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07.15.08, 11:40 AM General Topics
20 replies
Just returned from extended family vacation with my brother and his kids and my 2 yr old. While we were away, my ds kept trying to run in parking lots, out of restaurants, etc. My brother emailed me to say that he was really concerned about it and would be happy to share ideas for disciplining him if I'd like. He and his wife spank their kids, but I don't believe in it. We've tried time outs, talking to my ds, etc., but I think he's just too young to really appreciate the danger and is in the phase of trying to test/defy us. Do you think this is unusual behavior for a two-year-old? What else can I do to discipline/teach him not to do this? I was kind of offended by my brother's comment, but I think he truly does care and is trying to help. Maybe I'm not strict enough? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.15.08, 11:40 AM Flag
 

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my daughter ran into the street once and i spanked her not even hard at all just a few taps but i was flaming mad and she has never, ever ran into a street or in a parking lot again. that was the only time i ever spanked her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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this is what two-year olds do, they run. mine runs everywhere, i couldn't stop her if i wanted to. at this young age i see it as my job to chase after her and make sure she's safe, and i've also began to tell her to be careful of cars, which she is starting to get. i think your brother is totally over-reacting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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OP: thanks. that's exactly how I feel too. it's not like i let him run wild by himself. i chase him all over the place and make sure he doesn't get hurt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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Some kids need the fear of your wrath put into them. Toddlers especially have no reasoning ability. You don't have to resort to spankling but it's not a negotation when it's discipline. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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does your brother have any other ideas besides spanking? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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OP: My brother didn't send any other ideas to me yet. But during the course of the vacation, he and my sil spanked their older son (7 yo) with a belt. My sil also made several remarks about "having to beat them" -- she said it jokingly, but I felt like it was directed at me. Meanwhile, they let their 3 yo drink diet coke, feed their kids nothing but processed sugar and let them play with guns and swords -- all things that I don't approve of, but would never dream of bringing up with them. Trying to give my bro the benefit of the doubt, but kind of pissed that they felt they had to address this with me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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OP: TOY guns and swords, that is :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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wow, beating with a belt? joking about beating the children? abusive stuff imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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OP: ITA. I grew up with this -- belt, paddle at school -- and totally don't believe in it for my son. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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this makes me feel so guilty. i'll often say "i have to go beat my children now," when i just mean i have to lay down the law. it makes dh so mad and i've always said "i'm joking - no one who actually spanks their kids would say this." now i realize that they do and i will stop my stupid joking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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My dad's new wife offered me some constructive advice a few weeks ago. I stopped her and asked if we were "no longer following the rule of polite society that says you don't tell other people how to parent? 'cause I have a bunch of observations I'd love to share with you on your son." It has not come up again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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OP: Ha! Love it. Great way to shut 'em up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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Normal 2yo behavior. I won't spank but I use the stroller as my control ie you run off and you will be put in the stroller - this seems to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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ita works for us [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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OP: thanks. that's a good idea. will try. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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I don't spank but my 2 y.o. is required to hold my hand, be carried or be strapped into the stroller. If she bolts one time, she is automatically strapped into the stroller no matter how much she protests. Also, check yourself - do you follow through with your warnings? If your brother felt strongly enough to say something, maybe it's about more than running (or your bro is a know it all.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. It did make me stop and think about whether we're disciplining my ds enough and i don't think we are. What else do you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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I am no expert. My 2 y.o. is our 3rd and I've learned that it's easier to be proactive in parenting than retroactive. So, it's worth it to me to fight the battle to get her into a highchair (at a restaurant) than deal with her falling off a chair and spilling her food everywhere. Just like I'd rather fight the battle of getting her into a stroller than chase her. But when my older kids are with me I can let her hold one of their hands so she feels more grown up and I feel she's safe. It's easier to compromise when you have more help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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^also - i love the book 1,2,3 Magic. It says it's for kids ages 2 - 12 but I think 2 is a bit young. But I like his no nonsense, no yelling, no spanking philosophy. The author is Thomas Phelan (I think.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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your brother may have easy kids. my first was easy and i judged thought I was the greatest mom in the world. then #2 came and I learned!!! 2 year olds run it happens ecspecially on vac when they are not comfortable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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