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07.16.08, 11:25 AM General Topics
28 replies
We're on the fence about having a second child. Anybody with siblings think they'd have been happier as an only child?? Any only children who really wish they had siblings? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.16.08, 11:25 AM Flag
 

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Oh jeez, giving dc a sibling is not the reason to have another, no matter what people on here say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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ok, maybe i should ask question differently- anyone with one wish you had more? or the corrolary (though i doubt anyone would answer yes to this) anyone with more than one wish you only had one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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I would have liked to have had another but my dh did not want more plus we couldn't afford it, so we are happy and content with our daughter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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why not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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ita- people have so many different experiences that there is no "right way" or "right" thing to do. Just weigh the pros and cons and make your peace with a decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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ita. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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i am a happy only. never wanted a sib and stil dont. (i have steps but i barely know them.) FWIW i have two kids but one would have been fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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which one would you get rid of - #1 or #2? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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please. one WOULD HAVE BEEN, as in, if i hadn't conceived the 2d time (I was old) it would not have been the end of my world nor would i have made a huge effort to get pregnant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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I don't know if there's a right answer to this one, but when I look at my 2 kids interact (they are now 3.5 and 8 mo) there is nothing in this world that could make me happier. It's the most special thing I've ever seen. I can't imagine them not having each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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I say that my younger brother ruined my life. But truthfully, I'm happy I have sibling. DH & I were on the fence for 2 years before we decided to have #2. It was hard having 2. But watching our 2 kids together, even when they're fighting over a toy ... it's totally worth it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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I have only seen my older brother once in 20 years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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I was raised as an only because my brother & sister are so much older. I think it would have been really healthy for me to have been at home w/ a sibling or two. I turned out fine, but I am somewhat self-centered. Also, my parents had a rough patch when I was young and my mom used me as her confidante and treated me like a mini-adult--not healthy, imo. I think that would be less likely w/ siblings around. Now my big sister and (17 year difference) are super, super close. But it would be nice to be closer in age. My kids are 3.5 years apart and are really growing in their relationship and learning a lot of from each other--it's awesome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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i think it's sweet that you are asking this question, because it's clear you are looking at it from the point of view of your child's well being. think a bit about what it means for your life and your husband's life too, of course, and then you'll figure it out. these personal decisions are really hard. don't let anyone sway you because of their own baggage, though. everyone is different and there is no way to tell what the future holds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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For me 1 dc was great 2dcs are better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.16.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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we are in the process of adopting dc #2, after 10 years of having an only child. Lot's of pros and cons, agree that only you can make the choice. BTW - dc#1 is dying to have a sibling but that is no guarantee that he will feel the same way when dc#2 arrives. I am close to my siblings, my husband barely speaks to his. You never know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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My older brother made my life so much better overall. I would be so bored all the time if it weren't for him. He got me into my hobbies and passions, he taught me so much about the world that my parents wouldn't have. I wish I had more siblings, and I could not image life without any. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.08.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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You would be so bored? How do you know that you would have been bored if you were an only child? As someone with an older brother, yes, you get bored when he's not around but if you are an only child to begin with, you get used to spending time alone and enjoying friendship instead. If you were an only child, there would have been other people who got you into those hobbies and passions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 07:42 AM Flag
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I hate to say this but I was perfectly happy with just my older brother. I was disappointed when my little sister was born because to this day at the ages of 19 and 16 we still have to share. it sucks for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 12.29.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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I am number 6 of 8 and have 4 of my own. I have 2 cousins that are singles. They always wished for a sib. You will always have days where a sib is a pain, but that is yoru decision to go for #2. If we had quit, I still would not be at PTA meetings, as my oldest is starting his family. BUt there are moments you will treasure. Last night we had a 'quiet' dinner with the family as my duaghter celebrate her 22 birth. My oldest, 30 + his wife; my second with his so my youngest at 18 and my spouse with the birthday girl 22. Up to you. I enoy the whole for the most part as a sib and a parent. Enjoy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 06:58 AM Flag
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I am an only and I do not wish I had siblings. At this point my DB will most likely be an only, too (trying to make it through the first six months grrrl) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 07:06 AM Flag
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ds was an only for 4 yrs i just had #2 another boy 5 mths ago and it's really fun..and ds loves having a sibling...im really happy we had another. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 07:08 AM Flag
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I'm an only and always wished I had a big brother. I even had a named picked out for him when I was younger. I was quite lonely, but as I got older, I realized I didn't grow up alone. At least not all of the time. I tended to make my cousins and my aunts who were closer to my age my "siblings". I have two boys, 16 months apart. I was married to their father a terrible, violent man. When I found out I was pregnant with #2, I probably should have been devastated, but I was actually thrilled my first son would have someone he could navigate this world with especially when things got rough. They are complete opposites and have very little in common but get along great. The are both away at college, but when they both come home, I know I did the right thing when I hear them whispering in their room at night about the show Heroes, or school, or Lil Wayne's new song. I think siblings have a relationship with each other that is are different from the ones the have with parents or friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 07:12 AM Flag
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I did the right thing when I hear them laughing and whispering in their room about the show Heroes, school, or the latest Lil Wayne song. I think siblings have a special relationship which is very different from the ones they have with parents or friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 07:15 AM Flag
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My husband and I are hving our first (in April) but already are talking about our second. I was an only child and always wanted/will always wish I'd had a sibling. My mother was an only child and also feels the same way. There are many challenges -It is easy to become introverted and unsociable. I often felt bored. It took me a long time to learn to laugh at myself. Also, handling family matters as you get older can be a burden w/no siblings to turn to. My husband has two brothers. He can't imagine life w/out them and loves them dearly. His mom had a tough job raising three boys, but she certainly has no regrets. I am eternally grateful to her since I did marry the third boy. There are upsides to being an only child. I learned to be very creative and independent. I was precocious to an extreme. For instance, I didn't laugh when someone farted. I had to learn to do that fm friends at school! If you are on the fence it sounds like the answer is no/wait. Your only child will be just fine, just take into consideration the challenges/differences. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 07:42 AM Flag
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to be very creative. I was very precocious. For instance I had to learn to laugh at farts fm friends at school. If you are truly on the fence then wait. Your only child will be fine, just be ready for the challenges. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 07:48 AM Flag
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If you are thinking of getting another child for the sake of your #1, you should consider his opinion. There are dc's who beg for a younger sibling and those who balk at the thought of a younger sibling. You don't want to get a db for the latter and you don't want to deprive a db of the former. I am half serious but it's true. Otherwise, they could be miserable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 07:46 AM Flag
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This is crazy and inappropriate. Having children is a decision of the parents, not the existing child. Besides, they can change their mind! I never wanted a sister, but now I can't imagine my life without her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.23.09, 10:15 AM Flag
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