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07.14.08, 11:59 AM General Topics
47 replies
can I whine for a minute? Next week we have to go to the lake house with the ILs and extended family for the whole stinking week. DD gets so wound up there and acts up and I feel so judged! The family also judges me for my past and I never feel like I fit in. Most of the time I ignore but a whole week! Geez!Some vacation huh. SIgh [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.14.08, 11:59 AM Flag
 

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In a way I'm glad someone else feels judged. I've btdt. maybe the weather will be nice and you and dd can go down to the water and play or otherwise distace yourselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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distance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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what do you feel judged about? I know I can try to get away some but it's in the middle of nowhere Alabama and there is nowhere to go. And the house has to be just so all the time so it's hard to relax. Who puts white microsuede couches in a lake house for pete's sake? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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are you, by any chance, going to that lake in Gasden, AL or close to there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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not sure where that is. This one is near Auburn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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oh - it's going to be really hot. gasden is in north alabama and the lake is gorgeous. will you have a car? you can get away to atlanta from auburn. or are you from atlanta? and if you are, i have a question for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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I'm in Atlanta - shoot. (And yes - I'm already planning my escape to Auburn for dinner with DH at least once!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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if you DH is going to be there and he doesn't step in to help with your dd or stand up against your in-laws judgement, there is a real problem with your dh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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it's more of an undercurrent of judgement. Nothing so easy as out and out blatent statements etc. We are talking about how best to handle the situation since BIL told us what he knew recently. Just very uncomfortable right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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i'm the pg one from below. but going on a girls' trip with some friends next month. we're staying at the intercontinental. will we be able to walk anywhere from there or should we rent a car? my friends will want to go out for nice dinners and drinks. from the map it looks like it's right on an interstate which may be bad? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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not sure where that is - downtown? Buckhead? I'll google if you want to hold on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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looks like there are 3. 1 in Buckhead, 1 in sandy springs and one near tha airport. Do you know which one it is? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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oh - sorry - it's in buckhead. but i haven't been there in 20 yrs so i have no clue if that's a walkable area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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trying to figure out how to use the map on the site! In general, Buckhead is not very walkable. There is a shuttle that goes around, I think for free. They should be able to tell you about that at the hotel. Atlanta is not very walkable really. One of ths things I don't like about it. You should be able to have fun though! What are you going to do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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i plan to a) sleep, b) lounge by the pool, c) read and d) hang out with my friends - all in that order. they are all big partiers so i will definitely be hanging out at the hotel alone at night while they party. but that is fine with me. i'm psyched for the change of scenery and the break from normal life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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also - is there a place with highland in the name that is a fun place to shop? is that close to buckhead? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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virginia-highlands is the area. It's closer to midtown (4 or 5 miles from buckhead I would guess) Near piedmont park. It's pretty small but very nice. Mid town has gotten really nice but I haven't been anywhere lately. What kinds of things do you want to shop for? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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sorry, but you have to go to the lake house? Just spend quality time with your dd and ignore others [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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yes. Have to go. For the whole week. I get tons of quality time with DD all the time (SAHM) and she gets so worked up with her cousins around that she stops being fun and I have to be mean mom. Sigh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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You sound like such a spoiled brat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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aww- that's mean. She doesn't come off like a brat at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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I have to go to the lake house? I get tons of qt with dd all the time... so she's not fun.... give me a break! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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That probably came out wrong. I just meant that it's not like I never get to see DD b/c I work FT. In that case, yes, I would probably look forward to that aspect of things. But when routine changes, it's hard to deal with a 3yo who is in a tantruming stage. That's all I meant. I end up having to be the mean one all the time trying to keep some semblance of order and make sure she eats well and sleeps enough [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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well, remember that it is vacation and she's 3 and probably doesn't get to see cousins much, so give her a bit of extra space [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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true and I do, but I can't let her scream constantly in a small house! Thanks! ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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I still don't see anything wrong!? I can empathize [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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I said I was whining. I know it's not a big problem compared to what some haev (and what I have dealt with in the past) but it sucks to be stuck with people who judge you for your past and not feel comfortable around "family". K? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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maybe you're perceiving the judgement? Just try and go with the flow and remember its only a week [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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that is what I thought but I recently found out from BIL that it's real. Made me feel less crazy to know it's actually happening, but sad that it's real too if that makes any sense. My new mantra "it's only a week!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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how does your bil know? does he judge you? is he judged too? can you two form some sort of pact? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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he talks to his sisters and mom so he knows what has been said. I have kind of a sordid past which stemmed from some abuse in my teen years. Nothing I'm proud of and I try to live better now, but hey - no one is perfect! And everything I did is pretty standard reaction to sexual abuse. BIL will not be there. If he was coming, I would at least have fun with him! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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but you dh is going to be there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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yes. He is more relaxed around his family of course, but he also gets worked up and they sometimes have big fights. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around everyone. Sounds fun doesn't it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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next year the 3 of you should take a vacation alone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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We would love to but we are kind of broke right now. Maybe in a few years. DH's whole family does this every yearand we are sort of expected to attend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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At least its temporary- one week, then its over. Keep that in mind. If you have to endure it, remind yourself that it is only 1 week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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good point. Thanks. I think I can bring enough wine to get through 1 week!! ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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A week is a long time even to be with family you like. Can you pull back as dh is getting wound up and just watch him being wound up- without reacting to him? You don't have to like the people, just be civil and decent, bring a good book, and take walks to get away. Maybe some wine, too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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maybe this will make you feel better: i already spent 10 days on vacation with the inlaws in the spring. we've got our family trip coming up in a few weeks and guess who just decided to join us? yep - the inlaws. they're not staying WITH us but got a condo about a mile up the beach from ours. didn't even ask and no - they are not easy to be around. let's make a deal - i'll bite my tongue if you'll bite yours. and you drink for me b/c i'm pg. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Why doesn't your dh put his foot down? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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or: we've been married for 10 years and while it took me a while to figure out, this is a train that can not be stopped. this is really not about him putting his foot down. i know it seems easy to say we should just tell them no but it doesn't work like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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cancel your vacation and reschedule it, but don't tell them. they'll get the hint. Signed, btdt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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lol - trust me - dh tried to change the week but couldn't make it work b/t his projects and our kids' school calendar. it would have been the best way to deal but now it's either deal with his parents or back out completely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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I mean cancel that place and go elsewhere [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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LOL! I will drink for you! No prob! Sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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You should hurry up and get your dd a puppy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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