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07.07.08, 17:40 PM General Topics
26 replies
Does anyone share an inherited summer home with siblings? We have an unusual situation where because my brother abandoned my parents he owns 25% to my 75%. He and his wife use the place for long vacations and tell everyone they "own" it with us while fighting tooth and nail when we need a contribution to run the house. It's a real drag anyone btdt? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 05:40 PM Flag
 

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No, but your parents did you no favors with splitting it up like that - by having so little percentage in the worth, you have no leverage to buy your brother out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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what do you mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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With only 25% ownership, there's no reason you could ever convince him to sell - he is getting more than that worth out of it by taking long vacations and not paying proportional upkeep. Your parents should have just given him cash in the amount of 25% of the house's worth (even if they had to mortgage the property to do it). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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well, you hit the nail on the head. We're tied together and it is awful. He is milking this for everything it's worth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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I'm really sorry. I think a lot of people make serious mistakes in their estate planning - giving too much credit to some children, exacting payback from others, etc. Everyone I know who shares ownership of a vacation house ends up fighting with their siblings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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sure she does, she can have the house appraised and offer him 25 or 30% of the value [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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Yes, but he's getting more than that worth out of the house by bullying her. If they owned the house 50/50, that amount of money might convince him to take the buyout. Or, as I said above, parents should have given him cash. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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OP here: exactly! If he gets his 25% it won't be enough to buy himself another home so he has no incentive to do anything other than remain a burr on my butt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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do you mean since he has so little there is nothing in it for him to be bought out since he can come there when he wants and I run the damn thing like a luxury timeshare? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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Yup. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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What are your rights legally? He may disagree on what you consider essential expenses. Such as hiring a landscaper when you can mow the lawn yourselves, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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I'm the trustee in the family trust that was established for the property. Technically what I say goes but in real life we operate by consensus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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How is it consensus if you are being bullied? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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You're right of course. He's my only brother and also only relative. If I go to the mat with him over this I might lose him and the connection to his family (dw and 2 dcs) I can't do that emotionally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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Yes. And I'll tell you, it sucks. My sister and I inherited my parents summer home. Then we both had to pay estate tax on our portions. I had the cash, she didn't. So she wanted to sell (in a down market) and I didn't. Over the years, she has wanted to sell but hasn't been happy with either the offers or my offers to buy her out. So she has a house she doesn't want and won't maintain. It's more stress than anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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We should all form a support group! Seriously there are worse problems I know but this does suck. I feel for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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I'm not saying I have the worst problem in the world. But here is my issue: I own a home, I have to pay property taxes and maintain it, my sister and I can never agree on the financial responsibilities for this, we paid (what to us) is a fortune in estate taxes and can't structure a way for one to buy out the other without paying a fortune in gift taxes. It's a headache. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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i've seen this same post at least three times over the past month or so..... anyway...don't you have money in a trust or other money your parents left to use so that you run the house? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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np: Well, it's summer - her brother is probably driving her insane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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honest - it's not me. lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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OP: Not me -there must be others out there. Is there a search term? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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there's plenty of money but dh is in his 50's and experiencing the choppy Wall St employment market. He does not want to put in a dime if my brother won't pay his proportional share. It's a stand off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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DH and his sister share a vacation house, purchased by his parents as part of estate planning. We sometimes fight, but it's worked out pretty well. We've had the house 15 years. We use the house much more than dh's sister. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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does she pay her share of maintenance and capital improvements? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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Yes. I think it's easier because money isn't an issue here. We argue occasionally about decorating, when we'll use house. But money is what makes everyone nuts, and that's not an issue here (dh's parents pay!). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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That all sounds really crazy and infantalizing. Everyone should just grow up and get their own house. It's never good to be under Mommy and Daddy's thumb. And do people really want to vacation with their siblings? Sounds pretty ghastly to me, and that's why we sold our share of the family compound [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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