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07.10.08, 04:51 AM New York City
4 replies
Financially I can't see leaving my husband, but our marriage is long gone. I work full time, am always stressed, and am overweight so can't see meeting another man & don't feel like I really care. Care about my health though. I think I need to rally & get in shape both physically & financially -- so hard with 3 kids & little support from friends &, of course, zippo from husband. I just don't think I can take his mental abuse anymore & I need to move on. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 07.10.08, 04:51 AM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

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so sorry you are going through this but sounds like you know what you have to do. Start slow with the working out but it gets addictive when you see results and you feel empowered. I did this (3-4 times a wk) for 30min on the treadmill and 15min of lifting weights. The weight dropped off fast. I'm big so this was huge for me. You can do it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 04:52 AM Flag
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I feel bad for you. You have to start by beleiving you can get through this. Is there anyway that you can involve the kids in excercise? What's happening financially - do you make enough money and spend too much? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 04:55 AM Flag
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I am not going to address the exercise issue. Frankly its bizarre that of all the issues you mention the only thing people want to solve is your being fat. Can you describe his mental abuse? That will help point to a practical solution. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:31 AM Flag
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OP: In a way I feel like talking about his mental abuse is a moot point. Nothing is going to change in our relationship, so whether I stay with him or not I need to focus on me & my happiness. But since you asked, he is standard mode with me is either aggressive or passive aggressive. He behaves as if he hates me. Folds the laundry after I do it, but won't fold mine. Expects me to drive him to see his parents (he physically can't drive) but if he goes to mine he pouts the entire time & makes everyone miserable. Whenever I ask him to help me to do something in the house or with the kids he says, "Why can't you do it." I think our marriage was iffy from the beginning, but he didn't want to have 3 kids & when our twins were born he said: "You have ruined my life & now I am going to ruin yours." It is pretty black & white. Despite my begging, he won't go to therapy so it is kind of a done deal, not that I am necessarily going to leave anytime soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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