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07.21.08, 13:46 PM Preschool/Kids
11 replies
Anyone else afraid of being their mom to their own child? My mom was very cold, rejecting and I am afraid I am acting this way even subconsciously with DC. After this weekend with my mom and DC I just could not stop crying. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Preschool/Kids 07.21.08, 01:46 PM Flag
 

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my mom did some things great, some things not so great. I'm about the same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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My mom was always complaining of tiredness, fatigue, etc. It was the same crap this weekend with DS - I refuse to chalk it up to her being older. She has a way of making you feel like you can't ask her assistance with anything, she's too emotionally spent with life. Wakes up late, still squinting till like 10am, MUSt have coffee MUST have her paper - cannot stop to watch DS use the potty, eat his breakfast - NOTHING...can't sit with him in the kiddie pool, it's "too uncomfortable..." wants to leave to go be with her boyfriend (who PS is better with DS than she is)...never has food around the house for us to eat...so why invite us if we are such a burden? Then I kick myself for even thinking she would improve - I am just setting myself up for disappointment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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My mom was also kind of cold to my DD. She's only 6 mos but too heavy for my mom to hold for very long. So my mom would talk to her in the bouncy seat, but say basically the same thing "so, what do you think? Ah hah, is that so?" for about 30 min. and then go back to reading her book. Maybe I am being too hard on her, but I'd think she could be a bit more imaginative with her own grandchild. She also put DB in the crib and let her cry multiple times. Made me wonder what she did with me when I was young. Then I felt bad because DH was away this weekend and DB got to me and I let her cry it out in the crib for a while, just like my mom would have done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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your description of your mom talking to your baby made me laugh! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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Not suggesting that cold and disengaged is good but, really - how much can you do with a baby. I think there is too much emphasis on interaction and constant stimulation, etc. in parenting today. I mean, we even us ethe word parenting as a verb... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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Now that I am a mom I actually think my Mom was really good. But she yelled a lot (nothing mean once, just all day long and in front of friends) and I try not to yell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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Me too. Great mom, who was a yeller and now I fear I'm a yeller in training. My momwas older when she had me. I'm 42 with a 4 YO and I swear, I think it's peri menopause that makes me a yeller. Hate it about myself. Arrgh, sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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get thee to a therapist. Common fear. Better that you recognize it than deny it. I had a couple of years of therapy working through the relationship with my mother before I had kids. Smartest thing I ever did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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Trust me I have had years and years of therapy. This weekend just hit home for me. It was rough. But good. I am trying to take time to focus on DS now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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therapy can do wonders [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 04:28 PM Flag
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Some women just aren't that into babies. My mother had no interest in kids till they were old enough to read and have a logical conversation with - her mother was exactly the same way. I, on the other hand adore babies and know I am going to miss the physical intimacy of snuggling and just wrapping your arms around a tiny child. My issues may come later when they are teenagers, or maybe I am over compensating for not being hugged enough as a child, who knows? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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