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07.07.08, 10:28 AM General Topics
20 replies
dh is staunchly pro-private / TT track for dd. i am staunchly public / off-track. how would you resolve this? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 10:28 AM Flag
 

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I have nothing against public schools, but if you and dh can securely afford private, I would agree with dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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i strongly feel that 'street smarts' and parental guidance make a child more worldly than a private. my nieces go to an elite private, and now that they are tweens, i do not like how they focus so much on material things, only care about their clothes and looks, and if they --get this--have the same or better LV bag than their peers. ick. i see the kids in our bklyn nabe...they seem so much more grounded. (even if they are going to bklyn privates, there is something about not being in a totally exclusive environment that is making the kids in my neighborhood less icky than my nieces.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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np: you do realize not all privates are like this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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You do realize that a lot of that is due to parental involvement or lack thereof, and you can control a lot of the way your child acts by not giving in to their every whim. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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np I think you are stereotyping private schools. Not all are the same. Not all are full of materialistic wenches or "icky" girls. Try and fine something that will be the best education possible for your kids but not so "icky". (LOL!) Have you thought about catholic or jewish or other religious based schools? What about Montessori? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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only montessori appeals to me. we are not religious, therefore i don't think it would be a good match for us to send dd to a religious-based school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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np: try the progressives (downtown) not stuffy at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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well fine. whatever. My point is that there are options and you should look into them! Not all private schools are what your stereotype implies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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sorry but my dds are in a Manhattan private and your desription is far from our reality with this school. There are many families with deep pockets but are far from entitled or label whores. We are not a rich family but happy to have our grounded kids at this private school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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Many publics are like this, in fact, IME more are. It is about picking the right school for your dd. Look at both public and private, you might be pleasantly surprised. I was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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obviously someone is going to have to compromise. What are the most important issues you both have? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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we have totally diff values. dh is worried if we don't start dd 'on-track' from the beginning, she won't get into an elite ivy 16.5 years from now (ridiculous, i think.) i think starting your kid on-track quashes creativity and 'street' learning. you may learn how to make the grade, but you don't really learn. dh, fyi, came from 'on track,' i came from public. we went to the same elite uni. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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well you are both going to have to compromise here I think. I answered your "icky" post above about private schools. They aren't all the same. Hopefully you can find something that will be ok for both of you. Public schools and private schools both vary widely on all issues and depending on where you are, either can be good or bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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I posted below and oh--this is somewhat different. I never cared about private for the "track", just because I loved schoool, DH hated it, and I value many things about private education that public, alas, doesn't have right now (arts, music, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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OP: i went to an excellent public (though enormous, and not in new york). it offered russian, mandarin, hebrew, excellent arts classes, etc. i had a great experience w public--and my parents were not involved at all, which i think is KEY. so i feel like any decent school will be great as long as dh and i are highly involved w what dd is doing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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I don't think you can be blcak/white on this. where do you live? how are your local schools? can you afford priate? what is your child like? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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we are zoned for PS 261 in boerum hill, which highly appeals to me. we can afford private, dh wants to send dd to one of the bklyn hts privates. dd is too young for me to even figure out what would be good for her. but, if we want to go the private route, we have to start the whole preschool thing soon. 1.5 y/o. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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why not a down to earth private (if you are worried about the stuffy ones) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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np: that sounds like a good compromise. I am not in NY, so I know it's different. But we looked at private schools for DS--dh liked this very baby banker one and I liked the more crunchy one. We ended up getting waitlisted at both and went with our public school. Now that DS has been through kinder I feel like the issue got resolved for us in the perfect way--he is so happy there, we feel like we fit in very well with the school community. I can't imagine being happier at another school. OP I hope it works itself out well for you & your dh too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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This was me and DH (I was pro-private, him pro-public). How old is dc? For us, what ended up happening was looking at schools and suddenly DH, who is a great dad, realized that he wanted to do the best he could for ds (not that public is not good, and we would certainly send if that was what we could afford). DS goes to a nice Brooklyn private. I went to a TT in Manhattan and would not send a child to one now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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