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07.07.08, 08:11 AM New York City
43 replies
Would you move into a home with your DH if it was left to him solely and he refuses to put your name on the deed? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 07.07.08, 08:11 AM Flag
 

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I would feel uncomfortable about it. Have you talked to him about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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sure if i didn't have to clean it, pay mortgage, utilities etc... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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Why doesn't he want to add your name? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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I don't know, when I try to talk to him about it we argue. His father and uncle were both divorced and were taken for their homes, I guess he wouldn't want this happening to him. I mean, we have two DC together, I can't understand this ignorance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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Sorry. He sounds like an a$$. Tell him you wont pay the mortgage if your name isn't on the deed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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Maybe you need a post nuptial agreement. P.S., his father and uncle were not "taken" for their homes - it was part of a settlement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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Maybe there is a lawyer on who can help you. If you live in the house for the next 30 years, raise your dc's there, clean it, pay the mortgage, etc, maybe it will be considered yours as well from a legal standpoint. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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I thought of this as well. I am still insulted though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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I would be too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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The big issue here is why does he refuse to put your name on the deed? That would send off a whole bunch of red flags to me that have nothing to do with the moving decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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I guess out of fear of him screwing up and me putting his balls on a cutting board. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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he sounds like an asshole to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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np: I don't know, I own a home my grandmother left me and DH never said anything about being put on the deed (I got it before marrying him). It's not the house we live in though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 09:22 AM Flag
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This is actually very common for people that have money in the family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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Yes, the money generally just follows the blood line, not the ILs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 09:23 AM Flag
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would I move into a free house? yeah. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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DH lives in "my" house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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How so? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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it sounds like you are not going to get your way this time. I would drop it. he is not receptive to the idea right now. maybe down the road you can convince him but i would let it go for now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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I own it and am solely on the deed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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NP - any mortgage on the house? How long had you been married when you bought house, or did you buy it before you married? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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yes, we have a mortgage and the house was purchased a few years ago, after our marriage, and he is the responsible party but it is my name on the deed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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maybe you should just have a full post-nup agreement covering all assets and income. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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nope. He'll have to get over his relatives marriages and either get into or out of mine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 09:18 AM Flag
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i'm not on our home's deed...we're lazy about stuff like that. dh just put my name on his bank accts after 10 years. but, everything is taken care of in a will. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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Of course will does nothing for you if there is a divorce, you realize this right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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yes, i realize that. but i don't think i'd want to live in this place anyhow. dh would definitely make sure that dd and i were taken care of in event of divorce, and i'd get 50% of his money, anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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Depending on the state you live in, you may get 50% of the house too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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I think he has a right to the house that was left to him alone. I would say that I would not move in however unless he agrees that the appreciation in value of the house while you live their as a couple will be shared equally. Otherwise you don't have the ability to share in the appreciation of the marital home which is the single largest asset most people have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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I don't get it. The house was left to him. As long as you stay married, you can enjoy the benefits of it. Why does he have to put you on the deed? Are you anticipating your financial status after a divorce? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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You don't get it? You are naive. Most marriages fail. You must protect yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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So, not only are you planning on what you're entitled to in the event of a divorce, you believe trying to get partial ownership of a house that you did nothing to help procur is fair. You sound like the ideal wife. This house is his birthright, it has nothing to do with you. If you want purchase a home or some other asset and don't share it with him. Why do you feel entitled to own a portion of his home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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It is his house. With this argument you are trying to say that OP should get the most out of this marriage financially. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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Yes, if you are married, it is half yours regardless of deed. Did you sign a prenup? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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I guess men and women think differently. My wife has an enourmous amount of property coming to her after her dad dies. He's very elderly, so this is emminent. I never thought about asking to be put on the deeds once. I'm just happy for her and eventually our dd. I'm really sickened by the responses on this post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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I think this is more a UB woman kind of reaction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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I hope so. I believe you're right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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Look, it's something that was left to him solely, let him do what he wants with it. Put yourself in his position, if something was left to you solely (a big yacht, condo shares, etc..) how would you feel if dh kept nagging to put his name on the title? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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Exactly! ITTA!! This just shows her character. She's obviously thinking about what would happen in the event of a divorce. She wants to carve up an asset that rightfully belongs in his family. If I were her husband, I wouldn't budge one inch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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follow up to above: You feel more emotional about the house because we tend to feel that way about homes - the place we raise our families and live. But you have to recognize that it's just an asset that was left for him. If you are worried, start accumulating your own assets, and reconsider sharing all the items willed to you solely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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ITTTA! Great post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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If the family wanted both of you to own it, the will would've stipulated that. If it was left to him solely, you have no right to it, IMO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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