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07.08.08, 10:45 AM General Topics
48 replies
any rec's on methods i can use to get 1 yo DB that will only fall asleep while nursing or rocking to fall asleep on his own? i don't want to do endless CIO. i don't mind the rocking/nursing when it works, but lately it seems to take forever and really takes away the time i have to get things done and spend time with older DC. TIA [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 10:45 AM Flag
 

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I'm still nursing 17 mos to bed at night. I have gone through periods where I get really frustrated with the time it takes. But I've accepted it, and it's our time together to bond (work f/t and have older dc). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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does your db fall asleep easily. i agree with you for the most part but for example this morning i haven't been able to get DB to fall asleep yet. every time i get up he wakes up. he's been awake since 4AM and i have someone coming to my place in 40 minutes so pretty much we're screwed for the day. wondering if it's my fault and if he could fall asleep on his own would he have done so already vs. waking up b/c of me getting up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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We do CIO for naps (although I'm pretty sure that babysitter & MIL who takes care of dc use the stroller to get her to nap, instead of putting her in her crib, which is what we do on weekends). At night, it can take 45 minutes sometimes before she falls asleep. Some nights, it only takes 15 minutes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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i can't reply to your reply below. honestly, was doing the stroller thing for awhile but unfortunately it usually takes me about an hour of walking to get him to fall asleep. all of these things would be fine if i dind't have older dc to worry about. but today that is what we're going to do b/c i have no choice bc cleaners will be here now in 20 minutes so i'll walk him for 2 hours before i have to go pick up dd.....signed very tired mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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let him nurse to sleep until you wean him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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see above and tell me what you think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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sounds about right. None of my kids really started to sleep well and fell asleep on their own before the age of 18 months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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I think you pretty much have to decide one way or the other. If you don't want to do CIO, you are kind of stuck nursing to sleep. Then youhave to start thinking about how you will handle it when you wean. Have you tried nursing til DB is sleepy and almost out and then putting in the crib? Sometimes that can help transition [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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unfortunately if he's not totally sleeping for awhile, the minute i stand up his eyes open wide and he panics and starts screaming. if it's the middle of the night i can leave the room and he'll stop crying in less than 30 seconds but any other time will just keep screaming. i've never let it go long b/c it breaks my heart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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then there is your answer. Maybe read some books on CIO and see if you think you can stand it. Otherwise, you may just have to go to bed with your kid til he is 4yo or so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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aghhhhhh....aren [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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aren't there some options in between CIO and sleeping with DS until he's 4! i don't fit in his crib anyway! lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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I would hope so! It just seems to me that my friends who did not do CIO, end up having to lay down with the kid for years after weaning to get them to go to sleep. Think about the CIO thing. It's hard but IMHO worth it. I always felt DD was crying for hours, but when I actually timed it, it was usually less than 15 or 20 minutes. She sleeps like a champ now at 3yo and our bedtime routine takes us about 10 minutes. So very nice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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same with our dc. totally recommend CIO. If you do it correctly the first time it takes just a few days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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it depends on the child [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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With #1 I had to sleep next to her bed on the floor for the first two, two and a half years. It was a phase. Once she got through this she slept like a rock and had no problems going to sleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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OR and I'm just not willing to do that. I need some free adult time with DH. I can't spend hours coaxing my kid to sleep. I just won't do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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ok, those are your priorities. Btw, we are not talking about hours. Maybe 30-45 minutes max depending on the night. Again, whatever works for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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ITA and what works for you. Not saying it's right or wrong - just that it doesn't suit my family. Glad it works for you ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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CIO is not "endless" at all. Mine cried for about 45 minutes the first night, 30 the second, a little less the third. WIthin a week db was going to bed awake with no crying at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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why do i have this fear that it will work but db will forever hate me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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You are irrational. Teaching your db to fall asleep on his own is a gift. Read Andrew Weissbluth's book and follow his instructions exactly. You will not be sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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lol, you must know me, yes, i am irrational. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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because CIO sucks and you don't have to do it. it's your motherly instinct. There is really no need for this unless his needs to get to sleep more than just an inconvenience to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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you must be one of those mothers who stay with their 5 yo until they fall asleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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nope. believe it or not at around 18-24 months most kids (and I have four of them) will sleep just fine and go to sleep just fine. Many parents are not willing to ride it out that long anymore, though. Oh, and yes, if my 5yo needs some cuddling for a while in order to go to sleep at night I am happy to do that for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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I know a number of children whose parents didn't do sleep training who have major sleep problems. We did CIO and have had none. There are entire books written on the subject, you know. How it works. You are fortunate that your 4 dc's didn't need any training, but that doesn't mean "CIO sucks." It just means you didn't do it and your dc's learned to sleep without the training. