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07.14.08, 18:29 PM NY Schools
27 replies
I really hate it that I feel like i have ot hide where my dc is going to school for k in Sept. I feel like if someone asks I have to feel guilty or something becasue they will think I am bragging. It is crazy. i am truly curious about where some of dc's friends are going but I feel as if I can;t ask because I am just fishing for them to ask where my dc is going. This is so wrong. Even someone whom I consider one, if not the best mommy friend I have, acts like this towards me (and no, I am not paranoid, others have commented on how this person is acting lately.) Why can't we all be adults here and just be happy for one another. Yes, I know we are VERY lucky and we are VERY grateful and fortunate as to dc's placement, but why does that mean that I can't be happy about it? I am happy for others that got into schools we did not get into. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
NY Schools 07.14.08, 06:29 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

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we are having the same experience. we have decided never to say unless asked directly. it is ridiculous, but after all the negative comments and nastiness, we decided to keep our heads low. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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op: Well, congrats to your dc! it is really ridiculous that grown adults have to act like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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thank you! same to you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Try being legacies at the top 2 SS with a dc in each. Brutal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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yeah, brutal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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yes, because of reactions just like YOURS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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b$tch jealous much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Yawn how boring [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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op: you are one of the ones I am talking about. Congrats to you legacy mom! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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Thank you, you are the first person to say that to me. :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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op: You are very welcome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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np: it's nice that you two found eachother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 01:57 AM Flag
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yes, that must really be brutal legacy mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 02:00 AM Flag
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We don't say anything. Never mention it, never ask, avoid all school discussions. What I don't understand is why you care where your friends dcs are going if you know your contribution will most likely be painful for them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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np: why is it so painful? when my dfs were going through this, we talked about it and I waas happy for them. others going through this with us had been very open, as was I...sharing the ups and downs of the process and supporting each other. all of a sudden, I am a pariah. did nothing worng, just got a better placement than some. I am happy for those who did well, and don't see why some can't be normal and nice. I really don't get it. had we ended up at last choice, I would not have held it against anyone who did better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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people, esp women, are competitive. The men in my group did not engage in the foolishness. I didn't either but then we were all just praying we would fail it was sick [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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op: Because my dc is good friends with a lot of these kids and some of them were trying for same school as us. Why is it so wrong to want to know where they are going? i am not just asking so that I have an in to tell them where our dc is going. A lot of us talked about he whole process since it started. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Well obviously they did not have a great result so just drop it. Eventually everyone will know where everyone else is going and people will let it go. It has been this way since even our mothers were applying us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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maybe they are like OP, and are not saying for the same reasons. lots of assumptions by everyone... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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I know what you mean...my friends really wanted me to say with them instead of taking her to private schools and now they say rude things like, if I were I'd rather have a bigger house than yours...but I know they just say cause they love me, miss me and are a little jealous that we can provide a really great private education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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If it helps at all, your post is a lesson to those of us applying out this year. I hereby promise to swallow my jealousy and disappointment and be happy to hear where my (rich/connected/legacy/brilliant) best friend's kid got in, even if my own is shut out! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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op: But the thing is, it is not even a private- it is a public G&T [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 08:52 PM Flag
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I can relate. It's weird to feel so excited yet apologetic at the same time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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seriously find other things to be "curious" about - read a book [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 04:58 AM Flag
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Flash forward 5 years later - df and i have kids in two seperate schools - on paper my dc's school is the more presigous and dc has had a fantastic academic experience with amazing teachers. Df's kid has had a very good experience as well and frankly both df and her kid have had a BETTER social experience than we have. Both kids will do fine in the big picture and nothing is perfect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 05:00 AM Flag
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You have a very strange social crowd. Among our friends and acquaintances everyone is either very happy with where DC is going, or they have made peace with it. And no one would betray feelings of resentment even if they experienced them. Either this is in your imagination or it's time to find new friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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really? I never even thought of that. My mom friends are all happy for each other, even people who did not get dc into one of their top 3 choices. I think you just need to let it go. If people are unhappy that is their thing, not yours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 06:33 AM Flag
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