UrbanBaby

07.17.08, 10:24 AM General Topics
16 replies

Just had a horrible fight with my sibling, wwyd? They have planned a destination wedding in a remote location. They are "surprised" that many people are complaining that they don't know what to do with their children (kids aren't invited) during the ceremony/reception (this couple is late 30's early 40s). I (insensitively?) said they would feel stupid in a few years when they have kids and they realize what a difficult position they put their friends/family in. Tactless I know - but this is my sibling. Rec'd vituperative e-mail lambasting my insensitivity. Advice? Thanks. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.17.08, 10:24 AM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

what insensitivity? people in their late 30s and early 40s have kids too. and they are old enough to get that people with families have different comittments than single people without kids [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:26 AM Flag

OP: They will have kids but are as of yet childless however all of their friends have 2-3-4 kids and some are coming from overseas. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:27 AM Flag

They should no better, but you'll just have to keep your mouth shut for now. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:30 AM Flag

you're right. but it doesn't matter. you hurt the feelings of someone you love. apologize for being insensitive. then, when everything's calm again, if they ask your advice - and only if they ask - give it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:26 AM Flag

Yup my mistake was saying anything. Gotta learn to keep my mouth shut. Esp. now that they are married I don't get those "family" privileges of not editing myself. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:28 AM Flag

Yep. And then you compounded it with the editorial comment. Remember how stressful wedding planning was? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:30 AM Flag

^^ and it sounds to me like they need to find a room to dedicate to child care and hire a couple of experienced people to look after guests' children. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:31 AM Flag

Good idea, unfortunately I'm guessing we won't be talking again any time soon [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:32 AM Flag

As doctor Phil would say, be the hero. Call her/him and apologize for adding to their stress and let them know you'd be happy to help the plan this aspect if they want ;-) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:34 AM Flag

Actually it wasn't for me - I just wanted to make my guests happy and amazingly that was a great approach for having a fun wedding. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:31 AM Flag

Yeah - we put a lot of focus on the experience we wanted our guests to have too and had a great time doing it. But, for many, the planning along with the huge emotional issues that preparing for such a ritual entails are proverbially stressful to the max. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:33 AM Flag

good point [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:33 AM Flag

np: I think it is safe to say that if the couple are having a destination wedding -- the guest focus sensitivity ship has already sailed. (If you listen carefully, you can hear it signal as it clears the harbor. hoot hoooooot hooo....) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:46 AM Flag

apologize (even though you are prob. being the bigger person here) and offer to help look into/arrange child care options for the guests. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 10:38 AM Flag

Good thing she's not my sister. I would have said, "Destination weddings are selfish and so over". [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 12:03 PM Flag

THANK YOU! I'm surprised anyone is going. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.17.08, 12:05 PM Flag