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07.09.08, 18:17 PM General Topics
38 replies
Last night I tried to have make up sex with DH and he rejected me. Think it means my marriage is over. Can't cry anymore - just numb [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:17 PM Flag
 

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what did he say in order to reject you? Was it make up sex for one argument, or were you trying to put a band aid on some big issues? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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We have major issues - and I threatened to throw him out if he doesn't want to have a relationship with me anymore and only wants to be around DCs. Now I regret it - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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what are your issues? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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we don't agree on where dcs should go to school - public vs private; he goes away all the time without saying where he going or who with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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Time for marriage counseling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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Going to do that but think it might be too late [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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honey life is to damn short to be wasting it away on this and that. you need to take control of your own destiny and start making some real goals for yourself and your family. why spend time whittling away at each other? compromise is the way to go. pick your fights. don't be a dummy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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I am sad for you...your friend from last night, I can recommend a good marriage counselor if DH is up for it? tell hubby private vs. public school doesn't matter as much as parents who love eachother and get along. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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thanks for thinking of me. I don't know if DH will go for marriage counseling - said he would tell me b4 Sat if he wants to work on our marriage. He is strongly against private and I enrolled dcs anyway - doesn't agree that we should spend the money and resents that I did it anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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why did you do this? will money be a problem? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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it wasn't when just one dc went -- but it is a struggle with 2. I have issues with public [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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Do you work? I am a STAHM and therefore since all the financial responsibilites are on my DH I did not send DD to private, hard decision but public is good in NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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I work and am the major wage earner. Cost of privates are more than my DH takes home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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that explains alot...men basically have the need to provide and he must feel worthless sicne he can't provide the way he and or you feels he should therefore I assume it is affecting his libido, I hate $ issues theya re so hard in a marriage but of course he is against private when it's his income, I can see why must be so humiliating for him (even though it's not) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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I've always made more and it never used to be an issue - but I think that now it is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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money is can really ruin relatiosnhips but is it better to be married or for kids to be in private...really I choose hubby and marriage. My kids goes to what people think is a really crappy school PS 198 and I was so freaked out but it turns out that she get so much personal attention and the school is fine despite what people think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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I hate the fact that I struggle so much with public - I know most kids go public and are fine. I just wish DH would understand me more and why I feel so strongly about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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well everyone has their reasons, we just can't afford it so the choice was easy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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I know this has nothing to do with the OP, but can you tell me more about PS 198? We are zoned for there and have heard mixed reviews but you seem to like it a lot...what grade is your child in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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MY DD went to pre-k and we loved it, zoned for 151 but did not get into any one of our choices we cannot afford private so we are sending her to 198, I am fine w/ it but get very timid to tell peopel since it has a bad rap...yes there are rough kids and it's a pooer demographic but very small class sizes, alwasy 2 teachers the best science, gym and music teacher ever! big gym, school, yard probably one of teh best school facilities in NYC beside 158 and we live a block away so we are giving K a chance and if we hate we will move to a better school next year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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FYI, there aren't always 2 teachers in each class at 198. Maybe you had 2 in Pre-K, but come Kindergarten and subsequent grades unless you are in the CTT class, you will have 1 teacher. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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really...I meet DD K teacher and she said she has an assistant and I was told taht there were assistants in each class, are you a 198 mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Which teacher did you meet? I have been a 198 mom for a while now. I know all the teachers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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can we meet, still apprehensive about 198 but high hopes for ms. B her assistant was Ms. lagos and someone else [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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Ms. Lagos is the music teacher, not an assistant. She travels to all the classes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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yes I know...but what I am saying is taht at least ther is an assistant there at times unlike many other schools but I am a 198 newbie so plesae tell me more, what grades are your kids. Love ms. lagos! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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btw worst typer ever.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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My child is going to be in 5th grade. You are talking about cluster teachers, who don't assist classroom teachers. They come in when the classroom teacher has a prep period and teach the class subjects like art, music, science, gym, etc. They aren't assisting and there are never 2 teachers together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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well thanks Ms. Roebuck for lying to me...anyways maybe we will bump into eachother in the fall. I have the cutest daughter ever w/ pink glasses :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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You'll learn that happens often! (the lying). However, most of the teachers are fabulous! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:54 PM Flag
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I really do feel for you -- but you absolutely should not have done that. They are his dcs too; neither one of you should take the decision for yourself without the knowledge of the other. I would consider it a betrayal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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I feel torn between doing something my DH doesn't like and putting my kids in public which given our public options aren't great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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how bad? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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Put it another way: making a decision like this unilaterally w/o a spouse's consent, to me, is tantamount to ending the marriage. There can be no trust, there is no longer a partnership. If you feel you cannot resolve this to your satisfaction any other way than taking dcs and enrolling them behind dh's back, you probably should not be married to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Wow - that really stings - I never thought of it that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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I'm not trying to beat up on you, but this is the way I would honestly feel if it were me. I hope you work it out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Couldn't respond to your post below re not trying to beat me up - this has been going on for years - so it may be too late. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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