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07.09.08, 16:19 PM New York City
25 replies
Talk me down, Dh has habitual marijuana smoking problem. Decided together he would stop but he can't, now I am catching him sneaking and lying to me. I could kill him and when he is caught he screams and yells disrupts the entire house and dcs cry. I have had it! [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 07.09.08, 04:19 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

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my DH is the same more or less. "quits" and then devises some schedule to keep it in control but it always slides back into every single day. Very frustrating. I don't understand it at all. And I don't know what to do either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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Ok now I see why UB can be a good place sometimes. Does he lie and hide it from you, I think that might be why i want to kill him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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no he doesn't. He tells me when he is going. I have done everything from yelling and with holding sex to crying and trying to explain why it bothers me. I understand liking something. I like to drink beer. But if it was interfering with our relationship, I would stop or at least cut way way back. I dont get why he can't do the same. I mean, I guess I know he is addicted, but I have a hard time understanding it. you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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Yes I know believe me. Feel like I am living with someone addicted to crack. Violent mood swings when he doesn't have it childish behavior when he sneaks it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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Least he doesn't seem to ruining your family life though. If my dh doesn't get what he wants everyone back away because the roof is going to collapse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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sorry I disapeared. DD needed something. No, it's not ruining my family life but it's hard when I feel so distant from him sometimes. He doesn't seem to get it that I need him. I need to be able to talk to him and not have to cram everything I need to say to him into 10 minutes after DD goes to bed. Really frustrating. My DH doesn't get really petty or throw fits, but he can get annoying and irritated sometimes when he doesn;t have any for one reason or another [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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mine too...makes me crazy and filled with hatred...get over it already he is way too old to be smoking anyways [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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this sounds so much like some alcoholics I know. perhaps meeting w/ a group like al-anon can help put you in touch with people in similar situation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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Good advice. Do you happen to know what al anon is about, what is the point if we can't make them change, is it to get us to leave? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:29 PM Flag
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I don't know. I have not been to al-anon myself, but I know people who have found it very helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:39 PM Flag
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Thank you I will give it a try! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:40 PM Flag
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not to leave, more to learn to deal with them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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i have heard that being addicted to pot is as difficlut as any other addiction. Will he talk to someone else about it ? We have a good friend with this problem and his wife and I think he's loathe to quit because it represents his being young, carefree, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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He won't talk to anyone about it. We see a couples therapist who says I am controlling but that he has to stop and he pretend he wants to in therapy and then screams and makes it about me and breaks things when I try to take it away. I hate him. Hate him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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I am so sorry... I know from the hearing from my girlfriend (she is one of my BF's and her DH is my DH's BF since they were about 6 months old) that it is a crippler. What happens when he smokes ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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Nothing, his personality is the same - more tolerable even because he is getting what he wants I guess. But he will smoke from the moment he wakes up until he sleeps if he can, disgusting, we have children! Sorry, very upset [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:36 PM Flag
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has he always been this way or has his addiction worsened? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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worsened, he has always smoked a lot though but now its always in his mouth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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What is it - other than "it" - that upsets you ? The fact that it's illegal ? Does he not get his work done ? Are you afraid for the kids' safety ? Did he smoke when you met and married ? And how did you respond to it then ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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Well for one, we WERE going to try for #3 and his sperm levels are so low not to mention the doctor says the sperm could be defective and alter the health of the unborn db. He does work but he is lazy about it wants to call in sick a lot probably to sit around and smoke we fight about that. When we were young I figured it was like everything else, youth, but its not normal for a 45 year old to behave like this and as dcs get older they will understand what is going on and yeah that is a sh$tty example [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:40 PM Flag
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Again, I am sorry. I know the stress in this one and I can only hope that maybe you talk to someone like the other posts have said. I know what the studies say about the sperm counts, but I know so many many stoners with healthy children that I think I doubt some of the stats. That being said, if you;re so unhappy wouldn't #3 make the stress levels even worse ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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You are very nice thank you for your words, yes, and you are right #3 is not what i want or need any longer! I have found an Pot anon chat room and I am logging off to log on there - thank you!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 04:51 PM Flag
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GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:00 PM Flag
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Alanon saved my life and my marriage. It's not to keep you together or split up it's just to help you. Don't judge it by 1 meeting, make yourself go to at least 10, try different meetings to find a place you are comfortable. I never even spoke, just listened but it was the best thing I could have done, with regard to my husband and my life. We are togher now and he is in recovery, it could not hsave happned without Alanon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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that's inspiring. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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