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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fortunate? I think my experience is more the norm than your "number" of children with sleep issues because they were not sleep "trained". Please. Are you really believing that kids need to cry themselves to sleep in order to become good sleepers? Do you really think that our instinct that somehow letting a baby cry for that long is hard to bear is entirely useless? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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np: I agree with the original post. The parent I knwo who were not blessed with good sleepers by 4-8 months and were not good enough parents top train their children to sleep still have 5 and 6 and 7 yos who are up in the middle of the night or in their rooms, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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those habits are corrected easily. no? The kids are old enough to understand how things are supposed to work and you can work with them somehow. I do wonder, though, what sleep issues a 5, 6, 7 or even 9 year old has that cannot addressed like other things at that age. An infant does not understand any of this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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you must have young children. they wouldlhave been corrected easily if they parents had trained their kids to sleep when they were younger [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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yes, and the most children do not need to be trained. It is called maturity. As soon as the child is mature enough to overcome whatever is hindering him from going to sleep/self soothing he will sleep just fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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I haven't seen this to be true. Four year olds are certianly mature enough to sleep alone, fall asleep ina romm by themselves and stay in their own bed (barring sickness, or an occasional bad dream). And the kids that were nto sleep trained are still bad sleepers at four. Would you give your kid only m&ms becuase they prefered them instead of training them to eat a varied diet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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this is not my experience. sorry. But whatever. You just go ahead and let your children cry to sleep. Go ahead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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My children sleep quite well thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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ITTTTTA...mom of a 9 and 6 yo who usd cio when things required it and whose children love her dearly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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that's good to know. i guess i just thought since i didn't have to do this with #1 i wouldn't have to with #2. with #1 she nursed to sleep until 6 months and just one night didn't fall asleeep so i put her to bed anyway and she was fine and was always a fantastic sleeper. i thought the same thing would work with #2 and it hasn't worked at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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#1 was a great sleeper for me, but a 19 mos insisted that the bedtime routine last allnight so we had to do CIO ( took less than 5 days). #1 would not sleep through the night and woudl not transfer after nurising to sleep so in depseration at 7.5 months, we did CIO. She nevr even woke up for her second feeding after CIo fo 15 miuntes one night! Then we had some short 5- 10 minutes cries for a few days onece per night. It truly work and we ere batter parents for doing this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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Here is some inspiration: DD is two and I have to lie with her until she falls asleep. Keep in mind, while she didn't CIO alone, she sometimes has cried at bedtime because she didn't want to go to bed to the point of being ill. She sleeps fine but it's a pain and I would like the time with DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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she is not going to keep you there forever. I can promise you that. What might help to accelerate this, though, is to make some changes to her room. Maybe a new bed. Or new bedsheets. Or let her sleep in a tent in the middle of her room for a few days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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"not forever" cna equal 7 more years for this OR. My 9 yo would happily have me fall asleep with her, if that was our habit. OR: you can still fix this problem, it isn't too late. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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you are funny. It doesn't cross your mind that at a certain age you can actually do things like a reward system? There is absolutely no need to let a child cry to sleep as a baby. Period. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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Yes, there is, period. There is not reason for a toddler to have a parent stay in his or her room at bed time every night or for a the mother of 7.5 month old to walk around dead to the world, tortured by a baby who won't sleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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just like there is no need to let a young child cry himself to sleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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how old are your children? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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8, 5, and 4. None of them were sleep trained. They all had issue here and there (like getting into our bed at night, not wanting to go to sleep, not wanting to get up in the morning, nightmares for days nonstop, etc. etc. etc.) but they were all addressed in a way that did not need any crying it out. As somebody above mentioned at some age it is like a switch is flipped and the kids started to sleep better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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there are many ways to sleep train and CIO is quick and effective, and worked very well for my children. No nightmares for days non-stop, no continous getting into our bed etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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OR. Hmm... I'm open to hearing how I can move away from this, but I don't really think she would fall for those? We just got new sheets, and she is in a bed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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