. If the story doesn't fall apart there, then I would approach the nanny. If it did fall apart, I would start the "why we don't tell stories accusing other people of being mean" speech. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:58 PM Flag

So you assume the 3 y/o is lying. How strange. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:59 PM Flag

np: ita with this - my 3yo ds is very verbal though, there's no way he would make this up. as much as it's a pita to find a new nanny, get rid of this woman! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:02 PM Flag

I don't assume the 3 y/o is lying. But I know that 3 y/o's do exaggerate and tell tales for attention. Before I accused someone of gross misconduct, I would do a bit of investigating. Where did it happen (so I can ask some other people who may be around), what was dc doing when the nanny him him/her (was it an inappropriate reaction, inappropriate discipline, or a random explosion of anger), etc. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:02 PM Flag

Thank you for this thoughtful response- very helpful. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:03 PM Flag

no [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:56 PM Flag

Talk to nanny broadly about discipline techniques and see what she says. 3-yo's do have a tendency to fib for attention. I would not be to quick to accuse the nanny. I would get a nanny cam though. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:54 PM Flag

a tendency to fib fits some children, not all. and in general, very young children do not lie. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:02 PM Flag

And in general, non-violent and self-regulated adults do not become violent and short-tempered overnight. If there has been no indication of the nanny hitting before, she deserves for her employer to at least ask a few questions before acting. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:06 PM Flag

I can't imagine what kinds of questions you are thinking of that will get nanny to out herself [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:17 PM Flag

I want to ask the child and any potential witnesses. This is employment, plain and simple. If one of the analysts on my team told me that another analyst hit him, I can't just fire the accused. It's no different with a nanny. Just because they work for a family and not a company doesn't change things. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:23 PM Flag

Before she talks to nanny, she needs to talk to other people who have seen the nanny interact with her DC. He's probably telling the truth, but if she hears that the nanny is usually warm and affectionate, then maybe he's not. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:54 PM Flag

DON'T ask 3 year old further. That is NOT reliable. Do the nanny cam. This is not worth it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:08 PM Flag

Agreed. My 3 yo comes up with the oddest stories. Reality is frequently distorted. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.21.08, 07:13 PM Flag