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07.18.08, 18:15 PM Preschool/Kids
54 replies
Be completely honest, what will you feel when your little girl tells you she wants to be a stay-at-home mom when she grows up. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Preschool/Kids 07.18.08, 06:15 PM Flag
 

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Thrilled for her and my grandchildren, anxious that she has to put her life in the hands of a husband to support and care for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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i agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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yep , i agree. i am doing it now and while i love it , it is a little wierd/stressful because of that. i hate having to depend on someone financially [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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well said - ita. and i'd remind her that no matter how great her dh is, she should always have something to fall back on, that it is up to her to take care of herself and any dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:49 PM Flag
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GREAT because I am a STAHM mom myself and my mom was and so forth, I think it's great for moms to be home, but I also respect working moms and w/ the economy lately I am considering working part-time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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no different than when she tells me she wants to be a daddy when she grows up - they are children. It means nothing (and neither does staying at home with young children or working btw.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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I'd hope she had gone to college and could support herself on her own first. I think it is very unrealistic to think someone is always going to take care of you. That said, I think it's great that you did you did your job as a parent so well that she wants to be just like you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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Like who? I would be SO sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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sad? Why on earth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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I was raised to take care of myself, and I want her to do the same. Divorce is over 50% so why would I want her to be financially dependent on a husband she may or may not find, and whom she more thanlikely will get a divorce from. Thats why. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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FYI - very few women can afford full-time daycare on their salaries. Its elitist to suggest that you can have children and work full time with 1-2-3 kids in day care and have enough left over to support a family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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I was also raised to take care of myself. I worked since I was 16. When I finally got married at 35, I made sure I found someone who was trustworthy and wanted the same things I did. I now SAH, even though its a stretch financially because it's what we want for our family. I can't imagine being sad about a situation like that. I want my DD to do whatever makes her happy and fullfilled. I would much rather she plan and wait and find the right person and do what she wants than have her slaving away at some stupid job just in case she gets a divorce someday. You are very pessimistic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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Well, besides divorce, husbands die too, sorry to be pessimistic, but no one plans on getting divorced, no one thinks their husband is not trustworthy when they get married and have kids, and no one has a crystal ball. It seems very naive to think you are taken care of,but that's why a lot of women live below the poverty level when they get divorced or have a sudden death of their husband. hen have to have the GOV help them out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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I really dislike that attitude. I am not being "taken care of". We take care of each other. We have life insurance for sudden death. I worked before and I can (and will) do it again when dd is in school. I think it is really sad that a choice that your kid would make - a responsible one I mean, not like she is saying she wants to star in porn flicks! - would make you SO sad. I find that odd. Some of us don't have careers. Some of us want to stay home with our own children. What's the big deal? It makes some of us happy. I would not be upset if DD chose to work or SAH. I don't get why this bothers you so much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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ita. who cares if she works or stays at home. hopefully she's smart she'll do what she and her husband feel is best for their specific situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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I posted above you, I never said it would make me sad, that was someone else, I just said I THOUGHT it was naive, that's all. Sad no, you make your own choices, I have to work, so I will, I would love to stay home for the baby years, it's just not my reality. No big deal, it seems like it bothers you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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well someone in this thread said it would make her sad. I think it's silly. People plan for a career. Hopefully they also plan to SAH. I'm assuming we aren't talking about someone marrying at 18 the first guy who looks at them and popping out 4 or 5 kids. We are discussing SAH as an option that, IMHO is equally valid to working. I don't think it's naive. I think it's something you work towards and hopefully ar able to do. We are struggling right now because it's what we both wanted. That's not ideal but it's ok. We will be ok in a few years when I go back to work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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Hopefully her husband will have an isurance policy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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I would never want to make life choices based on fear. Realistic review of the situation including risks and benefits, yes. Fear of the worst case scenario, no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.19.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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I'd like to say "GREAT" but I would cringe, honestly, sorry. I would never want her to be in a situation where she is dependant on someone else's income. Now, if she is wealthy, for what ever reason on her own, then great, stay home and raise your child! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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honestly, if she is wealthy on her own (prob because of a thriving career) she would be able to afford a nanny and continue to work. most avrage income womens salary's cannot afford reliable day care so it makes sense to stay home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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I didn't want to have kids myself and then have a nanny. To do my career and actually make any money it required being available 24/7. I was lucky I could choose to sah. Not everyone has the choice. I hope my dd's have choices too. Honestly it's impossible to do it all well - something has to give. