UrbanBaby

07.16.08, 18:47 PM New York City
20 replies

so mad, upset, confused right now. my 2 kids aged 2 and 7, were at my inlaws for couple hrs today, my oldest was making the little one cry, they were fighting, running around, and my mil grabbed a wooden spoon and tried hitting my oldest in the butt, oldest tried running away and she accidently got hit in the wrist. when dh went to pick them up, and found what happened he yelled at his mother. my oldest came home crying telling me what happened, i spoke to dh and all he said to me was, she needed, it. am i overreacting, what would you do? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 07.16.08, 06:47 PM Flag

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I wouldn't do anything. I see nothing wrong with a swat on the butt with a wooden spoon by grandma. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:49 PM Flag

If that's how your MIL chooses to discipline in her house, that's her business. Either your children will behave, or they'll get the spoon! It's harsh, but it's their house, their rules, their discipline. I would personally never spank my child. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:49 PM Flag

my grandmother make me pick my own switch. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:50 PM Flag

sounds like you need to haeva talk with the ILs about how you want your kids disciplined by them. Even if you spank, you can ask caregivers not to. I think you need to be very straioghtforward about this and tell IL's that is not acceptable [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:50 PM Flag

np I say grandmas house, grandmas rules. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:51 PM Flag

on most things I do too. My MIL does many things differently than I do. I don't want someone else hitting my kid though. I haven't ruled out spanking as a tool, but I want me or DH to be the ones to decide when and how it will be done [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:53 PM Flag

ah, it was a swat with a spoon. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:54 PM Flag

I understand that. I don't like my kid being hit in anger though or swatted. I want spanking to be done for certain really big things, nit just everyday things like teasing a sibling. For that kind of thing, she can separate them or put her in time out etc. Just me though [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:56 PM Flag

I've never asked my mom, but I strongly suspect she would laugh at the idea of a time out. I KNOW my grandmother would. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:58 PM Flag

not trying to argue, just sharing [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:58 PM Flag

^^me too. I know there are various ideas about this. You are being respectful and not flaming so I have no problem talking about it ;-) [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:00 PM Flag

LOL! I know things were different way back when. A caregiver should respect the wishes of the parent though. I don't like the idea of a kid being swatted in anger like that or hit with an implement. I'm not an anti spanking nazi, but I think it should be done right and sparingly. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:59 PM Flag

I don't consider grandma a caregiver. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:02 PM Flag

really? I think anyone who takes care of your kid, even once in awhile, is a caregiver and should be expected to follow some rules. Now I think it's grandparent's place to spoil the grandkids some - let them stay up late and eat cookies etc. But Spanking is another thing altogether IMHO [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:05 PM Flag

Grandma has a much more honorable position in our life than "caregiver". [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:06 PM Flag

LOL! But she still cares for the kids. My point is, anyone who watches, looks after whatever, the kids, should be more or less on the same page as the parents if at all possible OP was upset about this so I think she should talk to g'ma. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:08 PM Flag

I disagree with this one, I think its great for dc to learn different people have different rules and ways. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:10 PM Flag

and I completely agree with you on that, right up to the point where my kid gets spanked with a wooden spoon by someone who is not her parent. I just think that is over the line. For me anyway, and sounds like for OP too. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 07:11 PM Flag

he yelled at his mother already. but then, it's her house. kids will know that grandma won't let them get away with it again. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:51 PM Flag

that is what I was thinking, but didn't post. Wait and see if they behave next time and if they do - say thank you! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:52 PM Flag