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07.18.08, 11:26 AM Toddler
17 replies
Honestly, who comes first? DH or your DC? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 07.18.08, 11:26 AM Flag
 

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Always, always DC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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My Dh is having an existential fit about that and wants me to prioritize him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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Your husband needs to grow up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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Tell me about it. Also we just had DC #2 - 6 wk old. So I am spread very thin as it is. And this is his contribuion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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I think it's appropriate to be blunt here. Something along the lines of "Acting jealous of a toddler and an infant is really idiotic. How about being a parent instead of acting like a needy teenager?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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np: or, try a softer approach and say "look, I know that with the second kid there is less time that I have for you and less time that you have for yourself, and it's hard to adjust, but I need you to step up here b/c i'm overwhelmed too. and i need your support, not to feel like you're another child i need to take care of." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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Does he prioritize you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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Hard to tell. He is so busy with work. He seems to needto see me outsource the dcs so we can spend time together alone like in the pre dc days. But - like I said before, we have a nb so its hard... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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And NOW is not THEN. I'd remind him of that and let him know that it is never going to be the same. Not worse, just different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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np: I do think it's healthy to have time each week to be alone together w/o the kids. DH and I have always done that. He is so busy with work, and it really helps us stay connected & strong. And that, in turn, is healthy for hte kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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Dc of course. I actually believe that it can be different for men. My brother and I were clearly prioritized behind my mom and my father's career, and it was okay. He just sort of parented and cared for us through her. Very traditional family life. I'm very pleased to say that I am well behind my dd on my dh's list of priorities, however. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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it depends on the situation, sometimes DH. i once heard a relationship expert say that your spouse should come first, then your kids. b/c if you are only focusing on the kids, your relationship can suffer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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^^^also, it is good for your kids to grow up watching his parents honor and serve each other. so prioritizing their father sometimes teaches them about what marriage and commitment are about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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This is the way I was raised. My mom always told me that, if she did her job right, I'd grow up and leave her, but my dad would still be by her side. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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np: so true. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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It has always seemed bizarre to me to make these kinds of artificial distinctions. I can't imagine life without either db or dh. I guess if i was in some kind of ridiculous hypothetical I would pull db out from in front of the speeding bus first. But in real life, you and dh are both there for each other and to do the best job you can of loving and caring for your children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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ALWAYS dh first. always. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.18.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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