UrbanBaby

07.15.08, 12:36 PM General Topics
9 replies

Anyone on with girls aged 8 or older? My 8 y.o. dd has just entered a really entitled, spoiled phase. I don't really think she's changed, I just think she's testing me. Basically, she's comparing all the material items her friends get and demanding them from us. I've tried talking to her but I don't seem to be getting through to her. Yesterday I told her if she complained about one more thing, I was going to remove everything from her room that was NOT a necessity - leaving her with a bed, pillow, blanket and clothes. But I don't want to be so punitive or threatening. I want her to be appreciative b/c her life is great. Am I living in la la land? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 12:36 PM Flag

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i think wanting her to be appreciative is maybe asking too much at this age. but its completely reasonable to expect her to stop whining and accept your family's policies about buying stuff. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:45 PM Flag

Sounds like she is pushing your buttons, and getting attention that way. Have you tried just ignoring the behavior? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:47 PM Flag

I would definitely take it away. She is 8 and will not respond well to adult like tactics. show her that you are the boss and that she needs to be respectful and appreciative of what she does have. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.15.08, 01:03 PM Flag

I say the same thing with my 8 yo ds. I just want him to grateful, and frankly, I don't think it's asking too much. Just curious if your dd is in private school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.15.08, 01:06 PM Flag

no - we're in public but in a very affluent suburb (not nyc.) we truly are less wealthy than most of her friends and simply choose to spend less than the others. we moved here for the schools (4 kids and private tuition would kill us) but so much comes with the good schools that i hadn't prepared myself for. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.15.08, 01:21 PM Flag

take one thing away every time she complains. or find a way to show her how much less other people have. my parents always made sure that I played with kids with more and with less so that I didn't get that "but everyone else has" attitude. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.15.08, 01:10 PM Flag

op: i'm not sure that losing one thing at a time would be very effective. if i'm going that route, i think i'm more likely to take everything away for the dramatic effect and then allow her to earn stuff back. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.15.08, 01:28 PM Flag

i don't mean one little thing at a time, i meant one significant thing at a time. i think the dramatic a punishment for an 8yo is a bit much. of course, if you take away her 10 favorite items and it has 0 impact on her complaining, then maybe you DO have to go that route. I just find that big threats tend to be empty bc you don't really want to carry them out and small threats are easier to execute. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.15.08, 01:35 PM Flag

good point. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.15.08, 01:36 PM Flag