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07.18.08, 15:37 PM New York City
20 replies
Help, shrinks on? DH violent temper. When caught in a lie starts screaming top of his voice breaking things banging scaring the dcs becomes inhuman. What is this, it is like a psychotic break, banging head like my 2yo tantrums. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 07.18.08, 03:37 PM Flag
 

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stress at work? needs help maybe meds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:45 PM Flag
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meds have done no good. He also blames ME for these outbursts. Shaking right now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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anger in men can often be a sign of depression. he needs therapy, maybe meds but maybe cognitive beh therapy to figure out what triggers him and how to react more reasonably [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:47 PM Flag
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^^also, did he suffer any sort of trauma or crime? impulsivity and hyper reactions can be signs of ptsd. either way, get him help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:48 PM Flag
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We see a couples therapist. We discuss these sorts of outbursts but I don't think the doctor understands what really is going on. He has had a drug problem for years, smokes marijuana habitually, we are trying to get him not to but of course he sneaks it and hides it. I just found some in his pocket, tried to remain calm but he flew into a rage, threw me across the room called me horrible names broke a door in the house. Traditionally now he will calm down come out and be horrible to me blaming me for everything calling me names and then falling asleep. His childhood was traumatic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:54 PM Flag
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get out of there. advice on 911 was good. can also call safe horizon for help-they have court programs with things like daycare to help you go to court for restraining orders. resources to help you find new housing if you need it. gl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.19.08, 04:34 AM Flag
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Take kids and go elsewhere for a little break while he seeks emergency treatment. My sister was assaulted by her angry husband and his behavior was nowhere near the head-banging you describe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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I know you make sense but I have no money to do that and no parents or family to go to. My goal is/was to try and modify this behavior. What makes a man lie, and then when caught in the lie scream at inhuman levels and break items which mean something to you while calling you names. When this happens he is worse than any loon I have ever seen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:58 PM Flag
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Get out of there with the kids till he gets emergency treatment. Don't put yourself or the kids at risk of harm from someone behaving this oddly. I speak from family experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 03:59 PM Flag
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would you mind elaborating on that, your experience I mean. I hear you, I know you are right, I don't have $1 to my name to leave tho' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 04:00 PM Flag
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Hi - My DH has the same issue. He is an attorney so the last time this happened I went to police and got info. on restraining order. Once he understood he would be professionally ruined he started leaving the house when his rage was descending. Not a fairy tale ending but I did make my point. Would your DH be threatened by criminal arrest as well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 04:13 PM Flag
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he might, good idea. his 'name' would be ruiined though hard to imagine a man who doesn't care enough about his dcs to react to the law but you may be on to something, thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:00 PM Flag
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Columbia DOVE program call ER for number, can help guide you--this is domestic violence, you must protect yourself and your children. Call 911 and have him hospitalized involuntarily is also an option but it sounds like you are not safe. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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Thank you, very much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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Could be bipolar? Does he get sad too? extreme with sadness and anger out of no where? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:02 PM Flag
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yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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Please next time he gets out of control, call 911 have him taken to ER, so that he can be evaluated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:07 PM Flag
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Don't wait for 'next time'. Get out and/or get him out now!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.19.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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In addition to whatever you are doing to protect yourself and dcs, I just wanted to recommend you step back from having *any* expectations of him -- eg, you say when he is "caught in a lie"... but why are you trying to "catch" him at all? He's smoking pot and whatever else, accept that simply because it is reality. He may be reacting to you as if you were an authority figure from his abusive past, and may be being triggered by your monitoring of his behavior (note in no way am I saying you are *responsible* for his behavior). I also recommend going to an Al-Anon meeting (get some of their literature, too). You'll be ok. Take care... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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Call your local police dept or soc services agency. They have resources to help you take a break from your dh. I had an abusive father like that. He had an anger/pill problem and prob bipolar. But he was a business genius, and could turn on the charm at a moment's notice. Beware. Get help. He can turn on your kids, not just you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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