UrbanBaby

07.12.08, 21:23 PM General Topics
4 replies

I am the mother who talked earlier of the 3.5 yr old and bedtime tantrums and the recent marital split. I honestly don't know how to handle it. When I do remain in his bedroom, stroking his head, trying to lull him to sleep, he just won't go to sleep. The only way he eventually will, is after I leave the room, and the he starts screaming or trying to come downstairs. I absolutely hear what you all are saying, I know that this split has repercussions for my children. I just genuinely am seeking advice about what to do. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 09:23 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

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UrbanBaby Support

I have not BTDT (the divorce situation) but my instinct is this--a lot has changed for this kid in some not great ways. All kids need consistency and routine and he needs it extra & above that. So my impulse would be to establish a very consistent, loving, iron-clad routine for bedtime every night (same time, same order of events, etc.) Spend some extra time reading in bed w/ him, snuggling, talking if he wants to. And then that's it. If he comes out of bed then say "it's bedtime and we stay in bed & sleep" and put him back. Any time after that just silently walk him back--make it so there is no upside to him getting up/stalling. But this is only my opinion and I know not everyone would agree. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:27 PM Flag

thank you, I appreciate that advice, it helps, and I will try it. AT the moment all we do is end up having an argument, my little boy saying to me "you get back in here", and me saying no, I'm going downstairs", it kind of gets endless. Thanks. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:32 PM Flag

I would get a small bed of some kind that you can put beside your bed and let him sleep there for the time being. His entire world as he has known it has ended. He's terrified. What's to keep you from disappearing too (just thinking like a kid here)? Don't bring him into your bed, but do get a bed of some kind and let him sleep nearby. GL to you both. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:47 PM Flag

^^ and I just read that it happens when his father leaves. Have his father do his bedtime routine on those nights and tuck him in. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:51 PM Flag