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07.08.08, 07:48 AM Special Needs
23 replies
Question about autism, developmental issues: GF asked me if I thought her dc looked normal. DC is 1 ydoes not react to things, no interest in walking or trying, does not easily respond or react to actions or interaction. Eyes are crossed. Could he be just slower to develop? Do you think he should be tested, I said he looked fine but he doesn't strike me as fine but I am not a doctor and would never say so but now I am so worried and want to urge her to test now if that is the case. Any advice? TIA [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Special Needs 07.08.08, 07:48 AM Flag
 

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next time she brings it up I would tell her to ask her ped because it's obviously concerning her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 07:50 AM Flag
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You are an ass. I hate dishonest people who are afraid to say difficult things. If you thought she should get help as her FRIEND you should have not only urged her you should be helping her info etc. Get off UB and call her now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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np; I disagree she's an ass. You don't know her friend. How many ppl ask things like do I look fat in this dress and would get totally pissed off if you said yes. YOU don't know how she will react to OP's honest opinion. I think OP should just urge her to ask these questions to the professionals..her PED [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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Thank you for that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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I am not an a$$ I love my friend, I don't want to worry her unnecessarily and I REALLY don't want her thinking I feel there is something wrong with her db! I did tell her to talk to the ped because I am just a mother not a trained doctor, but trust me this all comes from love and support. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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this is the only thing you could have told her. Good rec's..just hope she calls PED [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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I agree, I really hate that too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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np: sure..you would love for a friend to tell you that your kid looks sick or like something is wrong. Then when the dc isn't dx with an issue or developemental delay, you will bitch and moan how this person called your dc delayed or retarded. Some ppl are damned if they do and damned if they don't [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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Then don't say "the baby looks fine" so that she feels like it is all in her head. When someone is in that situation they could feel scared of the results and need someone else to push them to take actions. You should have said "if you have any concerns you go to a doctor and follow it up with some great story of the mother who got help and now the baby is perfect and how great that she listened to her insticts." No you don't say "you have a freaking crossed eyed baby" but you can say "Go right now, because you can never be too sure. In any case you know you messed up or you wouldn't be posting here to assure yourself that you aren't the awful friend that you are. NOW GO FIX IT. THINK OF THAT POOR CHILD NOT GETTING HELP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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she did tell her she wasn't a professional and told her to go and see the PED. She gave her good advice..but why should she be brutally honest wtih someone that she knows may not appreciate the brutal honestly. She knows her friend..we don't [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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because she also said the child looks fine. When I call my friend and say I think I some thing is wrong, there are times when it is my imagination running wild and there are times when I'm on to some thing. When my friend says don't call the dr. just yet it is just a headache not brain tumor that is good, but if she really thought it was a brian tumor like poster above really believes there is a problem, she is delaying me from getting the help I need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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as a mom you need to use your own gut instinct and not rely on your friends to tell you to call the dr or not. If you can't do this you are screwed with parenting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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np: gosh, what's wrong with asking the opinion of a mom-friend for something you're concerned about first? yikes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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nothing is wrong with asking a friend BUT don't ask if you are really not ready for some brutal honesty. I think if you feel like there may be a physical issue with your dc, call the ped and not ask a mom friend. They aren't Drs and may give you the wrong advice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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OP here and if you are the same lady who has been yelling and calling me an ass since this post began then you have no right to be acting as if this other woman is jumping all over you. She makes a good point, why would you care what a friend said instead of your doctor, and WHY would you be the sort of friend to stick her busybody nose into another family's private business. you clearly have issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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OP here, that woman you just yelled at was not me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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surely her ped has noticed the crossed eyes? If not she should maybe find a new ped or contact early intervention for an evaluation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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OK I can answer this. When my dc was 6 months old my best friend told me she thought it was unusual for a child to show certain traits and they may be signs of an underlying issue. My dh & I never recognized these signs until she pointed them out, then they were impossible to miss. We had our pediatrician immediately see him and that got us on the way to a dx. I am THANKFUL that she was forthright with me and I was able to start helping dc immediately. It still amazes me that no one else saw these signs, including pediatrician, until she pointed them out! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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Thank you for sharing your story and I am thrilled that you got help! GL to you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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I don't think what you did was bad. I would just follow up and ask her what she decided to do. Anyway, my niece sounds very different but her pediatrician was lame and the eye doctor actually was the one who noticed things. She probably needs to bring the child to an eye dr to have the baby's eyes uncrossed. Even this might contribute to the baby's behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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OP HERE: does crossed eyes mean there could be something mentally wrong with the baby????? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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no..it may be that the baby has weak eye muscles [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:24 AM Flag
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right, but it may be something that is easier to correct now with an eye patch or something 'simple'......if the kids eyes are crossed her ped should have said something about it by now to her and if not, I'd be looking for a new ped. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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