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07.06.08, 16:16 PM General Topics
20 replies
anyone survive or know anyone who's marriage survived an affair? If so, how is the marriage now? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.06.08, 04:16 PM Flag
 

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My parents did, and they've been married 50+ years (it's been about 20 years since the affair). It was a wake-up call for both of them and I think their relationship came out of it a lot stronger. On the flip side, another relative's marriage fell apart after his affair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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Did he want to leave the other woman? Did he want to make it work with his wife? .....the marriage that didn't survive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:17 PM Flag
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He was very done--tried counseling but was already emotionally gone. I think they made some mistakes after their kids came along--focused totally on the kids, didn't maintain/cultivate their own relationship--and that started it all. The cheating was a one-off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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he was already emotionally gone, you mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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Glad your parents worked it out. Who had the affair..dad or mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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My dad--but my mom was also responsible for the problems they were having. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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mine has, so far...but it aint easy... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:18 PM Flag
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Do you mind me asking the details? How long ago was affair? Are you guys in therapy? Did you find out after or during affair? etc.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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oh, it is such a sick story! he went overseas to work, while i was pregnant, and met someone, had an affair and i found out the day before i went into labour (had to have sex to induce as well!) he was apologetic but not necessarily feeling that bad about it. kinda of a 'things happen' sort of attitude. i had no choice, as i had shut down my life in order to move overseas, and felt extremely lost. but now, things are good, he regrets it and feels horrible for how it made me feel, and scared at what he could have lost. as the 'victim', the most important thing to remember is that it isnt you, has nothing to do with you, the problem lays with them, and if you believe they can change, they can... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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you lost me at had to have sex to induce..." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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Do you ever have good days with your husband? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:19 PM Flag
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yep, everyday, unless there is a reminder... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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I tried to stay with a boyfriend that cheated on me, I ended up cheating a year later (the only time I've ever cheated). After that, I always told myself that there was no way I would stay because it is almost impossible to actually forgive and forget. I know this isn't a marriage, but my 2 cents. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:21 PM Flag
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think it would have been different if you had 2 kids with the guy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:22 PM Flag
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having kids changes everything... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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No, I really don't (for me). I just couldn't get it out of my mind and eventually started behaving in self-destructive ways around single guys. I am also a very strong person, and it made me completely insecure. I really hated what I became inside. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:26 PM Flag
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please tell me you are not the woman whose DH has been having an affair with the 20 year old nanny. Please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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no. don't know about that one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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Yes, it's pretty good most days [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.06.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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