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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happy for her that it's possible, concerned that she plan for a time when she wants to focus less on children and more on herself- keeping her options open for going back to work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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I will tell her the same thing I told my SON when he said he wanted to move to California with his 3 best friends & he would stay home & take care of the babies - that I thought that was a wonderful idea & I was so proud of him! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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wow...that's understanding, so he lives in a commune with other peoples kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Well, if you consider his best friends a commune & he said the other kids jobs were Suba diver & Baseball player but he would be "the Dad". I think that is so wonderful that he thinks the most important part of being a father is caring for & nurturing his kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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Are they his kids or his friends? Im lost? Does he work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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He is 8 yrs old! It is a fantasy! One friend thinks he will grow up to be an ace Baseball pitcher, one thinks he will earn a living as a Scuba diver, my son choose to the Dad who would take care of everybody. He assumes he will have a baby just like the baseball player assumes he will be on a major league team. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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oh, ok, I just assumed he was college age when he said he wanted to move to California with his friends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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Oh, I was responding to the OP's question about a "little girl" so I assumed people would get I was talking about a little boy. Sorry! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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Hmm, but just to be clear if it was reality instead of fantasy I would still think it was a great idea (except I hope he wouldn't be in a 3 way relationship) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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sounds kooky to me, but to each his own! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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You must be a Jewish mother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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Total WASP here - why on earth would you think otherwise? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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we are talking about SAHM's what are you talking about, is he with a woman who has kids? Is he gay and adopting children? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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I would think it was great and hope that she plans things out well enough that she will be able to do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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I would tell her that she also has to get an education, develop marketable career skills, and be able to support herself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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and what if she doesn't do what you say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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That's her choice. But I will make sure she knows that I don't have the means to support her and (possibly) grandchildren. And I will explain to her that many women find themselves living in poverty when their husbands disappear and don't pay child support. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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I hope I would have raised her better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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OMG! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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to ba a cube martyr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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sort of depends on how many kids are involved. also, i'd be wondering what else is on the list of aspirations cuz sahm status should only last a couple of years per child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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bite me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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"bite me" that's the best you can do, you've stayed home too long already...get a job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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why would you have kids if you wanted someone else to raise them for their entire life minus a couple years??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 09:10 PM Flag
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I would tell dd that it's very important that she be able to support herself economically, not ever be totally financially dependent on dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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When I was little I wanted to be a ballet dancer. Ha ha ha. I trip while standing still and learned the positions from a book I checked out of the library. Would never would happen. Didn't concern my mother a bit: neither did my desires to be an archaeologist, poet, teacher, fire fighter, corporate lawyer, or stuffed animal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 10:33 PM Flag
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I am a STAHM at the age of 21. I am enrolled in school twice a week to become a pesonal trainer (yes, I am in good shape). But I think it's important to be there for your kids. Not saying that you can [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:26 PM Flag
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* stay at home all the time, but how do you save money? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:27 PM Flag
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What makes anyone confident that they would even be able to project into the future that far ahead with any accuracy? All I want is for my kids to be happy with their life decisions. It is a privilege to be able to afford to stay at home. But it can also take a toll on a career. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.19.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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I think people like the one who started this post should shampoo my crotch. WOMH, SAHM, who fucking cares? How about having enough confidence in your own choice to be able to refrain from dissing those who chose otherwise? To each their own lives and choices. Get a clue and move on--nobody fucking cares what you think of them. Bitch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.19.08, 04:10 PM Flag
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You're a turd. To each their own. Have enough confidence in your own choice to not attack those who chose differently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.19.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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