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07.14.08, 14:55 PM Expecting
16 replies
does anyone have advice, or recommendation for articles/books i can give to my mom, to help her adjust to having a 2nd grandchild? i'm an only child, and a few things she's said recently have made me realize that she could use some help. she is very very focused on my dd (reminds me of how she was w/ me, which drove me crazy growing up), and recently mentioned that she wants to give the new db a present so that dd (who is 5 btw) won't think that my mom doesn't like the new baby. (??) i know she'll need to learn how to divide her attention between the two grandchildren, but would like to offer some gentle suggestions on how to do this. any advice? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Expecting 07.14.08, 02:55 PM Flag
 

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You're over thinking [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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ditto. don't make problems where there are none. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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no...i totally know my mom, and how totally complicated and (unintentionally) insensitive she can be. she is very unintuitive and i'd really like her to put some thought into how she interacts w/ dd, to avoid problems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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OR: what I meant was, she is the grandmother, you are over thinking her role and her interest in your DD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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mmmm...maybe, but i feel she is really obsessive about my dd (makes dd uncomfortable, too) and i'd just like to help my mom relax a little into her role and help her to have a healthy relationship w/ my dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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sounds more like you want to control and dictate the relationship your mom has with your first child. And its weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:08 PM Flag
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i don't want to control/dictate their relationship, i want to encourage it to be healthier and less obsessive. i would like to protect dd from feeling the way i did, growing up (and now), i guess... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:11 PM Flag
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but you started this post with a smokescreen about a new baby. Its more about YOUR feelings for your mom. You just have to back out and let your mom and children have their relationship and if you think the relationship is harmful then step in, but no - there are no books that will address your issues with your mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:14 PM Flag
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sorry, and tie it to the birth of a second baby/grandbaby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:15 PM Flag
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your dd is not going to feel the same way you did because your mom is not her mom. It's no where close to being the same type of relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:18 PM Flag
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ok, lets try this one, "don't start no sh*&, won't be none." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:05 PM Flag
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she'll figure it out by the time db is old enough to care [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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i'm not worried about db #2. worried about how she will treat dd now, as she has no clue how to pay attention to two kids at once. i've read suggestions in articles re: having guests who come to meet the new baby greet the older sibling first, and little things like that, can be good. my mom is very capable of traumatizing my dd by completely ignoring her and fawning over the new db. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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let it go lady. Why not wait and see what happens. Then deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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that sucks, but I doubt there are any books on the subject. Honestly, I think it will be fine, I know she hurt you, but dd already has a great mother and a grandmother really doesn't have the same ability to hurt a kid (I should know, one of my grandmother's was a complete witch). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:08 PM Flag
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so don't ever leave her alone with both. When the baby is born, have her come by when the baby is sleeping to take older child out for fun activities. have her see the baby when older one is at camp/school or occupied with your dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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