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07.16.08, 16:41 PM Expecting
28 replies
i'm trying really hard to not hate on dh right now. he gets to go camping for three days while i take care of 4 mo. help. i want to embrace my jealousy and wrap up in it like a blanket. but i know that i shouldn't. help. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Expecting 07.16.08, 04:41 PM Flag
 

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My dh did things like that when I had a newborn. Now my dh plans on doing a trip for himself shortly after db #2 arrives. He's a good dh but it feels like these men have no idea of how hard it is to be a mom. (p.s. we're equal breadwinners, too!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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It took me five years of motherhood before I could gracefully (well, mostly) accept that DH will always have more free time, more freedom and more opportunities to enjoy himself. Thats just the way it is. Kick, scream, bitch and moan but at the end of the day acceptance will make your life a lot easier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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ittta with this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:55 PM Flag
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I completely disagree. This is complete BS. It is hard but DH needs to pull his weight and watch DC"s while you have your time. If my DH did this, I would have his head on a stick. There needs to be balance and it up to you to demand this if your DH does not give it to you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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And THIS is why women like you get divorced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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LOL! Yes, get respect and treatment I deserve and surely I will end up divorced. It's women like you who think you have to play second fiddle to stay married that gives the rest of a bad rap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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I'm not a woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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Why don't they get it. My dh will decide to go somewhere afterwork never worrying about picking the kids up or making dinner. I know he doesn't understand it's not that he's being mean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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op here: i know. he's a really great guy. i just can't help it. i want to do something to make him feel the same way that i do. it's so petty but i'm tired of being tired and grumpy and jealous. i want to be happy and buzzed and act like a twenty-something again, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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^^oh, and i totally work full time and we take turns taking care of ds. it's not like i sit around all day shopping or anything. jesus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:51 PM Flag
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thanks for the vote of confidence for SAHMS! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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so make some plans and assume he will take care of the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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I so agree. Live your life just like he is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:02 PM Flag
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It's not going to happen. Instead you can be cuddled loved, spit up on, sucked on and worn out. It's not going to be the same for you dh either. Life has completly changed it's just bigger for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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I disagree with all the above. Dh may go off and do something. So you plan and do the same. It is only guilt stopping you..YOU tell them what /when you are away. (household things are not the same- you come back and the place is a disaster, so what) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:53 PM Flag
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That never works. Moreover its a long and bitter marriage for you both if you spend your time keeping score. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:55 PM Flag
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we do not keep score. Dh has 1 thing he does at weekend- and so do I. If he needs a morning then I get the next morning. Dh can cope without you. Most women will not let go for 4-6 hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 04:59 PM Flag
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Oh please, I totally disagree that its about gatekeeping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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whatever- I never said it was about gatekeeping. OP cannot let go and let her dh have some free time away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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ah, that is what gatekeeping is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:10 PM Flag
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why is that bad? why don't you plan a quick getaway for yourself as well? i'm going away this weekend, with dh's encouragement, with a girlfriend--and he'll have 2 kids under 3 by himself all weekend. stop hating him for being able to enjoy himself, and start enjoying yourself as well. your being miserable doesn't help anyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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look at the reply above you- I am being flamed for the samw thing as you say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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or: the problem with women like OP is that they're control freaks, so insist on doing everything themselves the RIGHT way, but then they're pissed off when their dhs want to live a normal life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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enjoy your weekend- and I will enjoy mone!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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Totally! no matter how "Fair" your marriage, its always different for mom, and I htink that sucks, too. Dh does little things like this all the time, even though hes a great dad. I never "just walk home because its nice out" I run home to relieve the nanny, but he never gives it a thought. a million things like that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:06 PM Flag
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Sorry -you need to recheck . You may need to tell Dh to get home by??? for the nanny. Men are men you tell them what to do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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And your point is??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 06:01 PM Flag
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np and I think it's important to recognize that when your baby is this young, it has to be more on you b/c of nursing, etc. When db is older, you can leave him/her with DH for a three day trip of your own. It can't be equal every single day, esp. where biology is concerned, but it can even out over time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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