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07.12.08, 09:09 AM General Topics
26 replies
How many m/cs do you think you could go through (or have gone through) to have a child? starting to feel like I can't keep going through this... [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 09:09 AM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

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I'm sorry for your losses. I had one early (9 weeks), one at 20 and one at 21 weeks - finally got my baby! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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how did you hold yourself together during the losses? two of those were very late! i'm so sorry you had to go through that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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Thank you and yes, it is horrific. But, in all honesty, you have no choice. You wake up everyday and you have to live. I'm "goal oriented" or was in ttc and I just had to keep my eye on the prize. I wanted a baby, and I was going to do everything I could to get one. I dind't have a guarantee that it would happen, but at the end of the road I was not going to have one single regret that I did not do all that I could to make it happen. My faith got me thru the dark days of my babies dying. And my single minded focus got me thru the days of tests, ttc, worry, d&c's etc. Once that pregnancy innocence is gone (and yours is too), it is so hard to be pregnant! But, you sometimes just have to throw your heart over the bar and let your body follow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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your post got cut off - would like to see everything you have to say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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The new UB does that, they don't actually get cut off, if you click on it you get to see the rest on a screen all by itself and then to go back you click on see more posts - but basically all I said was throw your heart over the bar and your body will follow. How many losses have you had? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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3 in a row in the past 8 months. no dc yet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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Where do you live? May I butt in medically? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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sure [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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i live in nyc. and am seeing RE at cornell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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Then you are most likely in very good hands. So, you just have to work on the mental stuff to keep yourself sane. There was always a time in between losing a baby and being ablt to ttc and those times made me crazy. I just looked at it as time being wasted. But, I would find a project to do. I'm really happy when I have a clean, organized home. So, if I knew that we would not be able to ttc for two months I would organize the closets or paint the kitchen - something like that to help pass the time. I also made sure dh and I were on the healthy ttc lifestyle thing too. Its hard. But you have to find something to fill a little time that makes you happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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my life is actually very full. very busy job. but still very sad. want to try again but am afraid i will just collapse if we have another loss. am thinking maybe in november i will try... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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you won't collapse. I promise. My grandmother had 7 losses before she had my dad!! That was a long, long time ago too. You just have to keep checking in with yourself, making sure you are still willing to be in the fight, taking care of yourself, and your marriage - and plodding along in the ttc department. It's not a joy anymore for people like us - but keep your eye on the prize. Best of luck to you!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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thank you for all of your encouragement. i hope to be able to post back good news by the new year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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you are going to think I"m crazy - but I just have this feeling you will get your baby soon. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:52 AM Flag
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you are very kind. ty! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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how old are you? did you have any testing done on the fetus after miscarriage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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i am now 36. first was chromosomal. second one they lost the tissue, third one is still pending. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:36 AM Flag
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Random chromosomal is a good thing. My 9 weeks was trisomy 15. I found comfort in the fact it was random. I'm sorry they lost the tissue - that is adding insult to injury for sure! When do you think you will know about number 3? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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don't know. kind of not expecting to get any results after our experience with the second loss. but should be soon if it's coming. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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36 is great! You have time and chances are you will get your db!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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Oh! thank you! have been starting to give up hope a bit, despite my best efforts. that helps to hear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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Don't give up until you know that 10 years from now if the topic comes up, you will be comfortable saying - I gave it my best shot. I have a friend who just stopped and that is what she needed to do to have a happy life - so we are all different. Know your heart, know your mind and stay true to both. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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click "options", then click on "link to this post" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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I'm really sorry. That sounds so hard. I've never been through that--I've never actually been pg. But I remember how totally devastating and awful infertility was. I can tell you that once your baby finds you it is so worth it, so wonderful. Take care of yourself and your marriage and just hang in there. I remember when we had one potential adoption fail and I was so sad and DH said "let's get back on the bus. We won't get anywhere if we just sit in one place waiting" and he was so right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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I hope you are in therapy. I too had 3 miscarriages from October-May. The last one was on Mother's Day, I was alone with DD because DH was out of town and totally checked out on the miscarriage front. Never had any testing done. I got pregnant with #2 in June -- right after m/c #3. It was the most miserable time of my life, and in fact the depression carried through my otherwise totally normal pregnancy. It took a really long time to heal -- well past when my son was born. Good luck to you. Find someone to talk to. Express your grief and don't be ashamed of it. It sucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:06 PM Flag
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