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07.11.08, 18:16 PM General Topics
18 replies
BF and I have drastically different parenting styles. I constantly feel like a terrible mother after I've been with her despite hating the way she is with her kid. Can we stay friends? We each have 24mo boys. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 06:16 PM Flag
 

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I eventually faded as a friend becasue it was too much differences [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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If she is your bf, why can't the two of you go out without your chidren and enjoy each others company? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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Good idea but all she talks about is her kid. She's a SAHM and she is obsessed with motherhood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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i have this with a friend but our life styles are drastically different, as well as our parenting styles. i pulled back and found it much easier to hang out after i got some space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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OP: okay I'm actually stressing right now because she has asked me to babysit this weekend and this will be the first time she has EVER been apart from her 2 year old. The kid cowers when he sees me and I'm sure something terrible will happen. But she watches my kid for me all the time so how could I say no? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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nothing terrible will happen. you're too stressed to relax for one second and let that happen. lay back, be calm with the child. she trusts you. the child will be fine and she needs your help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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also, read your post below. chances are she'll give you explicit instructions, since she's a planner and knows you are not. if she doesn't, ask for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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you're right. thanks for encouragement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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you'll be fine. next time, since she's you bf just be frank -- say, (jokingly) you want me? but am i not the opposite of you parenting style-wise? you;'re sure? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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how do you styles differ? and what ends up making you feel bad? also, what don't you like abt her parenting? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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She has very well-thought out approaches whereas I just wing it. She has read all the books and can defend her every move. To me she seems hyper-vigilant. The other day I let my kid climb too high on the jungle gym and he got stuck. No big deal. I got him down but she reacted like I'd risked his life and I felt guilty and terrible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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she needs to lay off. your ds learned that sometimes you try things and they don't work out. it shouldn't keep him from climbing again. and it shoudln't keep you from letting him. but then, i'm also a bit of a winging it sort of parent. i don't get along with those who read about parenting to decide what's good for their child. maybe say something to her if she makes you feel bad about your choices. what did she say in that parituclar case? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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Thanks. She said, "Please don't ever do that again." Then packed her kid in the stroller and stormed off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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lol.. i'm laughing at her. please don't do what again? let your kid climb? let your kid explore on his own? geez. i think you can still say something to her about this. she has her right to parent as she wishes. but she has no right to judge you in front of your child abt your choices as a parent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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this is really helping me feel better - thank you! I think the fact that this happened yesterday and she's probably very worried about leaving her DS for the first time didn't help her reaction. I should probably be a good friend and try to support her through this challenge... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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you can also reassure her that you understand that she has different rules and guidelines for parenting and you would treat her kids as you think she'd want them to be treated. but it still doesnt' give her the right to criticise you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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i stopped hanging out with very good friend for same reason- glad i did. we still talk and email- but do not hang out with our kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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did you mutually decide on this? How did the discussion go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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