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07.07.08, 10:47 AM Newborn
44 replies
Still on maternity leave, going back in a few months and am completely freaked about getting a nanny. As I stroll through the park with DS, they talk on phones, sit with other nanny's and chat, and completely ignore DC. And this is in public, what is going on at home?? DC propped in front of the TV??? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Newborn 07.07.08, 10:47 AM Flag
 

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wow, not all nannies are like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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np: I hear you, I am in the same position, just have to trust the references, often they will tell you that other moms see their nanny out and say how great she is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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that's what you think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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Actually, I was a nanny and I was not like that AT ALL - completely engaged with the kids, running around with them at the park, singing, dancing, making up games. at home we read together, played, cooked and only had the tv on (parents approved of course) when I was cooking dinner and couldn't watch them or if we were having a "movie night" together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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^^ actually, my DH and I just visited one of the families I used to work for this weekend. The mom started telling my dh about how she once found me with her kids (dds ages 2 and 4 at the time) in the park, sitting in a meadow making clover chains and singing. She said it was like the Sound of Music and she was so happy to have me as a nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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DON'T FEED THE TROLL!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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who is the troll (which post?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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OP: are you calling me a troll? Why would you do that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 03:14 PM Flag
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do you have a relationship with your mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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I was picking my dd from summer camp on friday and a nanny with a 3yr old broke her sandal. She was so pissed off about her sandal breaking she totally took it out on the little boy. As they were entering the camp, she smacked the back of his head and yelling WOULD YOU WALK ALREADY. I was shocked [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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and did you call the mother? I hope so..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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or: I have no clue who this nanny was there to pick up. Never saw them before. I asked some of the other moms nearby if they knew the family but no one did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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I would tell the camp..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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Gee, I'm sure this really helped the OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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Don't freak out. You will interview enough nannies, and speak to enough former employers, that you will come to feel comfortable (as much as possible) with the person you ultimately hire. You will also do a test period with this person, when you are at home, so you can observe how she is with your db, how your db reacts to her. The reality is, there is some down time involved in child care (as strange as that concept seems to you right now!), and it's good for nannies to get out & socialize. It's a very natural thing that develops as kids play together at the playground. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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You should be afraid. Get a nanny cam -- I had to fire one after 6 days and she interviewed great, good references, clean background check. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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What was she doing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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Giving db either tylenol or benadryl (couldn't tell) and then lied when I asked her if she did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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To make the kid sleep? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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not op, seriously, i want to know too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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what did she do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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OP: I interviewed 2 nanny's with great reference letters, but when I called previous family never got a call back. What does that say? DS has stomach problems, he's mine and I love him, so I have the patience to walk him through it, but not convinced someone else will. Unfortunately my mom still works, but thankfully can do the occasional babysit. Everyone says " word of mouth", but end up talking to more nannys who want to get their friends jobs, than picking up someone's beloved nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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Where are you? When I was looking, I looked on Craig's list and prenatalyoga.com (UWS) and only was interested in following up on postings from families. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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I wouldn't trust Craiglist, it's pretty easy to fake a posting from a family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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Once you have read enough of those posts, you can tell whether it's fake either from the post itself, or the initial email, or at worse, the initial phone call. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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I'm on the UWS and have been asking nannys in the building. Nanny xchange is a great resource, I called a few but they want to start now and I wouldn't need someone til Sept. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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Keep at it. It can take a while. And you can always pay an agency too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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It's not a good sign if you can't reach the families by phone. It could be they're away for the summer or something though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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You'll get through it. You already know the kind of things you don't want and stress them during the interview process. And check all references. It is frustrating and you may have to get rid of one and hire another until you find the right fit. But will happen. And make sure you sign db up for classes at a Gymboree type place, so you know db is getting some kind of activity/interaction in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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I was freaked out about this too, but I love my nanny (found her through word of mouth). She does sit with other nannies and chat, but those nannies take care of DCs who have become my DS's friends. She does chat on the phone from time to time (as do I), and she may occasionally watch some TV (as do I), but DS loves her--has been excited to see her from day 1--and I know she's doing a great job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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good points. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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You are interviewing a little too soon...the best nannies get snatched up immediately....look next month , at the soonest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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OP: thanks for the positive reinforcement. just a new mom with no mom friends in the city (everyone escaped to the burbs and stay home) and feel out of the know when it comes to being a city mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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our wonderful babysitter is looking for something f/t as our kids will both be in school in the fall - they are out there - keep looking. post here and i bet you get some good recs...or if you want to post your email i will put you in touch with our sitter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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OP: not comfortable with posting my email, but I appreciate the offer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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np: OP, for your child, you can get comfortable doing lots of things! Someone just offered you a grear reccomendation for a nanny and the timing is perfect. Go sign up for a gmail account or post your email inside in a format liek this < namename (at) company (dot) net/com so it can't be trolled. I've never had an issue doing this here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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OP: You're right. If you'd still like to provide me with your wonderful babysitter's info, I'm momushaK (at) gmail (dot) com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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itda. yes there are bad nannies, but you do your homework, check references, have a sahm friend observe her in the playground and report back, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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I WOHM 4 days and did daycare, which is another option. I don't feel like I only see bad nannies though, and my friends with older kids that talk don't all suddenly reveal evil behavior is going down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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so do daycare or sahm. nannies clearly aren't for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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OP: I'm sure their are great nannys out there, but it seems i rarely see a nanny actually interacting with the kids. I have never seen a nanny reading to a DC. i'm not saying i see any kind of neglect, just more watching than nurturing. This person will be with my DC more than I will, how can I trust that my child will receive the same are from someone I found from a newspaper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:37 PM Flag
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nanny poster above - honestly, if you want that kind of nanny hire a college student who really loves kids. They are the most likely to engage your kids, read with them, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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One thing to consider: your budget assuming you have flexibility Consider the level of education of your nanny. It is not everything - you want someone who loves kids, has great references, etc... but having a high level of education helps a lot. We found a great nanny through an agency, so did our close friends. Both are from South America, highly educated and came to this country after the economies collapsed in Columbia and Argentina. Agencies can be very helpful if this is what you are looking for. Their comp is high though: we pay $1,000 per week + significant year-end / stay bonus + healthcare. College / grad students are another option but unlikely on a full-time, long-term basis. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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