UrbanBaby

07.09.08, 05:44 AM General Topics
14 replies

need serious advice!! baby nurse was amazing - unbelievable. now she returned from her country to work for me as a nanny for 2 months. db is 6 mo & i use cio method of sleep training. my db is the happiest. she thinks i'm a psychotic lunatic for using cio & makes comments, suggestions, & won't follow it when I'm out. it's like a really annoying in-law now. what should i do? stick it out for the 2 mos or find her another job her as baby nurse (someone i know needs a nurse) [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 05:44 AM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

maybe you should listen to her advice. i think you're a lunatic for letting a 6 month old cio too. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:46 AM Flag

great, but if you had a nanny who thought cio was the proper method & didn't abide by your wishes to pick up the db each time it peeped, what would you do? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:47 AM Flag

op:btw, he only cio's for about 10 mins! then falls asleep. sleeps about 10 hrs at night (wakes at 4ish daily) and i nurse him back to sleep for another 2. i'm not talking about hardcore sleep training. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:49 AM Flag

np ignore the "CIO is mean" crowd. That is not the issue here and they can't see past the end of their own noses [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:52 AM Flag

op: leaving right now, but will check on the answers when i get back. thanks for any advice. i'm so upset. i feel like paying her for the time & sending her back (although i know she won't accept the $). oy. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:47 AM Flag

can you just ask her to do what you ask and keep her opinion to herself? Seems like you know how you want DB raised. She has a right to her thoughts on the matter, but not to try to change your mind. You are the employer after all [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:51 AM Flag

its no consolation but I find a number of nationalities don't go with cio (my Russian nanny was appalled) I did it successfully and have not regretted it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:51 AM Flag

We had something similar. A great baby nurse w/ #2. At 5 mnoths, w/ ped's blessing, we were ready to do CIO. I talked to the baby nurse about it and she said she wouldn't do it. We actually parted ways at that point. But we had not commited beyond that time with her, so slightly different. If you know that you can line up another job for her that fits with her philosophy, then I think I would go that route. And I don't think you're a lunatic for CIO. We did it for 2 nights w/ dd, she didn't cry long at all, and we were totally done. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 05:52 AM Flag

Well, if she won't follow your directives then you really have no choice but to send her on her way. However, are you expecting her to do all the heavy lifting in the CIO? Is she alone while db is crying his lungs out for naps? That is very hard to listen to if you really think the db is suffering. Have you tried sitting w/her and watching the clock to show her it is really only 10 mins? It may not seem worth it to her if db is crying for 20 mins just for a 30 min nap. In that case maybe you could try something diff like her taking db for a walk in the stroller for naps. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:02 AM Flag

I dunno, it's going to be hard to find a sitter who will follow your directions to the t. or they'll tell you they will then they won't. I don't know of a nanny who doesn't have annoying opinions about how you should do things and who doesn't just go ahead and do things her way re: bedtimes (later than I ask), tv (too much), food (whatever they ask for rather than what they should have). so annoying. the important thing for me is that the kids are safe. so, i put up with it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:23 AM Flag

NP-That is amazing to me. It would be completely unacceptable for someone in charge of my kids to disregard my rules on sleep, eating or discipline. I know how I want my children raised and sI am not going to pay somebody who is not on going to assist me in that. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:30 AM Flag

It's always tough to get other caretakers to do things the way you want to. I have a constant battle with my nanny re: naps. I can always tell when dd didn't have a decent nap in the afternoon and her entire routine gets affected. Bottom line, your db, your rules. This woman is an employee of yours. Perhaps you can stress that you're trying to get your db to learn to self-soothe, you're not looking to torture her. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:29 AM Flag

Send her on her way. Some of the best baby nurses make the worst nannies. If she is driving you crazy get riid of her. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:14 AM Flag

Does anyone know where I can find a great live-in russian speaking nanny who drives? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 01.05.09, 06:12 PM Flag