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07.16.08, 13:27 PM Toddler
21 replies
I am a new SAHM after working for almost 20 years and I am amazed at how "fragile" at lot of these SAHMs seem to be: weekly therapy, needing lots of "me" time for massages, facials, etc., sending pets to "camp" so they don't have to deal with them in the day, and all the time still talking about how hard life is. Please tell me that just being a well-off SAHM doesn't make you this way. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 07.16.08, 01:27 PM Flag
 

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what's wrong with some "me' time? why be a martyr for motherhood? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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nothing wrong with me time, but these moms seem to spend 20-30 hours a week on it, yet they all still some somehow not centered and very needy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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np. There is 'me' time and there's coming across as completely incapable of coping with your very easy life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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op: this is it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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I'm a SAHM and NOTHING like that. If you have friends like this I'd advise looking for new ones they sound crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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op: not to be nosy, but are you very well off? I wonder if this is somehow caused by their ability to pay for lots of help, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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Put it this way I could afford whatever help I wanted but I choose to look after my kids myself. I might add though that I am English not an American. In England there isn't such a culture of therapy etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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There's no reason you "have" to be any way. Do what you want, be who you want. You sound "fragile" if you think that behavior is somehow inevitable, and trust me...it isn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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op: yes, I know that. I am just amazed at how many seem like this-it almost seems like a disease [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:36 PM Flag
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I am a well-off SAHM who is not like that at all. I have a part-time nanny who comes to help out so I can do a variety of things - grocery shopping, charity work, drs appts, occasional evenings out with friends or dh, etc - and other than that I parent. I do know a LOT of women (in my "circle" - not saying I am friends with them) who are like you describe though. It is depressing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:36 PM Flag
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op: I keep wondering what attracts their husbands to them? They seem to just be like dolls about to break at the most minor disturbance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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np. Because they are like their mothers! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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or - I don't think they started out like that (but who knows). There is also a big different between people who have always had money (my family is very wealthy but I know how to act with money) and those who are newly rich [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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And that fragility is sensed by their kids, who often deep down, feel they cannot rely on their moms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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some men like that. it makes them feel strong and needed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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^^^ fwiw, when I was just out of college I was a temp nanny for a woman just like the ones you're describing. She was awful, her children prefered me to her (would cry like crazy whenever I left, didn't when she went away), her dh really didn't love her (they ended up divorcing shortly after and his new wife was so much better than her) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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Maybe the key is that you are a "new SAHM." Being home is still a novelty. That said, it is a different kind of difficult. It is not I am the CEO and if I fail the company fails, it is I really have to use the restroom and can't do so without one or more kids with me. Also, it totally depends on how many children you have, their ages (which dictates whether they are home all day or you and they get some type of break by being at school). Just wait and see before you judge. You many not need therapy (hoepfully, not) but you may be able to better understand how a SAHM needs "me" time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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I WOHM but that is really weird. Do you think b/c they had help and money they had too much time to think about all this and not enough of a reason for being? I know someone who became like this when she married someone with money before kids. Needed to stop working to plan the wedding and subsequently to tend to her medical complaints, lost interest in sex... etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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-- I know if I stayed home I would pay more attention to what this one was doing and how much help that one had, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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I am a WOHM and our nanny works for a family like this on weekends. Must be the life to not have a job yet have a nanny 7 days a week. That's not my world, and we are by no means poor or struggling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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Before I had dc, I never needed "me time". I worked a lot of hours, never focused on myself, etc. Once I had dc and I CONSTANTLY had a child needing my attention and I couldn't even pee without someone yelling at me through the door, "me time" became a huge priority. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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