UrbanBaby

07.17.08, 19:43 PM General Topics
12 replies

DD is 5 months old and DH has been driving me crazy worrying about her development, i.e. she smiled late, took a while to look at faces, and won't raise her arms above her head. I'm sure this is all normal, but he keeps bringing up autism and cerebral palsy and is making me worried. She just started reaching for objects - he was concerned about that as well and he is also concerned that since she doesn't like tummy time she's not making any progress with her upper arm muscles. I am a SAHM right now and I try to do a variety of activities with DD during the day and feel that DH is being neurotic and unfair about DD's development, plus he makes me feel like I'm not doing my "job" right. I've told him to chill, but I am worried that DD will gradually pick up on his concern and feel that she is not living up to his expectations. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.17.08, 07:43 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

maybe have dh come to 6 mos ped appt with you if possible and have ped help assuage his nerves. talk to ped ahead of time though. send him to therapy to deal with anxiety. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 07:44 PM Flag

He is planning on coming to the 6 mos. appt with me - that's a good idea to talk to the Ped ahead of time. He was actually thinking of getting an appt with a Ped neurologist! Maybe I should send him to therapy [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 08:06 PM Flag

being a first time parent can throw you for a loop. we sort of think this happens mostly to moms, but it happens to dads too. having someone to talk through this stuff is good. he may be anxious about something else and it comes out as the stuff with your dd. or he may feel so out of control about things, so is trying to exert control-easier said than done [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 08:27 PM Flag

Hadn't thought of it that way. He did just start a new job a few weeks after she was born. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 08:52 PM Flag

If he is that upset about it and the ped doesn't help, call early intervention. It's free, it can't hurt, best case there is nothing wrong, worst case, you found something early and are getting it addressed. This is coming from a mom who had two dds who were late with everything (2nd DD I had evaluated)...they are perfectly fine now! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 08:30 PM Flag

Definitely second having him talk to the dr. Also, do you have any father friends that he could talk to--maybe someone who could reassure him that kids develop at different rates? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:07 AM Flag

Yes, we actually have a lot of friends that just had babies and I don't know why he hasn't asked the fathers himself? I'll suggest it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.18.08, 01:45 PM Flag

Do you know if he posts on UB? Because I think I've seen about 200 of his "is this normal?" posts on here. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:10 AM Flag

I would be extremely surprised if he did, I guess there are a lot of paranoid fathers out there [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.18.08, 06:14 AM Flag

not to be alarmist, but it sounds as if your husband is having some kind of anxiety problem, maybe related to adjusting to being a parent. is this yoru first baby? if the dr says your dd is fine (i think she will) and your dh still doesnt relax maybe he should get some counseling. my gut feeling is this is about him, not your dd [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.18.08, 02:12 PM Flag

just to be clear -- im the poster from above -- i dont mean to be judgemental. my husband had a mini crisis when we had a baby. everything is fine now but it can put the zap on people's heads. gl! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.18.08, 02:13 PM Flag

Yes, this is our first baby. No offense taken, just wish DH would lighten up! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.18.08, 05:21 PM Flag