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07.09.08, 08:45 AM Toddler
35 replies
Have to buy new stationary and will use it for school thank you notes in fall. Do I get "John and Mary Smith", "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Mary and John Smith". [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 07.09.08, 08:45 AM Flag
 

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Brad and Angie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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just get your monogram and call it a day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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I would do Mary and John Smith, but that's just me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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Thx - I just am not familiar with the etiquette here - the wife is first? Makes sense . . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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Technically, it should just say Mary Smith, Mrs. Mary Smith or Mrs. John Smith but people often put two names on it. I have 1/2 Mary Smith and 1/2 Mrs. John Smith and I used either depending on the situation. My DH never writes notes to school, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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You have a point, since I will be writing the notes. But won't they say "we loved your school" etc. as if they are from both of us? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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Technically, this is what you are supposed to do. "John and I loved your school for little junior and thought x, y and z" but it's tricky because most people don't know what formal etiquette is or care anymore and they sometimes get confused when I send notes. In any case, if you are going with two names I say scratch the Mr. and Mrs. or get a cream card with a swirly cream monogram and they won't be able to really tell whose letters are on there. I like Reaves Engraving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you - that is really helpful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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Yes, but it does make more sense to get stationary for only you - on wedding ty notes, etc., one person writes and signs them but still says "We loved..." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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-- although he has stationary too, he has just never used it. Fold over cards are more formal, note cards (like postcards) are either less formal or for men I forget. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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Do you think for the more formal, east side schools I should use fold over, Mrs. John Smith and more casual for the others? I know this sounds like minutiae but it is really helpful since I have to order the stuff pretty soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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No, I totally can see how you have to think about this! I am not even sure. I think you have to go with the type of person you are, but can do foldover for both types of schools. You don't sound like someone that would have "Mrs. John Doe" stationary so far, probably a little less over the top formal. Now I can't decide! Read the Reaves Engraving site information and read what Cranes.com says? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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I would probably pick between Mrs. Jane Doe, the cream on cream swirly initial ones so you seem vague, and John and Jane Doe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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just get all the same cards with just your name on them. write dh's name in the note, like "John and I felt that..." etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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Mr and Mrs John Smith would turn me off big time, personally. Like the Mrs doesn't have her own name? But if applying to traditional schools, that would be just fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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Unless you are applying to ss girls schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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I did all my notes on the computer on standard size business stationery. We both signed the letters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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Cannot believe someone in 2008 is considering Mr. and Mrs John Smith. Sorry, but you do have a name. Our world is regressing daily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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ITTTTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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I totally disagree. I use "Dr. and Mrs. MarriedName" socially, and professionally, "Jane MaidenName X." And I don't feel the least bit backwards. I like the feeling of unity with my husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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but why can you be Dr. John and Mrs. Mary Smith? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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go back to the 50s. or better yet, if you want unity, why not dr. and mrs jane smith? why his name. it is freaky in this day and age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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ITTTTTTTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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ITTD. I think it's fine if you personally want to do whatever, but I think it's a sign that feminism is moving forward in a way that women don't feel like they NEED to make a statement via their name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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total bs rationalization. cannot believe you believe this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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I would just use generic thank you cards, not the personalized ones. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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That is really tacky. You mean you would use the ones that say "thank you" on the front? Plain, non-monogrammed note cards are fine, but not pre-printed thank you notes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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And you are ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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so much thoughts and energy wasted on something that is going straight in the garbage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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Does anyone know if the right stationery is really important in this day and age? Perhaps for a few schools, but which ones? I guess I was naive, but I saw the letter-writing as a purely business type transaction. I was not thanking someone for the dinner party they gave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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if you're hanging your hat on the proper stationery to get in to a great private school, you're grasping at straws. Really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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Mine says "Mary J. Smith" and I signed them from me but referenced DH. E.g.: "Thank you so much for meeting with John and me yesterday. We both enjoyed the opportunity to learn more about the Fancy School . . . . " [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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I have monogrammed and Mrs. Sara Smith stationery and I used the latter for thank you notes. There are few places to use Mr. and Mrs. John Smith stationery these days. (And I am an ardent traditionalist!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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Mary and John Smith [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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