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07.14.08, 16:23 PM NY Schools
42 replies
Anyone discouraged from applying to certain privates because you (the parents) would not fit in? TIA [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
NY Schools 07.14.08, 04:23 PM Flag
 

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yes, while the educational consultant we were working with suggested that a great school for DD would be Brearly (and dd is very verbal and bright, top erbs), we decided at a very late stage that it wouldn't fit us. we are somewhat religious jews - we keep kosher etc - and felt that dd would feel very left out at lunchtime, birthday parties (on saturdays would be problematic) etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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Interesting considering how jewish it is for most UES ss [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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That is not saying much at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:58 PM Flag
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Did you go to brearley, do you have a dd there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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Before you jump down my throat, read what you wrote. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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There are many Jews at many of them, not just Brearley, but she said they were religious and kept kosher - there are fewer like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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wouldn't that be true for most non-jewish schools? My friend, whose family is also religious/conservative (keep kosher etc.) has her kids at Fieldston, which is quite jewish, and it has been an issue for them too. The school wouldn't even allow them to bring in kosher food for lunch, so the kids are very limited in what they can eat at school. She said all the b-day parties are on saturdays, and they are pretty much the only religious family in any of their grades. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 05:52 AM Flag
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Never, but I grew up here. That may make a difference I don't know [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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YES it does make a difference! PFFT! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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please.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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Almost, we were discouraged BY certain privates and knew we didn't want to fit in... same thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:28 PM Flag
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You mean they made it obvious they didn't want you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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No, I was being "clever". We didn't like them!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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Oh, uh huh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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OP-haven't been discouraged b/c of ERB scores but because of our finances, or social status. Although, we're not asking for FA. It just bums me out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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IME and I have been here my entire life, that is just silly. There are all kinds of people and school is about your dc not you good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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That's what I thought too. And, it wasn't like we were asking about Dalton or Trinity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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Trinity is so down to earth IMO, what on earth would intimidate you about dalton? abrasive new money blah.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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I've just been trying to gather on information on the different schools and when I talk to others they seem to talk more about me and DH "fitting in" than our dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:42 PM Flag
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Well don't gather any info from this board. Everyone here has their own agenda and you have no idea what anyone is really like. Do you have any friends who are from the city and have dcs and relatives in a widespread sampling of schools? We know a lot about the individual feel or culture of each school that really you can't know from a visit or listening to the opinion of someone who applied. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:46 PM Flag
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I was asking someone who had kids in two different schools. So, I was a little surprised when told it was more about me. My DH is from here so his attitude is--my city we should go where we want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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I agree with him, that is how we felt. Of course, we had very little choice in the matter, I think that is an ignorant response your friend gave, sounds to me like she has an agenda to keep you out, or discouraged from applying to her school or those schools she was talking about. you pick the school you like. The less you care about fitting in the better off you will be in the process and FWIW here is a tip I live by: it is always the ones from somewhere else other than NYC who try the hardest to be the elitists at these schools. All of my alum friends are the down to earthers at our school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:54 PM Flag
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Thank you. You really need b.s. filters in this city. Anyway, I'll just go by my gut when visiting the schools this fall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:58 PM Flag
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And remember that you cannot lose with any of the schools here, we are all lucky to have such wonderful options I wouldn't say any school was bad [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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I had a friend like that who kept asking me why I wanted to send dc to a school with all those "rich" "as*holes", you know what she was wrong. Apply where you want and see how it goes. You'll like some schools, love some & dislike others, but not because you are not rich. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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That's what UB says. I didn't find Dalton to be like that. I met lots of really down to earth and diverse families there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:56 PM Flag
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I am not quoting UB I know the school well, its just an opinion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:57 PM Flag
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i guess you hung out w the wrong crowd/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:02 PM Flag
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the wrong crowd? no idea what you are saying. what crowd of dalton dcs did you hang out with as a parent? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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unless you are a current parent or student, you can [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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What is to be discouraged by? This is NYC, every time you turn a corner someone is richer than you are [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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or poorer! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:35 PM Flag
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Sure, or poorer, whatever. Why be intimidated at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:36 PM Flag
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Nope but then this is my town [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:36 PM Flag
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my kind of town Chicago is... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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I think it's foolish to rule out schools bec you might not fit in. It's about your dc's education! This is the silliest thing I've heard. It's not some country club. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:06 PM Flag
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I am always surprised by how insecure and desperate women in this city can be [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:07 PM Flag
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psd discouraged us from applying to a certain progressive school, said "socially" wouldn't be right for us -- I guess we're not cool enough for it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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That is PSD brokering your smart dc away from that school in favor of another family. Any PSD who says stuff like that is an idiot and doesn't have the best interest at heart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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Either that or her kid's erb wasn't high enough and psd was letting them down gently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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Yes. PSD cautioned us about certain schools not being a good fit for us as parents. We listened politely, then applied everywhere because we wanted to see for ourselves. In the end, she was right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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Just the opposite. We were encouraged to apply to privates, even though we couldn't afford it. We should have been discouraged because dd has a July birthday and we need FA. Not a great combo. Got WL across the board. So relieved when we got a G&T placement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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