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07.11.08, 14:11 PM General Topics
23 replies
nanny needs advice: left family for new job. they were not very nice: no bonuses...didn't talk much .50 raises-couldn't afford $1 & then bought a hosue & car. i am sitting for them 1 last time next week & want to tell them how i feel about how they treated me. i don't need them as a ref. i mean they gave me NOTHING after 3 years of p/t perfect (no sick/late) service. i have 7 yrs, college grad, native nyrkr. they have no clue how angry/hurt i feel. how should go about this? i want them to know how i feel. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:11 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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I wouldn't sit for them. didn't you post about this? cancel it and let it go. they aren't worth your time or energy to think about. being zen and moving on is the best revenge. it isn't easy, but so not worth your time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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i did, yes. & i did cancel, but i gotta give this boy his b-day stuff & i'm really trying hard to move on UGH..it's killing me if i don't say something because then i think they think it was okay to treat me that way...but i do get what you're saying...i gotta stop thinking about it. thanks.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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why are you still giving him a b-day present? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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because i am a professional, i love him & it isn't his fault his parents are a__holes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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You sound like a really sweet person. I wish I knew you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 10:17 PM Flag
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np well, it's not the kid's fault his parents are jerks. Be sweet to him and let it go. Be the bigger person. ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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I know it's not his fault, but I think it would be better for him to let you go. It's hard enough to loose a nanny you had for 3 years, no point in dragging it out, especially if you really don't want contact with the parents in the future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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itttttta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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mail the gifts or drop them off. or don't even send them. I know it is a kid and all, but you seriously owe them nothing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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I agree with the others just move on. Saying something won't change anything at this stage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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Why shouldn't she unload on her employers. I say bring it on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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if they are this bad, and she is so upset, it isn't bound to make her feel better. too much emotion tied up to have fruitful confrontation. she can however write a letter to vent then burn it or something very symbolic of ending relationship [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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now that is a good idea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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np well she could. But what good would it do? They most likely won't change. She would get all worked up about it and still feel unresolved and you never know if you might someday need them for a ref for some reason. No sense in burning bridges IMHO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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How much did they pay you? There are so many employers/jobs out there where raises are rather an exception than the norm. Besides the money how are they treating you? How are the kids? If you are unhappy with your current position just look for a new one, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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It's your own fault for not saying anything sooner and for staying on for so long. At this point, what's done is done. No sense in burning the bridge now after 3 years of working for them. You never know how your new job will turn out. You could be job hunting 3 mos from now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 03:19 PM Flag
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Nanny here - I say go ahead and confron them , you have nothing to lose (if this is affecting you so much)- , be very calm and rational but let them know exactly how you feel, you could start by telling them exactly what you told us - come on confront them- (people usually hate confrontation, it will make you feel better) - and also make it better for their next Nanny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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You all are nuts. There's no reason to say a word at this point. They may think she's a shining star, and by saying something you end up losing someone that was in your corner. Honestly, it's totally your fault. You couldn't have just found out they were jerks. You've been dealing with it all along. JUST LET IT GO! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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you are the one that's NUTS, everyone is entitled to their opinion and mine is CONFRONT CONFRONT CONFRONT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 04:56 PM Flag
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I'm very curious as to how many of the responders are employers of nannies. Honestly, I agree that OP should just send bday gift in mail, or not bother sending it all, but I also see nothing wrong with her stating her feelings. Sometimes one puts up with poor treatment because it's their jobs, or they have an odd sense of loyalty and justify putting up with that treatment as being loyal. To say this is OP's fault is a bit harsh and puts no responsibility on the employers. Yes, they made it easier for them to get away with the shabby treatment, but that doesn't mean it's okay. They should have some sort of compass as to how to treat people. Do either of them work for 7 years without a raise? I mean, come on! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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I employ software engineers. I only give raises when people increase their responsibilities. The more value you bring to the company, the more you get paid. If you keep doing the same job, you keep getting the same salary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 10:19 PM Flag
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Tell them! I had two families just like this and I didn't need them as references. The main difference is that I didn't want to bitch them out for how they treated me as much as their own children. Either way, I have always regretted it! Tell them when you know you will have absolutely no contact with them from there on out. Don't get too angry or hysterical though; you will seem like the crazy one. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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