UrbanBaby

07.11.08, 17:44 PM General Topics
15 replies

I need advice: I have not seen my Dad but once in 15 years. The one time I saw him was 10 years ago and I initiated it (had a baby) He was not abusive but not a good Dad at all. Pretty much never spoke to me after divorce, was a drunk. Any way I have a half brother who contacts me every now and again. He invited me to his kids first birthday party. I said yes after turning down many other invites. I find out my Dad is going to be there and Iam VERY nervous. I do not wan t to go but feel bad backing out. He has not contacting me in 10 years! He says I have not contacted HIM in 10 years. I just have such anger at him. ANy one btdt?? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 05:44 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

not btdt but I would go. it's a good opportunity to open up lines of communication if that's what you want. if not, then it's a good opportunity to send the signal that you don't want that. either way it is going to be stressful. if you don't want to stress than don't go. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:46 PM Flag

I wouldn't go. I haven't spoken to my dad in 6 years and the only time I am going to see him again will be my grandmother's funeral. He has hurt me too much and I had too many years of therapy to let him back in to my life just to disappoint me again. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:46 PM Flag

I am leaning torward not going, do I just say my kids are sick or do I say I don't want to see my father? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:48 PM Flag

why not just tell the truth and say you are not comfortable seeing him? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:49 PM Flag

I don't know why...I guess it is like saying fU dad. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:51 PM Flag

How close are you with your half-brother? I would be honest with him. That way you can avoid the annual awkwardness and if you want a relationship with you half-brother you can suggest another time to get together. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:51 PM Flag

i agree tell the truth and send a gift. make a date to meet w/out your "father" [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:53 PM Flag

this sounds good [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:54 PM Flag

My fil abandoned his 7 dcs when the youngest was 12. I married #6. After years of silance we contacted the SS administration and sent him a letter. He was in fact alive and living alone (very fitting) in Tucson. We saw him a few times and dh made his peace. You need to make yours too. gl! You have your own family now don't worry. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:48 PM Flag

make my peace by going? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:50 PM Flag

yes by all means. If you don't go then he is still controlling you. Free yourself. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:53 PM Flag

i like this advice... but don't think the bday party is the place to make your peace. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:05 PM Flag

only met him once [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:53 PM Flag

I don't think I'd go. You might already have your peace, you know? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:51 PM Flag

I would go. If nothing else, you committed to go, [ Reply | More